Originally Posted By: bubbatime
....... I have no use for people in general. I dont want them knocking on my door. I dont want them chit chatting with me at the grocery store. And I sure dont wont them approaching me at the gas station and asking me for money. And I pity the fool that attempts to victimize me.
We are programmed from little kids to be polite to everyone. Criminals on the other hand, grow up in dangerous neighborhoods. They are NOT taught the same value structure that most "normal" humans. They are taught, and intimately learn, about predator vs prey. They see politeness, helpfulness, and cheerful attitudes as weakness. They WILL use this against you. You do NOT have to be polite to everyone. If your radar is going off that something is wrong, and you think a person might be dangerous or otherwise trying to victimize you, or is otherwise just a scum bag that you'd rather not converse with, you absolutely should not be nice to them. Dont smile at them. Dont be friendly with them. Be direct, look them directly in the eyes, and tell them to back off, stay away, you dont want to talk to them, you dont want to be best buddies, and you are going on your way.
There is a time to be polite, friendly and cheerful. And then there comes a time to be not that. Its hard for most "normal" folks to be "mean" or direct with someone, but its a very valuable skill to learn and "occasionally" practice, in my opinion.
At this point, Im mostly a grumpy middle age man. A product of my environment, no doubt. Do whatever makes you happy. If thats being nice and making new friends, then so be it. If thats walling yourself off and staying away from others, then so be it.
Excellent points made here. This nonsense of, "being nice to everyone" is both silly and stupid. And can be outright dangerous in many situations, as Bubba has pointed out. I don't get involved with my neighbors. Mostly because they just want to know your business, and see what you have. They all talk too much, and before you know it your business has become everyone's business.
The friendliest guy on my block has had his home broken into three times in the last 15 years. He ended up moving last year. There is nothing wrong with the neighborhood. He was most likely victimized by the same people he was overly friendly to.
I don't care what other people say or do, and I don't like hearing, or being part of general gossip. I don't have, or go to neighbors garage and yard sales. I have enough junk. When I want rid of it, I throw it out, rather than sit in the hot Sun all day trying to make a couple of bucks. And then have to listen to everyone's B.S. all day long. My porch light is OFF on Halloween night. I don't buy candy.
I don't answer my door unless I'm expecting something or someone. Strangers don't call on you to give you money. They want it from you. I firmly believe the more reclusive you are, the safer you are. If the people on my block think I'm nothing but an unfriendly, retired old codger, good. Especially if they stay away from me because of it.
Most everywhere I have lived, the neighbors who get broken into and burglarized the most, are usually the people who are the friendliest, and entertain the most. Or else have a pack of kids running in and out all day. All it takes is one wrong person, and you'll get an unwanted visitor. It's only a matter of time. I've seen far too many examples of it to be convinced otherwise.
