Here is my particular situation:
I agree with everything you said here. If all cars had oil coolers it would be awesome. It's actually something that most people don't really think about, and you're right, they look at motor oil in a vacuum.
- The 5.7 HEMI in the RAM 1500 came without an oil cooler from the factory, so the oil temperature is around 222F~224F when cruising and ~245F when towing a moderate load, it goes even higher when driving uphill. It's not ideal to play cSt roulette with 5W-20 ILSAC oil in this configuration if you want any kind of longevity out of it
- The 2017 Hyundai Santa FE - the 3.3L Lambda II engine doesn't really like thin oils, as it will rattle at startup if it was off for more than 10 hours. Since switching to 0W-40 the rattling went away. I guess when it was engineered they tested it with different motor oils, over 10 years ago. Plenty of people live with the startup rattle and they don't even know what it is. Fuel economy is just as abysmal no matter what oil I run in that motor or how careful I drive.
- The 2.4L GDI motor ironically is the only one that has an oil cooler, so it would be ideal to run 0W-20 or 5W-20. Unfortunately, it has fuel dilution issues and I'm too poor to fill her up with premium. Yes, the ECU can learn do adjust based on fuel, but it's not worth the cost. The middle ground I found is to go to a 0W-40 oil so I can sleep better at night.
Don't take this the wrong way because they can get up there in oil temp and water temp because of turbo heat so I'm not saying it's superior but a F150 Ecoboost can likely get away with with a ILSAC Spec 5W-30 with dilution and shearing because of the cooler and a Hemi can get away without it and with a lower viscosity because it's not a TGDI engine. Again I'm not saying one is superior to the other just why I think certain decisions where made.