Gas station begging

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Originally Posted By: Plumber
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FwP2vV6Wm1Y


^ haha I was hoping someone would post this.

When I rented a newish car and looked middle class for a couple days some guy offered to clean/detail it for whatever money I could spare. Guess more of a "squeegie man" routine where he pulls your heartstrings that he is actually *trying* to work.
 
This may come as a surprise to many of you fellow bitogers, but I refuse to give money to anyone on a street corner, gas station, park or anywhere else panhandlers are located.

I donate a large portion of my time to our local food pantry. I also work in connection with several homeless shelters in the area. What I've learned in doing this are all the tricks of the trade.

Yes, there is the rare individual who does need the help and what I've learned as well is how you can tell the person who needs it from the person who is merely trying a scam.

To those who doubt it, come and sit with me at a homeless shelter, or better yet, come sit around the campfire one night in a homeless camp out in woods. Plenty of illegal substances being consumed all night long, washed down with cheap booze or bargain basement beer, all purchased with money "earned" from a sad story or supposed "desperate situation."

I am a Christian, but I am very suspicious of both "jail house" religion and "street corner" religion. While these individuals might truly "believe," I struggle to the point of frustration at someone "using God" to motivate someone else into feeling guilty to the point of giving money.

I do agree with giving food or buying a meal for someone in need, but quite frankly, giving cash is the easy way out for both parties. I've had plenty of beggars walk away from me for the simple reason that I don't simply say "no." My thinking is if they have the stones to ask me for cash, then that gives me the right to pry into their personal life and how they got into this mess to begin with. That's how you figure out if they are truly in need as opposed to just wanting money for "whatever."

Sorry for the long soap box speech - so here endeth the rant.
 
Originally Posted By: Cristobal
Originally Posted By: Chris142
its a daily thing here. cant walk across a parking lot or get gas without a bum begging


A year ago, I was with an elderly lady friend at the Outpost just north of the 15 Freeway on Highway 395. We were hit up by this young man covered with tattoos who was very aggressive. I gave him no money.


What [censored] me off,is that trash like that has money for all those sleazy tattoos,but no money for food. I`m like,what the [censored]?
 
I haven't encountered this yet, and I hope not to. But it did give me an idea. I'm a slow thinker, so it pays for me to think ahead. Instead of saying "no" and possibly having them badger me, maybe I'll "answer" them in a foreign language (OK, not a perfect foreign language, but it should be close enough) and give them a quizzical look. Hopefully that would move them on to their next mark.
 
Watch the ABC program with John Quinones.... 'What would you do?'

Segment at a gas station where different people (race, color, gender) ask strangers for gas money.
 
One time we were leaving a convenience store, and this woman comes up saying she needed money for tampons. My wife offers to take her into the store and buy them for her. At that point, she admits she wants the money for cigarettes. By then, she is practically leaning in my window, and I can smell beer on her. When I tell her no, she starts ranting and yelling and swearing at me. I rolled up my window and backed away, with her still yelling.
 
Originally Posted By: dlundblad
We never have beggars in my hick town and I never go into the parts of the big city where they are found. The girlfriend and I did get harassed (and followed) by a guy wanting change while we were visiting her aunt in Indianapolis.

We went into a store and he stopped thankfully.


Ive experienced this to in Indy ! the ones that bother me are the ones wearing $100 sneakers and dressed fairly well, begging outside the mall.. Kids and ladys are the targets.. late teens and early 20's
 
I won't dismiss out of hand someone claiming to be in need; One might consider should the tables be turned. I tend to evaluate what the person is saying and make a "on the spot" albeit somewhat uninformed decision.

Case in point; I was in New Haven CT about 9:45 one Sunday night and a guy asks me for some change; he said he needed 3 bucks to cover the night in the homeless shelter. While talking to him, he asks me if I lived in New Haven and I said I lived down by the CT river (about 30 miles away). He said he spent several years in a reform school down there and it didn't work out too well. In retrospect, he said, everyone was just trying to get him to learn things like algebra, and that he should have been more cooperative, in the end, he said, "I should have listened" The sincerity of his words and the regret of his actions would have been evident to anyone; clearly a reflective and thoughtful person.

I asked him the same of the school and coincidentally, it is the one in my neighborhood, and I mention this to him.

After a bit of a conversation I mention I was attending a music only 10pm church service and he should come along. He said the shelter closes the doors @ 10 and he needs to be there.

I toss him the $3 and wish him well as does he to me

I remember this encounter and use it as a reminder that not everyone is a shyster
 
Quote:

One time we were leaving a convenience store, and this woman comes up saying she needed money for tampons. My wife offers to take her into the store and buy them for her. At that point, she admits she wants the money for cigarettes. By then, she is practically leaning in my window, and I can smell beer on her. When I tell her no, she starts ranting and yelling and swearing at me.


By her own actions, she should have stuck to her original story, clearly the more believable one.....
 
I've only encountered this once. @ a Flying J off I-57, Just East of where it ends/begins @ I-55 (Some where near Sikeston, MO), roughly half way home from TX. as i start fueling the Neon(pulled in on fumes), Middle aged fella walks up to me, asking for anything i can spare, as he's was almost out of fuel, and had just used up all his cash having his alternator replaced(or some such). I normally don't carry cash, but since i was traveling on vacation, I may have had a couple hundred on me.
I kept trying to talk myself away, while filling the tank(thankfully that car only has and 8 or so gallon tank), he wouldn't leave. finally as i was getting in the car, i handed him a $20(smallest bill i had), and he left.


I see it as operating on 2 principals:
1) Pay it Forward (if he was truthfull)
2) If you give a stranger $XX, and you never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

I normally have a fairly Decent [censored] Detector, seemed mostly truthful, i think my slightly skeevey feeling was "who are you and why are you talking to me? leave me alone!!" running through my head.
 
Originally Posted By: earlyre
and had just used up all his cash having his alternator replaced(or some such).


I hate to rain on your "passing it forward," but I can't count the number of times I've heard the "just had my alternator replaced" story. I even heard it twice from the same fella about a month apart. He had come from Tennessee to visit a buddy and had barely enough to get here when his alternator went, etc, etc, etc. Stupid me gave him some cash. Sure enough, about a month later here comes the same fella with the same story - long story short I spent my time announcing to everyone present this guys scam.

Happened another time at Church during Bible Class where this lady came in wanting to buy shoes so she could go to a friends funeral. We felt so sorry for her and passed the hat so she could buy a nice pair of shoes. A month later, she came back with the exact same story, (apparently, she had used this one so often, she forgot she had already visited us).

I've bought bus tickets and put people on the bus so they could get home. I've given people rides when it wasn't on my way, (I drove one man all the way to Huntsville Alabama one time - he had one arm, no money and his shoes were literally falling off his feet). I felt good about those times because I was able to help someone who truly needed the help.

The Bible says, "Be careful to entertain strangers, for by so doing, some have entertained angels unawares." The idea is not to be so tight fisted that we ignore a person who is truly needy.

But the Bible also says, "Be as gentle as doves and as wise as serpents." My resources are limited, so I must use them wisely. So my first question to someone on a long distant journey who had an unexpected vehicle repair is, "why did you begin your journey on such limited funds with no resources to fall back on? Isn't there someone you can call, a friend or family member? Or do you find yourself literally without a friend in the world who can help and has your family rejected you to the point they will not help you? If that's the case, how did you get into that situation with your family? What kind of life choices have you made that put you into that situation?"

Like I said, ask me for money, and I'm going to get into your personal business.
 
Originally Posted By: earlyre
I've only encountered this once. @ a Flying J off I-57, Just East of where it ends/begins @ I-55 (Some where near Sikeston, MO), roughly half way home from TX. as i start fueling the Neon(pulled in on fumes), Middle aged fella walks up to me, asking for anything i can spare, as he's was almost out of fuel, and had just used up all his cash having his alternator replaced(or some such). I normally don't carry cash, but since i was traveling on vacation, I may have had a couple hundred on me.
I kept trying to talk myself away, while filling the tank(thankfully that car only has and 8 or so gallon tank), he wouldn't leave. finally as i was getting in the car, i handed him a $20(smallest bill i had), and he left.


I see it as operating on 2 principals:
1) Pay it Forward (if he was truthfull)
2) If you give a stranger $XX, and you never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

I normally have a fairly Decent [censored] Detector, seemed mostly truthful, i think my slightly skeevey feeling was "who are you and why are you talking to me? leave me alone!!" running through my head.


I can understand this if you haven't encountered begging before, I just see it all the time, so I am pretty hardened to the tactics, and am immediately skeptical of anyone willing to beg.

I think the next time this happens, I am going to report it to the gas station attendant. I am just sick of it.

I have at times told the beggar what I thought. I told one guy at a grocery store with a serious beggar problem "this parking lot is played out, you need to try another one." I told another "if I had a nickel for every time I was hit up for money around here, I'd be rich." I used to be polite, but I have run out of patience for that. It seems like being polite just tells them "I need to try harder with this guy." I am usually borderline mean with beggars, and it works, they move on quickly. I don't like being that way with anyone, but pro beggars have used up all my patience.

Birmingham has no shortage of homeless shelters and other places that provide assistance to people on hard times. There is help available if they are willing to follow rules and try to be a functional member of society.

What really bothered me today is I saw it go down from the start. I saw the lady beeline to a good target, I saw her put on a "LORD HELP ME" show, and I could tell right away that she had done this before. It really irritated me. Something about her approach just really struck a nerve with me.

And for the record, I am not totally heartless. A few months back I drove a homeless guy to the main bus terminal because the bus driver decided to skip the stop that day (common occurrence here). He didn't ask me for anything beyond the ride, and was very grateful for what I did. He had a reasonable request, and I can deal with that. There are people who need a little help, and there are parking lot hustlers. Parking lot hustlers get no sympathy or money from me.
 
Last edited:
Another story of a beggar.

I was at a light and a guy was standing there. For some reason I was feeling generous and gave him $5. I turn down the street and stop to eat. So I'm sitting on the patio chomping down some tacos when I see the guy walking down the other side of the street. He walks into a parking lot and get's into a very nice WS6 Trans Am.

I was [censored]. I ran out, jumped in my car and gave chase. He stopped at a gas station and pulled a big wad of cash out of his pocket. I proceeded to confront him and let him know that I would be getting either my $5 back or all of the cash. His choice. He wanted to argue and it got real heated. In the end I left with $20 and he had to just deal with it.
 
Just a side note about giving rides to strangers - one time this fellow approached me needing a ride to a town south of where I live - he wanted to see his old girlfriend and heard she was working at a strip club.

At first, I didn't say anything. I was thinking, "He's not asking for money - just a ride. Hummmmmm

I had the afternoon free and told him to hop in. So the two of us rode in "Wonder the Thunder Pig" all the way to the strip club. When we arrived, he asks, "You want to come in?"

I had never been in a strip club in my life, but the cause seem both good and noble.

We go in, we sit down, we wait.

The stage extends into the middle of the room and a woman with really long black hair enters the stage through a little door. There are several poles on the stage made from a clear substance. Said poles are filled with water which bubbles. The woman with the really long black hair "dances" in a way that is hard to describe. There are mirrors and colored lights. The music is loud.

Suddenly, a woman with odd tattoos sits down with us. This is my new friends old girlfriend. They chat. I listen, I watch, I try to make a point of looking her in the eye as she is "dressed" for work. I find this a challenge.

Finally, he tells me he doesn't need a ride back home as he and "his old lady" are going to "hook up." Mission accomplished.

When I arrived home later that day, my wife asked me, "What have you been up to today?"

"Sweetheart," says I, "it was a day of adventure."
 
Originally Posted By: TTK
I have a feeling that this whole episode disturbed you. It disturbs me too, when this happens. You are probably right, but there is always this nagging feeling of what if this person was sincere and I didn't help them.


Exactly, you usually make a decision one way or another in a moment. Even when you're fairly certain your dealing with a con you're often left with that unsure feeling. Everyone has a story. Watching this lady go from pump to pump, you know she's done this before but it's hard to watch without trying to make some kind of positive difference in this persons situation. Of course that's the emotion they play on!
 
Originally Posted By: OtisBlkR1
Originally Posted By: dlundblad
We never have beggars in my hick town and I never go into the parts of the big city where they are found. The girlfriend and I did get harassed (and followed) by a guy wanting change while we were visiting her aunt in Indianapolis.

We went into a store and he stopped thankfully.


Ive experienced this to in Indy ! the ones that bother me are the ones wearing $100 sneakers and dressed fairly well, begging outside the mall.. Kids and ladys are the targets.. late teens and early 20's


Circle Center Mall is where I get my experiences.

I had one guy walk out of the CVS (I think) there with a cheap digital camera in his CVS bag.. He was asking if he could sell it for some money.

Saw Santa Claus on a motorcycle a few seconds later which made up for the stupidity. Lol.
 
Originally Posted By: 01rangerxl
Is anyone else getting tired of people begging at gas stations? Is this happening in the rest of the country, or is this a "down souf" thing?

Oh, it happens up here, too.
 
Originally Posted By: simple_gifts
I won't dismiss out of hand someone claiming to be in need; One might consider should the tables be turned. I tend to evaluate what the person is saying and make a "on the spot" albeit somewhat uninformed decision.

Case in point; I was in New Haven CT about 9:45 one Sunday night and a guy asks me for some change; he said he needed 3 bucks to cover the night in the homeless shelter. While talking to him, he asks me if I lived in New Haven and I said I lived down by the CT river (about 30 miles away). He said he spent several years in a reform school down there and it didn't work out too well. In retrospect, he said, everyone was just trying to get him to learn things like algebra, and that he should have been more cooperative, in the end, he said, "I should have listened" The sincerity of his words and the regret of his actions would have been evident to anyone; clearly a reflective and thoughtful person.

I asked him the same of the school and coincidentally, it is the one in my neighborhood, and I mention this to him.

After a bit of a conversation I mention I was attending a music only 10pm church service and he should come along. He said the shelter closes the doors @ 10 and he needs to be there.

I toss him the $3 and wish him well as does he to me

I remember this encounter and use it as a reminder that not everyone is a shyster


But most are.
 
Originally Posted By: AdRock

Another story of a beggar.

I was at a light and a guy was standing there. For some reason I was feeling generous and gave him $5. I turn down the street and stop to eat. So I'm sitting on the patio chomping down some tacos when I see the guy walking down the other side of the street. He walks into a parking lot and get's into a very nice WS6 Trans Am.

I was [censored]. I ran out, jumped in my car and gave chase. He stopped at a gas station and pulled a big wad of cash out of his pocket. I proceeded to confront him and let him know that I would be getting either my $5 back or all of the cash. His choice. He wanted to argue and it got real heated. In the end I left with $20 and he had to just deal with it.


You should have been locked up (or simply SHOT DEAD) for robbery.
 
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