Why do women cancel on me all the time?

[javacontour]

If you want to find the one, you have to be the one.

You have to be where the women are.

From my experience, churches are not much better than bars. Met my ex-wife at a church. Didn't prevent her from being a cheating....

Do things. Go to the gym. Take classes, go to coffee shops, art museums, etc.

I meet all sorts of women. A spin class at the gym is 2:1 women for men, a target rich environment.

Of course, it's easier for me, I'm married, so I'm not trying hard, yet I meet women all the time. If I were less honorable, I'm sure I could have any number of women. But I wouldn't do that to myself or my wife.

We have a couple in our bicycle group who started dating and are now getting married.

Of course, I'm an extrovert, so I'm always out there. Probably harder if you are an introvert.

 

[mk378]

Originally Posted By: OneEyeJack
Don't talk about engine oil.

But do keep your truck in good running order, because reliability is something that people appreciate.

 

[Imp4]

You are asking for dating advice on an internet motor oil forum.......

Respectfully, I think you need to get a clue....

 

[mahansm]

There are pretty women everywhere. They get hit on a lot; it doesn't matter to them if they blow a guy off as there will be another one along in 5 minutes.
Give her intrigue, mystery. Don't let her figure you out and don't be too eager to please. If she flakes on you, *NEXT*.
The attitude is that you're going to be doing something interesting anyhow and you're willing to let her come along. She'll be constantly testing you to see if you have a spine.
"Where do you want to eat?"
"Oh, I don't care. Anywhere."
"How about xxxx?
"No, some lame excuse."
"Well, yyyy?"
"No, some other lame excuse."
and so on.

Try:
I'm going to xxxx for dinner. Wanna come?
If no, then "OK, where should I drop you off?"

John Ross did some excellent articles on this game and how to play it.

 

[KrisZ]

Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is a sign of...?

I would quit online dating, or trying o get a date all together for a little bit, if trouble getting a date has been going on for a while. Perhaps your actions, or whatever you do, seem desperate and desperate doen't work with women, jobs, banks, and many, many other situations.

 

[maxdustington]

Get used to the rejection dude! Eventually it will stop bothering you and you will stop caring about each individual interaction. This will make you less needy and more attractive to women.

Just keep at it, you will get somewhere through volume as long as you stay resilient and aloof.

I also hate to say it, but they might be out of your league. The only way to find out is volume and calibration.

 

[RooflessVW]

Dude, if I was single... I'd be hitting all the health food stores.

Nothin but CrossFit girls in Yoga pants. Get you a crazy vegan girl with blue hair. Good times.

 

[georgemiller]

 

[Linctex]

Originally Posted By: skyactiv

My youngest sister did online dating and told me she would get dozens of responses when she put her ad up online.
You’re going up against guys that have more to offer than you.


It’s hard to hear this .....

But it’s true

Time to lower the bar a little

 

[Al]

I knew by the title who was posting.

Its actually pretty obvious why they are canceling

Without a network of friends your chances of getting a decent date are minuscule ...unless you have a lot to offer..even then..you first need an introduction. I am 72..if I were single I could get a date/week. I am nothing special but I am in good shape, shave and otherwise look decent. I have a good reputation. I have friends who would be happy to intro me.

So in short. You need friends who know you and can vouch for you. You have to be decent looking, well manicured, and otherwise have something to offer....like intelligence, good conversation..etc. And you don't find a trout in a mackerel barrel...And they (the good ones) are not looking in a mackerel barrel.

 

[SirTanon]

One other comment, that I used to get told when I was younger, and then eventually learned by experience.

Stop LOOKING for women. Just live your life, do everything to make yourself a happier, successful (in whatever it is you want to do), and independent person. Once you stop LOOKING, one will find YOU. The trick is to be the best you that you can be. Once you're happy just being you, the women will be more inclined to want to be with you, and it will just happen.

How do I know this? After my previous girlfriend of 8 years dumped me.. and hard.. I was a wreck, tried everything I could to make relationships happen, and found myself failing really bad. Apparently I was coming off as very needy, hopeless, etc.. One woman actually told me straight up that until I figured myself out, I'd be of little interest to anyone. So I did.. found some new friends, hit the gym, got my mind in the right place. Next thing I knew, I met the woman who is now my wife.

.. granted I DID meet her online, but you see, I wasn't LOOKING for anyone at the time.. I was just hanging out in chat rooms talking with online friends about stuff, and ended up talking with her. We ended up clicking.

 

[barkingspider]

First, get in shape, get some decent clothes, get a hair cut, and clean ur truck. Then just start talking to people everywhere you go and be friendly. Don’t matter what age, gender, race, etc...just strIke up a conversation. U are practicing your social and conversation skills. U never know who u will meet. An old lady u speak to at the grocery store may have a daughter your age that she would introduce u too. If u have a small circle of friends, make new ones. Take classes at your local community center, college, etc. take up a hobby like hiking, a certain sport, reading, etc. u can meet people wth same interest. Volunteer where you can (food bank, church, etc). Don’t know what to talk about except oil, read up on current events use that as an ice breaker. Get a cool dog and go to the dog park. Don’t worry about rejection, every guy goes through it, even rich, good looking, athletic, smart dudes get rejected. Good luck

 

[jhellwig]

Originally Posted By: georgemiller



??? Could you just sum it up as don’t be an [censored]?

And if a woman is attracted to an [censored] then avoid her.

 

[Ducked]

Maybe they are Japanese. Not wishing to stereotype here, but I've found this is much more common, almost a rule, with Japanese girls.

My multicultural ethnocentric but inclusive theory is that they are too polite to tell me to get lost when I make the first approach.

Never had that problem with Australian girls, to take a limit case counter-example.

On the Internyet, no one can hear you scream...er...Banzai!

 

[ZZman]

Women like confidence.
Women like men that make them laugh.
Women like men that can carry on conversation.
Women like attractive men.
Women like men with power.
Women like men with money.
Women like men that make them feel attractive.

How many ya got?

 

[SatinSilver]

Give up smoking and meet at restaurant that serves drinks. Which means no McDonalds, Perkins, Denny's, etc. Even if you don't drink. From previous posts the OP is very thin and works landscaping. So weight prob isn't a factor. I would clean the finger nails real well. I know in the past I've asked for pics of you because of the similiar topics to this one. Even if sent to email in order to give advice back. Well that didn't happen. So maybe a confidence thing.

Anyway the more normal you seem the better your chances will be. So don't hit on them in the beginning until they know you a little bit. So at least three meetings or so.

 

[Donald]

Re-read your profile? How interesting is it for a girl to read? Some have profiles that are 10 pages, others 2 sentences. Do you have interests that girls would also have. Do you smoke? Drink a lot?

I met my wife online. Married almost 4 yrs.

 

[odotb]

Friend of mine is on his 4th wife. First one for love, second for sex, third for money, and fourth for obedience. His last wife is from Thailand and he tells me he this is the best yet. About a 30 year age difference, but she seems happy.

 

[BJD78]

My brother gave up on dating after 3 failed marriages and now is single with 2 hunting dogs who are always happy to see him and they are much lower maintenance than wives as he puts it. Plus he is actually able to save $ now.

 

[Papa Bear]

Originally Posted By: odotb
Friend of mine is on his 4th wife. First one for love, second for sex, third for money, and fourth for obedience. His last wife is from Thailand and he tells me he this is the best yet. About a 30 year age difference, but she seems happy.


The trick to a long happy relationship is to work together through all those phases.
I finally realized that if I wanted things to be better that I had to change.