Stupidest jokes - Please contribute
- Thread starter vavavroom
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Maybe the formatting or layout was confusing. Fleas was the title and topic.
Adam
Had 'em.
Well, at least it rhymes. My greatgrandfather supposedly claimed that was the world's shortest poem. He died when he was 99 and I was 3.
The shortest joke of all time: firewood rental.
If a cannibal is late for dinner, what does he get?
The cold shoulder.
The cold shoulder.
No matter how loud you are, Niki is Lauda.
What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair black?
Artificial Intelligence.
Artificial Intelligence.
Shel_B
Site Donor 2023
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A plane is on its way to Toronto, when a blonde in economy class gets up, and moves to the first class section and sits down. The flight attendant sees her do this, and asks to see her ticket.
He then tells the blonde that she paid for economy class, and that she will have to sit in the back. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to stay right here.
The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and the co-pilot that there is a blonde bimbo sitting in first class, that belongs in economy, and won't move back to her seat.
The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for economy she will have to leave and return to her seat.
The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Toronto and I'm staying right here."
The co-pilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman who won't listen to reason.
The pilot says, "You say she is a blonde? I'll handle this. I'm married to a blonde. I speak blonde."
He goes back to the blonde and whispers in her ear, and she says, "Oh, I'm sorry." and gets up and goes back to her seat in economy..
The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss.
"I told her softly, ‘First Class isn't going to Toronto.’”
He then tells the blonde that she paid for economy class, and that she will have to sit in the back. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to stay right here.
The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and the co-pilot that there is a blonde bimbo sitting in first class, that belongs in economy, and won't move back to her seat.
The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for economy she will have to leave and return to her seat.
The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Toronto and I'm staying right here."
The co-pilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman who won't listen to reason.
The pilot says, "You say she is a blonde? I'll handle this. I'm married to a blonde. I speak blonde."
He goes back to the blonde and whispers in her ear, and she says, "Oh, I'm sorry." and gets up and goes back to her seat in economy..
The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss.
"I told her softly, ‘First Class isn't going to Toronto.’”
manicrodder
$50 site donor 2022
Two cannibals were having a guest for dinner. One says to the other you start at the feet and I will start at the head. A little time later headman says. "Isn't this great. What do you think?" Feetman says, "I'm having a ball." Headman says, " Slow down you're eating too fast!"
This smells like Updoc!
What’s Updoc?
Not much.
What’s Updoc?
Not much.
Shel_B
Site Donor 2023
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A few years ago a friend asked if I wanted to go with him to Boston to get a great fish dinner. I agreed, and we flew to Bean Town on a late afternoon flight.
When we arrived in Boston we hopped into a cab and my friend said to the driver, “Take us to get scrod!”
The driver turned to him and replied, “That’s the first time I’ve ever heard that asked in the pluperfect subjunctive.”
When we arrived in Boston we hopped into a cab and my friend said to the driver, “Take us to get scrod!”
The driver turned to him and replied, “That’s the first time I’ve ever heard that asked in the pluperfect subjunctive.”
manicrodder
$50 site donor 2022
What is Forrest Gump's email password?
1forrest1
1forrest1
Let’s see if it lasts LOL
A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room,
waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.
The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.
'Breast-fed,' she replied.
'Well, strip down to your waist,' the doctor ordered.
She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.
Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said,
'No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk.'
'I know,' she said, 'I'm his Grandma, but I'm glad I came.'
waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.
The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.
'Breast-fed,' she replied.
'Well, strip down to your waist,' the doctor ordered.
She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.
Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said,
'No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk.'
'I know,' she said, 'I'm his Grandma, but I'm glad I came.'
We were so poor, we couldn’t afford to pay attention.
Bear walks into a bar and says "I'll have a beer.............................................. and a shot"
"Why the big pause?" the bartender asks.
"I don't know." the bear responds. "I was just born with them."
"Why the big pause?" the bartender asks.
"I don't know." the bear responds. "I was just born with them."
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He's so dense light bends around him.
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