Erased...

Thanks guys...it's not just me, I know from places I go for understanding and help that there are worse...not much consolation, but three years ago my lawyer told me that my position, and with the kids the ages, I was the third worst position she had seen...been reclassified to number 1 the way things panned out, and we're manipulated.

There's a war on fathers down under... it's that simple
 
The court system doesn’t allow (grant) you visitation rights of kids in a public place like a park, mall or restaurant ?

I hope things get better and kids realize you are not the villain she says you are.
 
Shannow said:
Thanks guys...it's not just me, I know from places I go for understanding and help that there are worse...not much consolation, but three years ago my lawyer told me that my position, and with the kids the ages, I was the third worst position she had seen...been reclassified to number 1 the way things panned out, and we're manipulated.

There's a war on fathers down under... it's that simple
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The emasculation of certain males continues in western culture.
 
A good friend had his wife sue for divorce. She was a legal assistant and told him he didn't stand a chance because she knew the law. As predicted, she got a big settlement and kept their child away from him for many years.

Fifteen years later their daughter is making her own decisions and is now a big part part of my friend's new and happy family. Kids aren't dumb.
 
Dave Hess said:
The court system doesn’t allow (grant) you visitation rights of kids in a public place like a park, mall or restaurant ?

I hope things get better and kids realize you are not the villain she says you are.
Click to expand...

There's a "sweet spot" in the process, whereby the children can be prone to influence, and the courts will follow the children's "wishes".

My only hope was successful mediation, which I initiated, as the legal process would have made the kids 16 and 18.

If you are in the "sweet spot" you are literally powerless.


www.academia.edu

ParentectomyintheCrossfire.pdf

Parentectomy in the Crossfire by COLLETTE C. SUMMERS and DAVID M. SUMMERS The American Journal of Family Therapy, 34:243–261, 2006 Copyright © Taylor & Francis Group, LLC ISSN: 0192-6187 print / 1521-0383 online DOI: 10.1080/01926180600558349
www.academia.edu
 
How old are the kids? One day they'll be 18 and will hopefully be free from her and her mouth. Maybe you can find them on social media once they're adults, or once they get some more public data on them have a private investigator track down their addresses to mail them a letter.
 
Continue seeking professional assistance/counseling to deal and cope with the situation. Against popular notion, the male psyche is fragile and most of us are not equipped to handle these circumstances. Best wishes from all of us.
 
4 years now since I woke up under the same roof as my kids for the last time...
3 years, give or take a day since I saw either of them free range at the mall and heard their voices.

Time heals things...but the system is utterly broken.

And new Oz laws proposed are going to make the war on Dads even worse...implemented by a bloke whose mother told him that his father was dead until he was a teenager.
 
Shannow said:
4 years now since I woke up under the same roof as my kids for the last time...
3 years, give or take a day since I saw either of them free range at the mall and heard their voices.

Time heals things...but the system is utterly broken.

And new Oz laws proposed are going to make the war on Dads even worse...implemented by a bloke whose mother told him that his father was dead until he was a teenager.
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Praying for the best for you sir. Stay positive.
 
Shannow said:
Time heals things...but the system is utterly broken.
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I think of this thread often. For what ever reason, it is one of the few that sort of hit me dead-center and stuck with me. Mostly because I think we'd be fast friends in another life. So often we write things down and don't give much thought to whether others will care, or even notice.

I appreciate the update and I truly hope you've been able to find peace.

We fix things, so we tend to think these problems also have a solution, and we desperately search for one. Unfortunately, minds much more diabolical than mine, have over the last few million court cases, honed the system into perfection. Where men are actively considered disposable, have no rights and no recourse. They know what you will do, and actively prevent it. This is by design.

But one has to try, if only for sanity's sake.
 
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Way back in the 70's, my father was so stressed he had a heart attack at age 47 and never really worked another day in his life.

You see, my mother was given the 4500 sq ft house which my dad still had to pay for, she got the 2 younger boys and a righteous alimony/child support payment. The total of which was beyond my father's earnings. He never recovered from the heart attack, and was a shell of a man from then on.

He commuted by train, from Wilton, CT to NYC every day (a very long ride). 6AM into the city, 8PM arrival back home. But somehow, the courts believed he should live in squalor, while this was to be his burden, even as those he supported did nothing.

The heart attack ended that situation. He still lived in absolute squalor until I got him to FL, but at least paid no more. He and I remained very close until he died.

So, in some way, your thread moved me. I am not devoid of empathy, far from it.
 
Cujet,
thanks for the kind words...There are many here that I consider friends, and I share your feelings that we'd be on the same page. (As a Sigma, my circle is very small).

Very very few understand how warped the system is. 5 blokes a fortnight in Oz take their lives to get solace...but they are "only men" in the eyes of society. Sometimes I wonder about the disposable concept as a part of evolution, as they are the ones that hunted wild beasts, went to war etc. IS it ingrained in our hard wiring, but the legal systems that have been created have clear intent behind them...
 
Shannow said:
Cujet,
thanks for the kind words... the legal systems that have been created have clear intent behind them...
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Welcome!

Exactly!!!!! I sure wish I had an answer or two. I'm intelligent enough to recognize the utterly diabolical situation, not capable enough to change it. In the end, we can only change ourselves, within reasonable limits.

Maybe off topic a bit, but we hear people say that an entire population armed with AK's took on the US Government and won (Afghans). Those people are misinformed. The US Government had no intention of winning anything, instead, it was just a minor smack. None of the heavy weaponry was used.

The little guy just can't compete against real power. If they want to, they simply move in with utter impunity, drop a few "figurative" fission devices on target and go on their way. Immune to any repercussions. Precious few care about who is destroyed.

0rucQex.jpg
 
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"3 years since hearing their voices...."

I truly don't know what I'd do. Reading that made me very emotional. Nothing I write can help you feel better, Shannow, but everything you write helps me with perspective and priorities.

You are definitely in my thoughts.
 
wemay said:
"3 years since hearing their voices...."

I truly don't know what I'd do. Reading that made me very emotional. Nothing I write can help you feel better, Shannow, but everything you write helps me with perspective and priorities.

You are definitely in my thoughts.
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Both in July 2020...
Daughter's last spoken words were "Love you too Dadddy", as we had a hug, meeting free range in the mall.
Son's, as he turned on his heel and strode away "It's complicated, you wouldn't understand"....

That was it for both, blocked in all electonic forms.

As to what you'd do ?

Anxiety...going to the shops/mall, just plain anxiety...is this the day I see them...will they turn their backs like last time ?...utterly horrid...there was two years for that...never did see them such, and my son once crossing a road, daughter twice in the window of a car (and it's a SMALL town).

Last year, she moved them...14 hours drive, and 14 hour boat ride...Son, in his trials of his last year of High School exams...no chance of chance encounter now.
 
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