Do Your Kids Live With Grandparents ?

[dave1251]

Originally Posted by Shannow
multigenerational shared accommodation has been the vast majority of human existence.

No child care, no aged care. The kids learned about their family and values, the elderly felt that they had a place.

For a very brief period in the human story, "moving to where the work is" allowed a single decent job to buy and run a household, but that evaporated quickly to two incomes, kids in daycare, and the elderly parked into (expensive) aged care facilities.

It's all part of the plan


It is common outside of the U.S. for this arrangement my wife is having issues with our oldest not living with us. Having a 21 year in my house not taking care of his responsibilities and attempting to influence her on how to raise his younger brothers was causing some issues. Grown kids in living with parents/grandparents causes situations we are not used to dealing around here.

 

[jeepman3071]

Originally Posted by michaelluscher
Grandparents, no

Parents, partly

Has anyone looked at the rent these days?

It seems like it solves 2 problems

Older people get consistent checkups and attention, and younger people have somewhere to live

Sounds a little unorthodox, but fundamentally reasonable


This.

I'm pretty lucky for my age. I graduated from college with zero debt due to working full-time while in school and having money saved up before I went to college. I've pretty much always had some kind of job since I was 10, and have never had a car payment. I DIY most of my own car repairs and I'm able to save a ton of money. I have a decent paying job with health insurance.

Being a millennial myself, I am well aware of the reputation my generation has, and how many people deserve that rep. On the flip side, some of my friends who are very hard working are not as fortunate, simply because of the rising costs of everything. They have mountains of school debt, car payments, work 3 jobs, etc. Living with parents/grand parents allows them to at least get something saved and pay off loans.

I'm not bitter towards previous generations, but they have to understand that times have changed. My grandfather got his first job by knocking on doors. My father got the job that started his lifelong career in technology at a University while he was a student and was still finishing his degree. The three people above me in my company don't have college degrees, and two of them started because they knew someone in the industry and now make well over 6 figures. We just posted an entry level position. The requirements are a bachelor's degree, and 3-4 years of experience, all for $15 an hour, which my dad was making at his first "real" entry level job in 1988. Judging by our last position posting, we will have over 500 applicants. My parents bought their first house, brand new, in 1989 with their combined income. I make about that much now, have a good credit score with zero debt, but there is no way I'd get approved for a brand new house in my state.

Times have changed.

 

[02SE]

Originally Posted by jeepman3071


Times have changed.


They sure have. Kids today have it far easier than my parents did.

Should we talk about how as a child under the age of 10, my Dad helped his dad doing manual labor so the family (Mom, Dad, and three kids) would have something to eat? They didn't have multiple cars, they didn't go out to eat at restaurants, go to movies, satellite TV (there was no TV), cellphones, vacations, etc, etc. They worked hard at any job they could find, just to survive.

 

[Virtus_Probi]

Originally Posted by 02SE
Originally Posted by jeepman3071

Times have changed.

They sure have. Kids today have it far easier than my parents did.
Should we talk about how as a child under the age of 10, my Dad helped his dad doing manual labor so the family (Mom, Dad, and three kids) would have something to eat? They didn't have multiple cars, they didn't go out to eat at restaurants, go to movies, satellite TV (there was no TV), cellphones, vacations, etc, etc. They worked hard at any job they could find, just to survive.

My dad started working after school and in the summer at age 8 after his father died, think the family was food secure but he worked mostly so he could have clothes and shoes. Dad hated oatmeal and eventually told me that was what his family had for dinner most nights for years and years. Dad was a caddie (slept in the caddie shack in the summers), delivered ice cream, did odd jobs for a wealthy family who hired his mother as a housekeeper, etc. I used to sit and think after dad would reminisce while I was in grade school and imagine what it would have been like to have to go to work in the afternoon. Dad was lucky, he was able to finish high school but his older brothers dropped out so they could earn more money for the family. The connection with the family his mother worked for panned out for him when he was offered a job in their machinery business because he worked so hard on their house, he worked for them for nearly 40 years with a few years off for WWII.
I guess dad did make enough extra income to buy a car for himself, a Model T from one of his older brothers when he was 12(!). No driver's license or registration needed, the first thing he did after he bought it was jump in with another brother and drive it from Chicago to Wisconsin in a rainstorm...the top was ruined, so they held umbrellas! I have no idea how long that thing ran...

 

[JHZR2]

Originally Posted by Silk
I think a culture where care of the elderly by family members is considered abnormal, is an abnormal culture. Grandchildren of all ages living with grandparents is pretty normal here.


That can be admirable. I think the question here is more like kids living with grandparents because they can't manage to get themselves together and join the real world. There are cases where the parents ruined their own lives and can barely get by, then their grown-ish kids live in grandparents basement instead of their parents'.

 

[DejaVue]

Originally Posted by 02SE
Kids today have it far easier than my parents did.

They didn't have multiple cars, they didn't go out to eat at restaurants, go to movies, satellite TV (there was no TV), cellphones, vacations, etc, etc. They worked hard at any job they could find, just to survive.

There's truth to that. However, kids today can't expect to get a no-college-needed job straight out of high school at the local plant that pays (inflation-adjusted) $50k a year plus benefits and have few worries about getting downsized. Housing costs more. College costs more. They have to compete against cheap imported foreign labor. They have to be careful of everything they say so as not to be seen as insensitive -- which is tough to do since now people get offended about everything and might try to ruin your life over it.

They have little incentive to save money because interest rates are ridiculously low. They are told multiculturalism is great while at the same time have to worry they don't "culturally appropriate" any of it. They get a worse education, for multiple reasons. They have to be bilingual just to work at McDonalds. They aren't allowed to take pride in pre-1990 America.