How To Poop At Work

[Pablo]

Originally Posted By: crinkles
best poop i ever had - deserted beach 40 miles from anyone, at sundown, facing the waves. dug my own hole. el naturale. it was almost a religious moment.


All said, glad I wasn't there!

 

[Johnny]

I can't believe I just read these two pages.

 

[moribundman]

Originally Posted By: Johnny
I can't believe I just read these two pages.


Did you read those two pages under appropriate circumstances? Maybe your laptop has now been flagged.*

*See "flagged book" in the Seinfeld Glossary.

 

[greenaccord02]

I'm laughing so hard there's tears in my eyes.

After sharing a run-down, filthy bathroom with about 100 other men in the 18-21 age group for a couple years while in college, I can say that nothing bothers me about public restrooms. Everybody using that bathroom subsisted on a diet of cafeteria food, junk food, beer, and liquor. Every Friday night to Monday afternoon, it went uncleaned... I'll never forget, I used to carry a bottle of industrial strength deodorizer/disinfectant with me to the bathroom for the first couple months before I became desensitized. It was like the movie Jaws, where Brody is throwing out chum while holding a rag over his face soaked in Old Spice to shield him from the smell.

 

[addyguy]

Originally Posted By: CBDFrontier06
I'm amazed at what little shame my co-workers have in the restroom. I'm careful to contain noises, no matter how badly they need to escape. The guys I work with just saunter up to the urinal, the flow starts and they let 'er rip. Same goes for the guys in the stalls. I'm embarassed for them.

As far as entering a stall myself..I always wait until the bathroom is empty because, with only 3 stalls, you normally end up sitting less than 5 feet from someone else. I guess I'm wierd, because if a stall is occupied, I will not go in the next one and start my business. The space buffer just isn't large enough for comfort. Pooing is a very private act (to me anyway) and doing it 5 feet from a stranger is not gonna happen, wall or not. But this doesn't seem to stop anyone else in my office, so I guess I'm the freak.

The ones who go in there and linger for 15 minutes need professional help, or medical help. I'm out in 60 seconds.


I think this sums it up best for me. Doesn't bug me as much as it used to, so I've gotten a bit 'tougher' as I get older.

Beyond that, this thread is hilarious! I'm laughing my butt off, pun intended!

 

[mpvue]

I'm glad this thread got resurrected, it's too true and funny!
my latest problem at work is the cleaning lady. I need to visit the bathroom twice a day, and I need some 'time'. I swear, this lady almost EVERY TIME I'm in there, no matter what time of day, she's banging on the door to come in to clean! W T F? I'll look down the hall both ways before going in, checking for where she is, but almost w/o fail, once I'm all comfortable and 'involved', she breaks the mood.
it's gotten so bad I sent an email to HR.
I am going to make an attempt to find a 'safe haven', but I don't know if I always have time for the long walk.

 

[Pablo]

Originally Posted By: mpvue
my latest problem at work is the cleaning lady. I need to visit the bathroom twice a day, ..... I swear, this lady almost EVERY TIME I'm in there, no matter what time of day, she's banging on the door to come in to clean! W T F? I'll look down the hall both ways before going in, checking for where she is, but almost w/o fail, once I'm all comfortable and 'involved', she breaks the mood.....


Way too much information. Butt I think she likes you, my friend.

 

[ccdhowell]

Oh................I lost it at Havana Omelet......people are looking at me strangely now and I can't bring myself to tell them why I'm laughing so hard.

 

[ksJoe]

Originally Posted By: mpvue
my latest problem at work is the cleaning lady.


Whatever our cleaning lady uses to wash the floor leaves it sticky. At least, I hope its the cleaner thats sticky!

 

[herrhaus]

I don't know, but based on the last BM.....my mom would be proud of me!

Beware if your in the stall next to me brother.......

 

[daves87rs]

Originally Posted By: crinkles
best poop i ever had - deserted beach 40 miles from anyone, at sundown, facing the waves. dug my own hole. el naturale. it was almost a religious moment.


+3

 

[GMFan]

Living in a college dorm for 4 years and sharing public stalls/urinals/showers and nothing bothers me anymore.

I'm unemployed now, but my last job had a bathroom between two sides of the building, with doors on each side. I usually went in one door and out the other on the other side. Since people's desks were facing the bathroom, this avoided that awkward moment of "ya...that guy was in there for 10 minutes - must have been doing the #2!"

My most awkward experience was in the science building during college. I walked into the bathroom and blew my nose. After I blew my nose I proceeded to go into the stall. Just before I entered, my physics professor from a few semesters ago walked into the stall next to mine (2 stall bathroom)....Lets just say it was very awkward.

 

[StevieC]

Were you both conducting your own gravity experiments?

 

[beanoil]

http://www.poopreport.com
If you arent laughing in less than a minute, check for a pulse...

 

[RacerE7773]

One thing I've learned being a janitor is the nitwits whom are so paranoid they put 7 miles of TP on the seat that I just scrubbed with Comet equivalent NEVER flush.

I had just cleaned stalls, and one idiot actually thought he was Cujo...I wanted to

SO bad. Moron. I've thought of writing to Dear Abby with a list of points entitled "Be Kind to the janitor", but odds are the dingleberries won't see themselves in the list.

 

[ksJoe]

Hey Racer,

I suggest some signs that say:

"If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie"

 

[Crashbox]

Originally Posted By: RacerE7773
One thing I've learned being a janitor is the nitwits whom are so paranoid they put 7 miles of TP on the seat that I just scrubbed with Comet equivalent NEVER flush.

I had just cleaned stalls, and one idiot actually thought he was Cujo...I wanted to

SO bad. Moron. I've thought of writing to Dear Abby with a list of points entitled "Be Kind to the janitor", but odds are the dingleberries won't see themselves in the list.


Many years ago I was a custodian in an institution and occasionally I would hear someone gripe about the toilet seats not being adequately rinsed off (we used phenolic germicide back then and it will BURN). I could suggest various methods of evening the tables but I will refrain.

It is REALLY infuriating when people do not respect the efforts of the custodian. I am sorry you have to put up with such...

 

[Shannow]

When 18, I used to work at a petrol station.

Monday morning, first up was clean the loo's.

One Monday, boss told me that he didn't envy my job, but it had hung over from Saturday night, when the counter staff stopped handing the key out due to complaints with the mens'.

The hand basin was clogged with vomit, had to poke that carrot piece by carrot piece down the plug hole.

There was a syringe in the urinal, and a couple pieces of aluminium foil on the floor.

Used condoms, and some crusty white stuff on the closed black toilet seat.

 

[greenaccord02]

Originally Posted By: Shannow
When 18, I used to work at a petrol station.

Monday morning, first up was clean the loo's.

One Monday, boss told me that he didn't envy my job, but it had hung over from Saturday night, when the counter staff stopped handing the key out due to complaints with the mens'.

The hand basin was clogged with vomit, had to poke that carrot piece by carrot piece down the plug hole.

There was a syringe in the urinal, and a couple pieces of aluminium foil on the floor.

Used condoms, and some crusty white stuff on the closed black toilet seat.



Nice.

 

[addyguy]

If there was a floor drain, I'd have opened it, got a hose, stood back, and just hosed everything down the drain. Or at least hose it until it was possible to clean it w/o being sick....