My parents were killed in a car crash when I was 11 months old, and my grandparents raised me, till i was 17 and my grandpa died. My grandmother has never had an actual job outside the home. I quit school, and worked two jobs, so we could survive. Then the old run down house was condemned, and we were kicked out, I rented a place, and moved my grandma in with me. When i bought a house in 2019, I moved my grandmother in with me there, as she can't afford to have her own home. My grandmother will be staying with me until she passes away.
Getting married; where to live?
- Thread starter TimeFlies
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My parents were killed in a car crash when I was 11 months old, and my grandparents raised me, till i was 17 and my grandpa died. My grandmother has never had an actual job outside the home. I quit school, and worked two jobs, so we could survive. Then the old run down house was condemned, and we were kicked out, I rented a place, and moved my grandma in with me. When i bought a house in 2019, I moved my grandmother in with me there, as she can't afford to have her own home. My grandmother will be staying with me until she passes away.
What if we drive a VW and need 508 approvals?If we do this, nothing but name brand full synthetic, and 0W30 or 5W30 allowed
Now that she's moving in and that's sorted out.
This popped up on my MSN feed. What I wish I discussed with my wife a lot sooner. A basic recap of what many of said.
This popped up on my MSN feed. What I wish I discussed with my wife a lot sooner. A basic recap of what many of said.
Don’t mind him… unless you want your kids to resent you when they’re older. How anyone can say they love their kids then turn around and say that is beyond me. Like no, obviously I don’t want my kids living with me their whole lives, I want them to go out and be successful and I’m trying to raise them to that point. But to say “once your 18 get out or pay me money!!!” You suck and don’t deserve children.
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- Dec 16, 2022
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Props to you for taking care of your family and those in need.
Whenever I see an argument propped up only by "what happens in the animal world" I feel pretty safe writing of their entire argument, I mean if you've ever seen cats behave you'll feel a little silly dragging out the ole "animals do it" thing every time. Unless you happen to agree with incest or destroying the offspring of your rivals of course.
We're not animals.
Separate houses if possible, or at least separate bedrooms.
I'll be honest, don't know what that is.
When I joined here recently, it was to learn, because my oil knowledge is limited.
I take care of a logging truck with Detroit DD16, 4 pickups that all have a V8 engine, and a Kia sportage with 4 cylinder motor. I try to use what is good for them, although my employer, not me, makes the oil choice for the logging truck. I buy Motomaster oil filters for the 5 gas engines I service, and name brand synthetic oil when on sale, they all get the same oil, be it whatever I bought. Not saying my way is perfect, but at least I don't run the worst oil or filters made.
If I ever buy, or start working on something that needs a special oil, I'll be back here asking for advice. From my quick reading in the past, that little 4 cylinder turbo kia doesn't require special oil, so it gets 5W30 or 5W40 in summer, and 0W30 in winter.
The gas engines I change the oil in twice a year, none get high kms put on them. The logging truck gets an oil change every 6 weeks when working, but since I'm currently off for 5 weeks as its freeze up time, this time it will be longer. I did service my work truck the first week of being laid off, even though the oil only had 4 weeks on it, so it was done, and ready to go back to work in January.
Those are good, and we've discussed them all within the last year. Having been dating for 3.5 years, we have become a serious couple, not just casually dating, without looking at the future.
I won't be taking parenting advice from him, that's for sure. My grandparents raised me to be kind, caring, and love family and friends. I don't charge my grandma rent, and will never kick her out. Her income is limited, and the little she does have, about 60% of it goes toward paying for her medication that she needs to stay alive.Grandma wants the tv package with a lot of channels, and a home phone to talk to family and friends, she does pay for them. But I pay the mortgage, electric, gas, taxes, food, home repairs, and drive her around when i can.
I don't believe that because she is over 18, she owes me rent, or to get out. I find that a rough attitude, devoid of kindness and love. I love my grandmother, and would do anything for her.
Absolutely correct!
In a marriage, where to live is axiomatic. Together. You have a house. She doesn't. I think the real question you're asking is if you should get married, which is a whole different question. Will you stay true to her? Do you think she will stay true to you? Are you willing to commit to a lifetime of adaptation and some sacrifice to be with her forever? Do you think she is the kind of person who can do the same?
Other questions to look at beforehand:
Do you have the same attitudes about money and spending it? (Does she have a ton of maxed out credit cards?)
Similar expectations about children and how to raise them?
Similar long term goals?
Does she have friends, hobbies, interests outside of the two of you?
Is she psychologically sound (as sound as the female species gets
Are there signs of controlling behavior, unreasonable jealousy, difficulty with trust?
This is good advice. Especially about money as its up there in the things people fight about. We are old school - my wife and I keep our finances and life goals together . My wife is mostly a stay at home mom. When the paycheck comes in it’s not “my” money. It’s “ours.” She provides tremendous value in staying home to raise our children. Be on the same page about what kind of life you want together. Don’t not talk about it and then figure it out after your get married. Make sure you are on the same page about lifestyle expectations, debt, spending, etc. If you have reservations about sharing your money how do you think the incredibly difficult task of raising children will go? Don’t keep score. Be a team together and always communicate. Make sure you both are clear on what your life looks like together!
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Wow sorry to hear all that. You are an exception to what I posted. Your a wonderful person. If you get married of course she moves in with you and grandma, hopefully she gets to enjoy a great grand kid.
This is how my marriage is. I know other married couples that have fully separate bank accounts.
If you didn't ask her yet, I suggest just bringing it up in a casual manner and be open to any answer. At worst, nothing changes and you two still live apart like now. At best, she moves in. It doesn't seem like either one of you have insinuated about moving in together before and are fine keeping the living situation a status quo.
As long as she's not doing this to make you push out your grandma.
As long as she's not doing this to make you push out your grandma.
SammyChevelleTypeS3
$50 site donor 2023
You are a great guy for that.
Agreed.
Nick1994
$100 site donor 2024
Glad it worked out.
It seems completely bizarre to me that there's folks who aren't living together by the time they're married?
It seems completely bizarre to me that there's folks who aren't living together by the time they're married?
