Diamonds and Engagements

pbm said:
I also believe that many of them are pessimistic about their chances of ever owning a home (or even moving out of their parents home).
Also, there's the old "Why buy the cow when the milk if free" thing going on.
Click to expand...
Gen z kids are born 1997-2010 supposedly. So 13-26. They have any outlook that has the slightest bit of maturity how?!?

I’d take anything anyone feeds about kids that young with two grains of salt. Teenagers all have emotions and hormones and opinions churning. We know that’s the case and has been popularized for the last 60 years.

The kids I see getting educated and starting careers seem to be doing just fine. The adage that “kids today want in their 20s what took their parents a lifetime to build” may be valid, but it’s the prior generations that pushed the “I deserve” mentality on them. I suspect most will be fine and revert to the mean.
 
JHZR2 said:
I do think I read that being married had a good correlation to becoming a millionaire.

I suspect that those who are against traditional behaviors and are actively fighting/protesting them are less than savory in other areas of their life as well.

Of course we also see that folks who claim they’re for traditional family values also have skeletons.

I can’t think of a single close friend of mine who isn’t married with kids. We are in our early 40s. I do recognize that many people wait longer to get married and have kids, but I also note that women are very tuned into the fact that their clocks are ticking.

I live in a very progressive area, and my observation is that you still get a very family- focused outlook from most folks once you get past the woke modern people. With only elementary aged kids I observe very few single parent families, and cases where the parents aren’t “together”, they’re both heavily involved.

I think fighting against what is still the norm is just a phase. Some may never grow out of it.
Click to expand...
I suspect there are many dynamics at play that lead to a correlation between being married and millionaire status: shared expense burden, combined salaries for dual income households, the general delaying children leading to delayed expenses, etc. I wouldn't find it hard to believe there is a link to even the prospect of marriage and children = more likely to save, or perhaps forgo "wants" today for something that needs to be saved for tomorrow (education, the what-ifs of being a parent, etc.). Whether that is good or bad - tough for me to say until things shake out in that person's life much later on.

On a personal basis, I know plenty of folks making six figures that are single, no desire to get married or have kids, men and women, 20s through 50s, admittedly more in their 20s then their 50s, but the older they are on the spectrum also tends to equate to how much nicer their vacations are then mine. :)

My $.02, I think there is a lot more going on with marriage numbers then rebelling against traditional behaviors. More-so a change in what is important to people and why, and I suspect there is a lot factors (including those that you referenced) in play. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I find it interesting that people pointed to job satisfaction and close friends as more fulfilling then children, marriage or money. I tend to think people conflate the shifting of values for individuals to the downfall of generations (not directed at your post JHRZ2).

I'm sure I'm somewhat skewed in my opinion too, having been in a relationship for a long time before getting married, my wife and I received intense pressure for years to get married from family members, friends, co-workers, etc. I think many could not fathom what we were waiting for or how marriage could be so unimportant for us.
 
99Saturn said:
...
My $.02, I think there is a lot more going on with marriage numbers then rebelling against traditional behaviors. More-so a change in what is important to people and why, and I suspect there is a lot factors (including those that you referenced) in play. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I find it interesting that people pointed to job satisfaction and close friends as more fulfilling then children, marriage or money. I tend to think people conflate the shifting of values for individuals to the downfall of generations (not directed at your post JHRZ2).
...
Click to expand...
I agree. It's not rebellion based on what I'm seeing and hearing from my kids and their friends - marriage is of no value to them and it's potentially a high cost to get out.

It's an old institution and has no value in their lives. They have their friends and "significant others", and that's all they want.

Therefore, no need to get "engaged" as they already are really engaged with each other - symbols not needed to "display" that status.
 
JavierH19 said:
That's actually really pretty but i can see it being really delicate.
Click to expand...
Yeah that's true - mine (well both mine and my wife's) is pretty close to the one I pictured. Wife's is near perfect, mine stood up pretty well on daily wear for like 2-3 years with some surface scratches but I was fairly careful when to or not to wear mine. Eventually being absent minded on occasion caught up and I ended up with a chip in the band, easy enough to repair but I got tired of being so vigilant, so I wear one of the silicone ones when I opt to wear one.

The look my wife gets when she "shows off" her ring to many other women though = priceless.
 
dogememe said:
Now, in a gay relationship, who buys the ring? That is my question!

But seriously, I just looked it up and average for an engagement ring is over $5000!! That’s a ton of money for something that’s not actually useful and serves no actual purpose.
Click to expand...

If you're with someone like minded, they'll also realize engagement rings and extravagant weddings are a waste. We bought modest wedding bands and just had a dinner for the immediate family and friends.

My brother blew a ton of money on rings and an extravagant wedding just to get divorced a few years later.
 
AutoMechanic said:
It definitely seems less common today. But I do know people who have been married since they turned 18 too. It seems no marriage or young marriage is common today. I also know several in my generation who don’t want kids which I find disappointing. If I had someone I’d definitely be interested in marrying them as long as the ceremony was small and private I hate being the center of attention. By small I mean like our parents and grand parents and siblings and that’s it. I want to find the right girl for me but it seems so hard. I want to settle down and have kids and marriage. I know I’m only 21 so I still have time. The goal is I’d like to find someone by 25 and have kids before I turn 30. I’ll probably be like my parents and be too broke to buy from a jewelry store so I’ll just go to Walmart and get a nice one haha.
Click to expand...
If only soda cans still had pull tabs! Good for crafty folks. Wedding rings, necklaces, you name it.! 💍📿
 
ecotourist said:
An engagement yes. A diamond no.

I can't imagine a worse investment for a young couple, or for an older couple either.

Keep the money for a down payment on a house. And if you must have a diamond, buy a large clear flawless one and keep it in a bag in your safety deposit box. And expect to lose money on it.
Click to expand...
You got a like from the guy who couldn't afford to buy his wife-to-be a diamond back in the 1980s.
 
dishdude said:
If you're with someone like minded, they'll also realize engagement rings and extravagant weddings are a waste. We bought modest wedding bands and just had a dinner for the immediate family and friends.

My brother blew a ton of money on rings and an extravagant wedding just to get divorced a few years later.
Click to expand...
Our daughter-in-law's uncle commented that the length and happiness of a marriage seemed to be inversely proportional to the amount spent on the wedding - and then predicted a long and happy marriage for our son and daughter-in-law based on their potluck-supper wedding reception.
 
97K15004WD said:
I agree. It's not rebellion based on what I'm seeing and hearing from my kids and their friends - marriage is of no value to them and it's potentially a high cost to get out.
Click to expand...
I'd agree, it's not rebellion and there seems to be a tie-in with information technology. A young man can easily look up his chances of happiness or even losing half of his life's work.

Then there is always common law marriage:

  • District of Columbia
  • Georgia (if the relationship began prior to 1/1/97)
  • Idaho (if the relationship began prior 1/1/96)
  • Iowa
  • Kansas
  • Montana
  • New Hampshire (inheritance only)
  • Ohio (if the relationship began prior 10/10/91)
  • Oklahoma (Conflicting laws, discuss with a family law attorney)
  • Pennsylvania (if the relationship began prior 1/1/05)
  • Rhode Island
  • South Carolina
  • Texas
  • Utah
To make matters even more murky, if a man simply says "this is my wife", some states recognize that as marriage, sometimes a few more steps are required. This is known as "self solemnizing" or a "self unite"

Colorado
California
District of Columbia
Illinois
Kansas
Maine
Nevada
Pennsylvania
Wisconsin

If a court determines that your common law marriage is valid, you will need to obtain a traditional divorce.
 
Diamonds are useless and are the greatest marketing campaign in the history or marketing.
Funny how marriage cannot be seen without them.

Maybe the youngsters are smarter then we think and simply skip this useless bobble. Also, if one doesn’t plan on taking the tax benefits, why involve the government with your private affairs?
 
Cujet said:
I'd agree, it's not rebellion and there seems to be a tie-in with information technology. A young man can easily look up his chances of happiness or even losing half of his life's work.

Then there is always common law marriage:

  • District of Columbia
  • Georgia (if the relationship began prior to 1/1/97)
  • Idaho (if the relationship began prior 1/1/96)
  • Iowa
  • Kansas
  • Montana
  • New Hampshire (inheritance only)
  • Ohio (if the relationship began prior 10/10/91)
  • Oklahoma (Conflicting laws, discuss with a family law attorney)
  • Pennsylvania (if the relationship began prior 1/1/05)
  • Rhode Island
  • South Carolina
  • Texas
  • Utah
To make matters even more murky, if a man simply says "this is my wife", some states recognize that as marriage, sometimes a few more steps are required. This is known as "self solemnizing" or a "self unite"

Colorado
California
District of Columbia
Illinois
Kansas
Maine
Nevada
Pennsylvania
Wisconsin

If a court determines that your common law marriage is valid, you will need to obtain a traditional divorce.
Click to expand...
It is in the “states“ best interest to have people married. That seems unfortunately obvious when you can become married just by saying you were married, but you cannot get divorced by just saying you’re divorced.

Instead, you have to feed the judicial system, lawyers, and the “state”, large amounts of money to disentangle yourself from something that you didn’t even want to get involved in, but because your other half “represented“ that you were married, you WERE married.

Maybe the kids are seeing this, and realizing what a set-up it can be. That would certainly make them much smarter, and in my opinion, not rebellious but clued in and better able to make an informed decision regarding marriage.

Marriage now, due to longer life spans, certainly seems like a concept not necessarily rooted in reality, but more in "tradition".

And along with that, there is no need for "traditional" engagements requiring diamonds. I suspect the pressure to buy diamonds comes from the parents, and not the kid's themselves. And my guess would be the "bride's" parents are the most judging regarding the baubles of engagement.
 
Last edited:
KrisZ said:
Diamonds are useless and are the greatest marketing campaign in the history or marketing.
Funny how marriage cannot be seen without them.

Maybe the youngsters are smarter then we think and simply skip this useless bobble. Also, if one doesn’t plan on taking the tax benefits, why involve the government with your private affairs?
Click to expand...
No, diamonds are incredibly useful when put into cutting tools 😉
 
KrisZ said:
Diamonds ..... are the greatest marketing campaign in the history or marketing.
Click to expand...
One of the big diamond companies (we all know its name) decided it would be good for their business if a diamond ring was the proper engagement gift, and launched an ad campaign. Seems the campaign worked.

There is even a rule of thumb on how much to spend on the ring. You "should spend" 2 to 3 months income on an engagement ring.
 
dogememe said:
Now, in a gay relationship, who buys the ring? That is my question!
Click to expand...

More importantly, who gets the house in a divorce?


dogememe said:
But seriously, I just looked it up and average for an engagement ring is over $5000!! That’s a ton of money for something that’s not actually useful and serves no actual purpose.
Click to expand...

I would think that if, for some reason, one really a ring aren't the manufactured diamonds cheaper and better? And you are not supporting the DeBeers cartel.

Obligatory Family Guy diamonds reference.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

John Galt
Lifestyle Enrichment in Later Life and Its Association With Dementia Risk
Replies
18
Views
815
AZjeff
Pablo
  • Locked
IRAQ Report
Replies
3
Views
1K
Pablo
Back
Top