Chores for a 12 yr old?? Not have at home

[RichardS]

Sounds like a solid base to me!

Maybe offer her additional options on top of these basics with varying compensation. She can add some, all, or none.

Anything rated 1-3 (less than 5 minutes a day, but of varying physical output) earns X$ a week.

So on, until you hit 8-10, and max out at whatever is appropriate for a 12 yr old to be given as a cash allowance.

Just, perhaps, don't allow an 8 to be selected unless a certain number of lower options have been selected as well.

 

[gathermewool]

Originally Posted By: Chris142
Originally Posted By: rsylvstr
That's awesome.
Wrenching.
Cooking.
Laundry.
Make it fun and she can learn to take care of herself too
she is very self suficient. She feeds herself if she gets hungry. Unfornatly her diet at home consists of top ramen noodles,mac and cheeze and mcdonalds on a good day.

She is great @ monopoly and battleship. If I could have guaranteed to have a kid like her I would have had my own.


I'm really impressed with how you're handling this. Good for you, bud.

Do a morning brief and afternoon debrief to talk about what had been accomplished and what she thinks about it. Praise what she does well and, instead of making any negative statements just yet about anything she isn't up to par on, simply join her and give her some pointers. You're not her parent, but it sounds like you're a great role model and can provide mentorship to get her through this hard time in a productive, positive way.

Assess her each morning and afternoon and garner feedback. If she sounds enthusiastic, good. If she sounds overwhelmed, ask her what gives her the most trouble and try to help her work through it. If it's simply too much, ease off a little a and continue to monitor. The satisfaction of a job well done should provide a lot of motivation, but also a big fan of incentivizing work. She should be working toward something, even if it's something free, like a day off to drive somewhere she wants to go, like a park or restaurant a couple of hrs away.

 

[JTK]

You're doing a great thing Chris! It's especially great she doesn't complain about helping. My 4 kids are mostly around that age. It's like pulling teeth to get them to help (properly) most of the time.

 

[CT8]

It seems the time you spend with her is soooooo important.

 

[donnyj08]

Sounds like enough to me. Overloading will make her slack on her school work. It sounds like you are doing great. Don't forget to reward her for her work. I realize a place to live and taking care of her is a "reward", but be sure you let her know you're proud of her. For example if she is doing a good job with the chores you have given her tell her she is doing a good job and take her out for pizza or Ice Cream.

People who feel valued make themselves more valuable.

 

[IndyIan]

Maybe get her to help with grocery shopping and cooking for some simple, healthy, and cheap food? That would be a good set of skills to have if Mom is having trouble doing those things at home.

 

[Oldmoparguy1]

That's really great Chris. Simple chores. Ask her what she would like to do? Offer some possibilities. At that age I was mostly on my own, as long as I showed up for supper, no one cared. I had been driving a farm tractor, (ford 8n), from age 7. at 12 I spent the summer on my uncles farm. Great experience. At 13, I taught myself to drive my dads 37 chevy stake truck. It had a crash box and mechanical brakes. I would take it out in the field and drive it around for an hour. I was always up for a new opportunity. Sounds like she is also.

 

[dave123]

I would say she should know how to do basic cooking most will actually enjoy learning