Weddings... absolutely annoying anymore.

[supton]

If we had paid for our wedding, it would have been much smaller. My MIL though apparently wanted her daughter to have the wedding she didn't. It would have been nice to have that money for paying off school, but it wasn't my money to spend, ergo, no choice. I think it was a nice wedding, not perfect but good enough; and I never heard any complaints (but there was an open bar, that fixes many an issue). I would have been fine with much less; it's an important day, but all the "stress" was done before that (is she the right one? how well will we age together?) and all the real work (and cost) comes later.

The wife though is a bit laid back. The first dress she tried was the "right" one; she had to humor everyone else and spend a couple hours trying everything else suggested on. She wanted to be on time to the church, but it was others who were running late. Throughout the process she was often the only one not stressed out.

 

[supton]

I can't remember the source, but the "best" wedding I read went like this: Guy's birthday was coming up, and he became aware of a large surprise party that was going to be sprung on him. Like 40th or 50th, and people were going to be flying in. So on the big day, the doorbell rings, and he does the "surprised" thing at the throng of people there. Two minutes later he has the justice of peace step out and he presents all his family and friends with his wedding!

 

[Mykl]

Originally Posted By: javacontour
So I can't imagine we breached $1K for the whole thing, and it's the best wedding I've ever been to

That's awesome, and it sounds like it was actually a somewhat unique experience as well, for everyone involved.

I really tried to get ours to come in at a lower number, but even when you're trying to do it on the cheap random expenses seem to pop up out of nowhere. It didn't help that $600 of that $3000 went towards plane tickets for her sister who otherwise couldn't have made it. Then there was several hundred in clothing for her sister and my siblings.

All the credit in the world to my wife who still managed to come in under budget despite all of that.

To start we were both in favor of the idea of going to the court-house. But decided that having a ceremony and celebration would mean a lot to our families.

 

[NJC]

The last 2 weddings I attended had photography costs of $7k EACH!

On top of the other wedding "essentials", that's a heavy burden to absorb at a time when most aren't overloaded with cash.

 

[Bladecutter]

My wife and I were married on Oct 31 last year.
We splurged, and went all out.

We were married in the Open Space park across the street from The Stanley Hotel in Estes Park, Colorado.

We had dinner for us and all our guests at Cascades Restaurant in The Stanley, on Halloween.

We spent Halloween night in The Stanley, in Room 214, just 3 doors down from the famous haunted room. They actually upgraded us several notches, and we didn't notice until later, since we were so busy with all the wedding details that day.

The wedding ceremony, including pictures, was $600.
The dinner afterwards, which was fantastic, by the way, was $726, including the huge tip I put in. That covered all 14 guests ordering whatever they wanted right from the normal menu.
The hotel room was about $120 since my wife reserved it 4 months or so in advance.
We even had everyone get together the next morning for breakfast at the same restaurant in The Stanley. My father in law paid for that, so I'm not sure how much it was.

Two of my sisters decided not to come, and that made me sad that one chose not to come, but I had gone to both of their weddings. My wedding was about us getting married, and not some one up-man ship of my sister's weddings.

It was also about allowing my mom to be a guest to the wedding, and not requiring her to spend her energy baking us a cake, or three, like my other sister's weddings. I know my mom enjoyed that. Out of my three sisters, my oldest sister was the only one to come. That meant more than the other two. I didn't get to go to her wedding because she had hers shortly after I had my hip replacement several years ago, and I missed out.

But, everyone there had a great time.
My wife and I loved it, and it was special for so many different reasons.
Plus, it didn't even dent the bank. Can't really even call it a hard knock on the vault door.

And, we didn't have a registry, nor did we ask for any gifts of any kind.
My mom and her dad still provided us with a few gifts on the side, that they said were not wedding gifts, so we couldn't directly refuse them.

Now we're building our new house, with an attached 4 car garage.
Our priorities in life are a tiny bit different than the "Bridezilla's" you see on tv.

Does that meet the theme of the OP's questions, or did we go overboard?

BC.

 

[Astro14]

WELL DONE BC!

I love the Stanley - and it sounds like everyone had a good time...

 

[AdRock]

When my wife and I got engaged my dad offered me $7500 to just elope. About 2 weeks later her father told me pretty much the same thing. Now I'm thinking "good god, 15k free and clear to elope... I'm down with that". Couldn't talk her into it though. She wanted a church wedding with family & friends. I eventually gave in.

We still kept it reasonable though. We got married in an old church that my fathers parents got married in. Since my grandmother was a member the church cost was $50. We had the reception upstairs at the church with finger foods that our mothers made.

Our wedding started at 2pm and our plane for Vegas left at 6:15 pm. Between the wedding and a week in Vegas for a honeymoon were spent about 6K tops. AND, instead of a wedding registry at some store we simply said that if people would like to give a present to use to just throw a couple bucks in an envelope and it's all good. Whether they put $1, more than that, or just a card was fine with me, and much appreciated.



And to throw in a crazy wedding story. I had a cousin whos parents had PLENTY of cash rollin' in. They spent almost 70k on her first wedding. Mind you this was 70k in 1980's dollars. She annulled the marriage 2 weeks after they got back from their MONTH LONG honeymoon.

 

[Kruse]

Originally Posted By: AdRock
When my wife and I got engaged my dad offered me $7500 to just elope. About 2 weeks later her father told me pretty much the same thing. Now I'm thinking "good god, 15k free and clear to elope... I'm down with that". Couldn't talk her into it though. She wanted a church wedding with family & friends. I eventually gave in.



Usually, the woman's wants the fist marriage to be expensive and showy. If a woman has a second (more more) wedding, they might consider a cheap courthouse wedding.

 

[Astro14]

I plan to give my 2 daughters each a check - your money, your budget, your choices...but this is it. No more cash beyond this amount. Buy a dress, rent whatever, pay for whatever for whomever you like...or keep it and start your new life...or balance the two...when the $$ come from their pockets, they get spent a little differently.

 

[xxch4osxx]

"I blame women's magazines for the downfall of the American nation. All that comes from them is women who think they deserve anything they can dream of. Men are just a way to get what they want and being the biggest female dog they can be is to be aspired to, acceptable and desirable. They gobble it up and now society is infected with "more more more, it's all about ME ME ME."

I completely agree with this!

 

[javacontour]

For women it's romance novels, rom-coms and the women's magazines. For men it's different varieties of porn.

There is no shortage of material leading both genders to have unrealistic expectations.

The is no moral high ground here based on gender.

Originally Posted By: xxch4osxx
"I blame women's magazines for the downfall of the American nation. All that comes from them is women who think they deserve anything they can dream of. Men are just a way to get what they want and being the biggest female dog they can be is to be aspired to, acceptable and desirable. They gobble it up and now society is infected with "more more more, it's all about ME ME ME."

I completely agree with this!

 

[Vikas]

We had way less than thousand guests at our wedding. If you want to see some extravagant weddings, watch some bollywood movies!

 

[Jarlaxle]

Mine was pretty simple...exactly 5 people at the actual wedding, which was done in a park: Liz, me, our closest friends, and the judge doing the ceremony. There was a reception later at a Legion hall...catered, no open bar, maybe...forty people? My friend's brother is a DJ and handled music. We did write our own vows. Mine were nothing special ("love, respect, honor, and cherish")...hers were fairly standard, except for the end: "To the man that I love, the one who saved my soul: I give you my thanks and I pledge to you my life." My wedding band is inscribed, "YOU SAVED MY SOUL." (Hers is inscribed "MY REASON FOR LIVING.)

 

[grampi]

These weddings that cost thousands of $$$ are ridiculous! It's a complete waste of money. Most young couples start out broke. Wouldn't it make more sense to spend that money on something that can actually help them get their feet on the ground?

 

[SteveSRT8]

Originally Posted By: grampi
These weddings that cost thousands of $$$ are ridiculous! It's a complete waste of money. Most young couples start out broke. Wouldn't it make more sense to spend that money on something that can actually help them get their feet on the ground?


I am so in agreement here. My son married a girl whose parents took out a loan to throw a HUGE wedding! When I suggested we pitch in some money together and give it directly for the purchase of a home or something 'real' I was mocked as a spendthrift.

I think they are still paying it off...

 

[andyd]

Have a small wedding of family and friends. Instead of presents get cash for a down payment on a house. Get a start. Don't throw a potlatch.