I guess an update is due. One of the desired functions was AWD or 4x4, to avoid buying a 2nd vehicle for off-the-pavement stuff. 14MPG doesn't scare my friend. He'd "much rather have a 14MPG Armada that stays on the road, than a 25MPG van that chews out transmissions left and right and sits in the shop. Cheaper in the long run."
His words, not mine. That being said - some minivans (with known reliable drivetrains) did make it on the list. Search goes on, so far 2011+ Odyssey seems to have their attention. He's lurking at this thread occasionally and thanks everyone for the input.