Everything happens for a reason... ?

[alcyon]

Human's tend to think we really matter as individuals in this vast universe. Everything that happens has to be about us.
That's why we believe in a man in the sky who watches our every move and cares for us.
Reality dictates otherwise. All it takes is one big meteor or comet and poof we are all extinct.

 

[Vuflanovsky]

Personally, if spoken by a friend or associate, I'd view it as sympathetic whether you think they're a dumb*** for saying it or not...so I make the effort to look at it in that context first.

It's much preferable to saying "Yeah, things really f***ed you this time"...and if I was truly sympathetic to someone that I care about, it might come out as a variation of "happening for a reason", but I'd hope they wouldn't hold it against me because I probably value their friendship more than pre-dissecting how intelligent "Everything happens for a reason" is or a variation thereof....

 

[Leo99]

The human is just not wired for randomness. Being able to discern cause and effect makes us smarter and better adapted to survive. When random things happen, people struggle to find a reason.

I recommend Shermer's excellent book, The Believing Brain.

 

[uc50ic4more]

I think a lot of people confuse "Everything happens for a reason" with "Everything happens because of a reason" and/ or "Everything happens for a purpose". The former two are close enough, in my mind, to be common sense: All perceived phenomena in the world occur because of causes and conditions, and are subject to our largely subjective observation in order to separate them mentally as distinct phenomena. The latter just seems ego-centric to me; infused with the implication that phenomena occur in order to impress upon one's life.

 

[SumpChump]

Originally Posted By: uc50ic4more
I think a lot of people confuse "Everything happens for a reason" with "Everything happens because of a reason" and/ or "Everything happens for a purpose". The former two are close enough, in my mind, to be common sense: All perceived phenomena in the world occur because of causes and conditions, and are subject to our largely subjective observation in order to separate them mentally as distinct phenomena. The latter just seems ego-centric to me; infused with the implication that phenomena occur in order to impress upon one's life.


Agreed. We are awefully egocentric arent we.

And it see as a curious benfit we percieve we've earned. After all, we "rule the Earth"...the "smartest creature". And thus the slippery slope of ego centrism.

 

[JHZR2]

I don't really need to think anything. For all those who wish to judge someone who says that, I find that as silly as using the phrase...

As others said, it's a platitude of sorts, and if it is something that is just the first thing to blurt out, or was something that stuck in their head from someone they knew long ago, etc., who cares?

I'll determine if a person is an idiot or not, or worth knowing or not, or worth doing business/social/other functions or not, in no way by such a silly indicator.

 

[daves87rs]

Life is crazy.....sometimes it is really for a reason.....

can't say poor choices when-

-Been laid off numerous times

-wedding WAS the weekend of Sept 11th

-nearly killed by a crazy driver


I'm by no means a perfect....and I never judge-you just never know! I would have had neverbeen shaped to be who I was if certain things happened..most out of my control...


Believe what you want....little did I know the girl (classmate) I gave my coat to to keep warm would end up my wife....


Life is crazy....not everything can be explained..



Bottom line-it can be used for both the bad and good things in life.....

 

[daves87rs]

Originally Posted By: JHZR2
I don't really need to think anything. For all those who wish to judge someone who says that, I find that as silly as using the phrase...

As others said, it's a platitude of sorts, and if it is something that is just the first thing to blurt out, or was something that stuck in their head from someone they knew long ago, etc., who cares?

I'll determine if a person is an idiot or not, or worth knowing or not, or worth doing business/social/other functions or not, in no way by such a silly indicator.




Agreed....can't always judge a book by it's cover..

 

[daves87rs]

Originally Posted By: PandaBear
To me it means someone says "because someone screwed up".



The only case that would have happened in my life- when the guy hit my car with his...

 

[Garak]

Originally Posted By: Kestas
It's just a hollow statement, like "It is what it is," uttered by people who like to hear themselves talk.

That's better than my trademarked, "Suck it up and quit whining," isn't it?

 

[turtlevette]

What they really mean is everything happens to other people for a reason.

 

[ZeeOSix]

You won't know if things in your life "happened for a reason" until you die.

 

[Warstud]

How about Gods Plan.

 

[Al]

When you step in front of a moving train..there will be a reason you are killed.

 

[supton]

I'm quite religious but the saying bugs me. If I wanted someone to explain the "why" behind something I would have asked for it; otherwise, if I state such-and-such happened, then I'm simply... mentioning it.

Quite frankly, I'm not interested in talking to strangers about such things in my own life--and since I try to treat others like I'd like to be treated, I'm not about to give such a condescending flippant response like this. If I care about the person I'll express sympathy, and if they are actually close then perhaps I'll be willing to engage in actual reasons; but odds are, I'll leave that up to the person, especially if they didn't ask for it.

 

[Andrew1972]

Disagree.

However it makes people feel better about things they cannot control. If you are religious you make it out that your favorite diety has something to do with it.

 

[javacontour]

Of course everything happens for a reason. That reason may or may not have to do with the person on the receiving end of the event.

If a meteor crashes into my house, there is a reason that happened. The reason is my house was in the path of the meteor.

Sometimes the reason is you are a moron. I.E. the person who is arrested because they called 911 to complain they didn't get 20 McNuggets in their 20-pack.

Sometimes the reason is you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time like the meteor example above.

It's often a meaningless statement. Of course everything happens for a reason. The real issue is could you have prevented it or is there something to learn from the experience?

Originally Posted By: Mr Nice
What do BITOG members think when a person says:
"Everything happens for a reason..."

99% of the time something bad happened and the person will use this phrase.
Job layoff, illness, divorce, personal problems, bad luck, accident, being at the wrong place at the wrong time (Sept 11, 2001), bad karma, ....etc...

Do you agree or disagree ?

 

[Mr Nice]

javacontour,

Didn't you have cancer a while back (I may have mistaken you for another person) ?

Another person in the same situation might think they were put in that position to make them stronger: physically, mentally , emotionally, spiritually, relationship with spouse, etc... after the cancer was defeated. And if they can beat cancer.... no temporary roadblock in life (divorce, job layoff, tornado destroying house, etc...) can set them back.

 

[Phishin]

I agree with everyone's non-religious, "this saying is so dumb", take on the phrase.

I used to think this way as well.

Then some things happened in my life, and I came to believe that "nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God's world by mistake."

I didn't just decide to believe such an idea. I'm not that kind of guy. I'm a scientifically trained nerd. But enough things happened in my life, EACH of them extremely rare "coincidences", that if you string them together, I could have hit the lottery 2 or 3 times with those odds.

I really would have been an "idiot", a pompous fool, to not believe that some kind of Higher Power wasn't behind this all.

Now that I have had my eyes opened by these experiences, I enjoy my daily existence as I keep an eye out for such "coincidences". It may sound strange to many, and it would have been pure 100% [censored] if I would have heard such things earlier in my life.

But as me and buddies say: You have to live it to believe it.

 

[javacontour]

Yep,

22 year survivor.

I have faith. But it's not my role or pay grade to judge if God or other made something happen.

I think of the story of Job. I do believe things happen for reasons. I simply don't believe we can know in every case.

When you read the account in Job, his friends were at their best when they simply sat and mourned with him. They were at their worst when they tried to find reasons for what happened.

The take-away is regardless what you think "caused" the circumstance, your best course of action is to simply be there for them while they go through it.

Originally Posted By: Mr Nice
javacontour,

Didn't you have cancer a while back (I may have mistaken you for another person) ?

Another person in the same situation might think they were put in that position to make them stronger: physically, mentally , emotionally, spiritually, relationship with spouse, etc... after the cancer was defeated. And if they can beat cancer.... no temporary roadblock in life (divorce, job layoff, tornado destroying house, etc...) can set them back.