Yep Deven I get that too.. I look great one day and 2 days later I'm really in bad shape. Very hard for people to wrap their minds around.
In 2000 I went from being able to dunk a basketball with ease to barely able to walk 2 days later. Then 4 days after that I could run and dunk a basketball with ease again. All with a week that happened. Most impressive thing I've done playing sports.... Shooting 90% from foul line with a totally blind left eye right after I got out if hospital. I also shot just about 70% from behind 3 PT line that day too.
I had started playing volleyball about 7 months prior to going completely blind in my left eye. So I had to learn how to play with one eye. I also became the most popular person for the other teams to serve the ball to right after losing my sight in my left eye. I struggled mightily passing the serve. It really upset me a bit at first. Then I realized, "well you are out here so you gotta buck up and not let it bother you". Well, over the next month's I learned again how to play the ball much better when being served at or having the ball hit my way. The following spring I was playing very well and I had gotten a very good team together. We dominated the league with a 20-4 regular season record and won the post season tournament. It felt AWESOME pounding the ball off those other people and teams. I had gotten my pay back on them for sure. No mercy granted to me by them and I didn't give them any mercy either. And they couldn't stop me at all. Redemption was sweet
I had a fear of getting hit in the face with the volleyball after my vision loss in my left eye. Well, I was cured of that fear in a strange way. My friend Chris who hit the ball a TON... Drilled me in the face with the ball while I was attempting to block him at the net. Well, I jumped quite well and my head being well above the 8 foot tape of the net he hit the ball and it hit me right in my face. I blacked out, saw stars and collapsed on the ground. Came to right away. Scared a bit, eye watering a lot... I could see just fine. He's asking if I'm all right.. Which my reply was, " ahh yeah, that just hurt like all get out and it scared me a bit". His answer he said laughing, " dude...you jump so high you need to close your arms up and cover your face or your going to get killed". To which I started laughing answering, " yeah that sounds like a good idea". In that moment I realized that getting hit that hard and it didn't hurt my good eye I didn't need to be fearful of that anymore.
I played in a number of very high level volleyball leagues in the area and played at a very high level myself. No one on those other teams would've ever known I had anything wrong with me. Only some of my friends knew about my illness. They were times to where it did give me a hard time while trying to play. But very seldom as a rule.
I realize that everyday that I can go to work that's its a good day. I'm very fortunate to be able to help take care of people. I try my hardest to let them know that I know what it's like to deal with hard issues. I have shared with patients my story of dealing with severe depression. I remember telling one lady my real deal story to. This lady was a 1 to 1 patient which means she was a suicide watch patient. She was very, very nice. I broke down and told her my life experience. It was a wonderful experience in sharing this with her. I had the CNA in the room watching her in tears as I told her my story. I got in tears a bit too for the record. But... It was worth it. It greatly helped this lady who needed help/hope. That's what she needed. She needed me to be honest, open, and caring to her. She needed and deserved all I had to give. I will do that for anyone. I don't operate out of a higher level to where I'm above my patients. I am on level ground with them. I give them all that is within me because they are worthy of it. Everyone is someone. Someone's mother, father, brother, sister and so on. I want them to know that I will treat them like they are my own... Because, they are.
Qwerty... I spoke with a lady one time who had severe addiction to drugs one time... I took a long time with her to lay it all out there for her. She was wanting to leave against medical advice or AMA. I shared with her a lot of very serious stuff. I managed to keep her in the hospital that night. What she needed.... Was honesty, candor, hope, and care. I hope I gave that to her. With you.... Search out people who give you that. Search out people who raise you up, raise the bar, bring out the best in you, search out those who love/care for you enough to tell you the real truth even if it hurts, search out those who have overcome, those people who have a good purpose. By doing this.... You can and will be who you can be, need to be and really are in your heart of hearts.
