My thoughts on your quest ...
- keep your hand off the shifter when not actively shifting; whether you believe it or not, the weight of your hand over long periods of time can cause excess wear on the internal bushings, etc. Simply put, the shifter is for shifting; it's not a place to rest your hand.
- No oil is going to dampen the vibrations to any measurable degree better than another; I seriously doubt there is any lube that could quantifiably offer any difference if the same grade is used (GL-4; 75w-90).
- in theory, you'd want a thicker lube, which is ironic, because most folks (myself included) want a thinner lube for quicker shifting and more reliable synchro action
The first point is not something well-understood by most people, and is a very likely cause of accelerated wear (and sloppiness/vagueness) or early failures. The shifter knob should be treated as a "hands off!" location except when actually changing gears.