Parental Barging

[Mr Nice]

sleddriver,

How much money was given to your niece ?

I'd definitely have a face to face talk with your brother..... and keep her out of this mess.

 

[DBMaster]

My daughter was in the top bracket of her class and earned various scholarships/grants for Texas A&M. I still spent the entire college fund I had ($25,000) plus the fund my dad had set up for her ($15,000) for her engineering degree. When I went to state college in Texas in the 80s the state was still covering much of the bill (back when Texas actually gave a carp about its citizens and not just business interests) and my most expensive bill from UT Arlington was under $500. I was still often on the hook for $5,000 per semester for A&M during the 2011-2015 time period.

In other words, if your brother really does earmark the money for school it will be gone in an instant.

 

[Win]

Quote:
...This wasn't a large amount of money, less than a couple of grand. ...


My experience is that there are often unintended consequences associated with family spats spilling over into the courts.

Since you characterize the sum of money involved as not a large amount, then I would just regift her the money directly, assuming it won't cause you an undue financial hardship, and handle the next nephew differently, as you have already said that you will.

You are the only one who knows the full facts / history about the relationship of all the family members, but I personally wouldn't get involved in a legal spat with a family member over this. Not worth it.

edit: assuming you did want to make it a legal issue - it may be that only the niece has standing. There is a thing in some states called the family immunity doctrine that you should look into, or discuss with your lawyer, if Texas has it.

 

[NormanBuntz]

Was this account a UGMA account using the niece's mailing address or using your address? With you being the trustee or custodian, it should have been registered at YOUR address as the contributor. If the check was mailed to HER address and was made out in YOUR name and HER name, there lies your violations, both local and federal.

Federal would be theft of U.S. mail (felony) or obstruction of correspondence (misdemeanor). Tell your bro you can file a mail theft complaint with the U.S. Postal Inspectors.

Local would be forgery, uttering, grand larceny and/or and obtaining money under false pretenses.

 

[sleddriver]

My experience with the legal system is that it's much like a meat grinder: Everything comes out hamburger...and expensive hamburger at that. However people are not all reasonable, nor 'above board'.

I expressed to her it was my intention the funds were given to her. Since she didn't receive them, now it's between her & her parents. After all, she's of age. I did make a point she would be wise to consider she was left out of decision of its use as it was made without her permission. Rather, she was told how it would be spent.

Point being she's no longer a minor, the funds were a gift from a relative, and the decision is hers. Seems only fair.

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished.....

 

[sleddriver]

It was to her parents. Definitely should have been mine however in hindsight.

I don't think I was neither trustee or custodian. The financial institution was. However these are legal terms and I'm not a lawyer.

Re: U.S. Mail system. Here's an interesting story shedding a bit of light into his past behavior decades ago now. I sent him a b-day card along with a note regarding some dispute at the time. A week or so later, it was returned to me marked "Addressee refuses delivery. Return to Sender". When querried about this over the phone and pressed, he admitted to steaming open the envelope, reading the contents, then resealing it, marking it as above and sending it back to me.

I informed him that sounds like mail fraud.

He has a long list of such poor, pathetic behavior that would be royally embarrassing, shaming and humiliating if his friends and associates knew about it.

The only reason I had anything to do with him (and his wife) is because of the kids. We had great fun when I visited. They're now off at school and one is working.

 

[fdcg27]

Originally Posted By: Cujet
In other news, when children receive presents, such as during a holiday "presents for poor children program" , parents are very likely to return the presents for money. To prevent this, bar codes are often removed. If a child receives money for a particular present, from such a program, upwards of 80% of parents simply keep the money.

But before you get wrapped around the axle with the presents for the poor thing, middle class and wealthy parents do the very same things.

It's good to understand human nature, and adjust your plans accordingly.


I think that we all know that some parents will steal from their own children.
This is not forgivable in my book.
One's children expect love and protection from their parents, not petty theft.
Anyone who needs to steal from his children, as the OP's brother did, needs either to get a job and work for a living or to adjust his spending habits to bring them in line with his income.