General questions for those whose senior parents divorced

[JeffKeryk]

However I would never put one in an old folk home and take in the other. That’s just so cruel. In general, the western culture is very cruel to the older people, most seem to want them to just die.

So sad and so true. My home care giver, Mani, used to tell me most children almost never come to visit and help their folks. And when they do, they stay maybe an hour, then "Got something to do; Bye!" and take off. It's BS.

 

[02SE]

My folks wanted to stay in their own home, so I found a way to make that happen. My Dad was temporarily in three SNiF's (Skilled Nursing Facilities) in his last years, for various reasons. As with anywhere, you find people who truly care about their fellow man, and others who are just in it for the paycheck. The last Skilled Nursing Facility he was in, I'd call twice a day to check on how he was doing. At night it was very difficult to get anyone on the phone as there was only a Nurse, a CNA, and an assistant, for 60 patients. I was told that was the Medicare mandatory minimum staffing level.

After about a week of calling, one particular night Nurse gave me her own personal cellphone number, so at least on the nights she was working, I could get an update. After a couple weeks of getting updates, I thanked her for letting me contact her directly, and asked if she did that for family of all the other patients. She said she didn't, but only because I was the only family member of a patient who would call for updates. In talking to other healthcare professionals during various hospital stays, or home healthcare nurses over the years, I found out this level of apathy and indifference towards parents is very common.

I truly don't understand it.

 

[AutoMechanic]

My parents aren’t divorced but I’m surprised honestly after some of the stuff I’ve seen though lol. You can probably consider them seniors haha one is 63 the other is 55. Personally I’d take care of both of them because I love them both regardless. My sister probably wouldn’t take care of either one definitely not my mom she might take care of my dad though. Everyone always tells me that I seem like one that would take care of their dad when they get old because I’m always seen with my dad as mom won’t ever come in anywhere except restaurants and Walmart lol. But with everything both of them have done for me I’d take care of both in a heartbeat.

 

[PandaBear]

My parents aren’t divorced but I’m surprised honestly after some of the stuff I’ve seen though lol. You can probably consider them seniors haha one is 63 the other is 55. Personally I’d take care of both of them because I love them both regardless. My sister probably wouldn’t take care of either one definitely not my mom she might take care of my dad though. Everyone always tells me that I seem like one that would take care of their dad when they get old because I’m always seen with my dad as mom won’t ever come in anywhere except restaurants and Walmart lol. But with everything both of them have done for me I’d take care of both in a heartbeat.

I think 55 is not old at all, to me unless they have some serious health condition I wouldn't take care of a 55 year old adult, or even 65. My parents are 74 / 75 and they are still working (managing apartments) where as my inlaw at 75 and 78 are hitting early stage dementia as they haven't worked in 20 years (way too early IMO, especially as they have not saved up enough for retirement). FIL was taking care of his mom in wheelchair and dementia but I can see that as a huge mental drain for him.

 

[wpod]

My parents fen me changed my diapers and till their deaths were there for me. A offered them a place as the got old but they were too independent to, burden me. I really miss my parents and grand parents.