Astro14, Sir,
You are something! (in a good way)
You are something! (in a good way)
Motor oil madman's thread.
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MOM,
How about this:
step 1.
-this weekend, cleanup, dress comfortably and go out: enjoy a movie, see a theater/musical, just go to a mall food court, eat something slowly and enjoy the view.
The main thing is you don't have to look creepy or needy.
Just relax, take your time and enjoy the view.
Get this done then we can get to step 2.
How about this:
step 1.
-this weekend, cleanup, dress comfortably and go out: enjoy a movie, see a theater/musical, just go to a mall food court, eat something slowly and enjoy the view.
The main thing is you don't have to look creepy or needy.
Just relax, take your time and enjoy the view.
Get this done then we can get to step 2.
Originally Posted By: Ifixyawata
Best way to get a thread locked is to discuss a locked thread.
It's like Fight Club.
Fight club. Insanity. Hmmm....
Best way to get a thread locked is to discuss a locked thread.
It's like Fight Club.
Fight club. Insanity. Hmmm....
Originally Posted By: Astro14
Originally Posted By: pandus13
Originally Posted By: Astro14
It appears to be unlocked now, but honestly, reading it is painful...
Astro,
If a guy like that would be in your unit/under your command, what would you do?
I'm sure you had your fair share of sparky/no-clue young guys.
And of already mature/feet on the ground young guys.
Thank you.
It's painful for several reasons - principally because the OP (MOM) doesn't understand why he isn't meeting with success, but the comments aren't exactly easy to read either.
I've had many sailors, some officers, with personal issues.
The challenge for a CO is the balance: the privacy of the member vs. the impact on the command.
If a subordinate had personal issues, of the kind that MOM is describing, I would first verify what I am hearing via the chain of command and, if appropriate, the senior enlisted leader. I would want to know the nature of the personal problem, and the impact on the command. If I felt that intervention was appropriate, then I would begin by assigning a mentor (a step up in rank, not in a supervisory position, but trusted and experienced) to help the person.
Again, in the military, impact on mission is important, but so is the individual's privacy (note that MOM has waived that concern with posting in front of thousands...). If the personal problem has crossed the line into criminality (petty theft, etc.) then we have a whole different set of concerns and processes. But for things like alcohol abuse (which hasn't resulted in criminal action), we intervene, for the good of the person, and the good of the service.
I saw a great many sailors with personal financial issues. We assigned that mentor, made financial counselors (employed by the USN for this express purpose) available,
For a problem like MOM - "not able to date successfully" - I would leave it alone, unless and until, it affected the person's job performance, then it becomes a command issue - and since it's so deeply personal, I would direct them towards the many counseling services outside the command, Fleet & Family Services, chaplain, etc.
I'm always willing to listen, and I have personally intervened in many instances to provide assistance and guidance myself* but I cannot mentor/guide hundreds of people simultaneously, that gets delegated to appropriate, skilled, folks at a level of rank and relationship to provide for the best balance of privacy and success.
*I've lost count of the counseling/mentoring sessions in my office. Issues ranged from financial, to career, to deeply personal. Sometimes it's just a chat, sometimes, formal paperwork was involved. Really depended on the circumstances.
Look, I want people to succeed. I want them to be happy and fulfilled in their service and in their personal lives. Sometimes, all that is needed is for them to realize that hope is not lost, that the folks for whom they work care about them, and that they have options/resources to help them fix their problem. You would be surprised how many people go through their daily lives thinking that all is lost and no one cares.
But I'm outside my area of expertise with MOM. I'm no expert on women, or dating. I was lucky to meet Mrs. Astro (who's a retired USN Captain now, and a babe, by the way). I've got no advice, beyond what's already been said, for him.
I will simply say that I wish you luck, Motor Oil Madman. I am among the many here who would like you to be successful.
Let me add that I feel that way about several members, present and former, who posted all sorts of personal problems here on BITOG. Some notorious, some banned. I would like to see them be successful in their lives. If they worked for me, then I would have more means at my disposal to help with that wish. But I'm retired from the USN now, no longer in a position of authority, and posting on an internet oil forum doesn't seem particularly effective...
Hands down one of the best responses I have ever read, and with that - I agree with you.
I truly believe in helping others, more so in times like these....
Originally Posted By: pandus13
Originally Posted By: Astro14
It appears to be unlocked now, but honestly, reading it is painful...
Astro,
If a guy like that would be in your unit/under your command, what would you do?
I'm sure you had your fair share of sparky/no-clue young guys.
And of already mature/feet on the ground young guys.
Thank you.
It's painful for several reasons - principally because the OP (MOM) doesn't understand why he isn't meeting with success, but the comments aren't exactly easy to read either.
I've had many sailors, some officers, with personal issues.
The challenge for a CO is the balance: the privacy of the member vs. the impact on the command.
If a subordinate had personal issues, of the kind that MOM is describing, I would first verify what I am hearing via the chain of command and, if appropriate, the senior enlisted leader. I would want to know the nature of the personal problem, and the impact on the command. If I felt that intervention was appropriate, then I would begin by assigning a mentor (a step up in rank, not in a supervisory position, but trusted and experienced) to help the person.
Again, in the military, impact on mission is important, but so is the individual's privacy (note that MOM has waived that concern with posting in front of thousands...). If the personal problem has crossed the line into criminality (petty theft, etc.) then we have a whole different set of concerns and processes. But for things like alcohol abuse (which hasn't resulted in criminal action), we intervene, for the good of the person, and the good of the service.
I saw a great many sailors with personal financial issues. We assigned that mentor, made financial counselors (employed by the USN for this express purpose) available,
For a problem like MOM - "not able to date successfully" - I would leave it alone, unless and until, it affected the person's job performance, then it becomes a command issue - and since it's so deeply personal, I would direct them towards the many counseling services outside the command, Fleet & Family Services, chaplain, etc.
I'm always willing to listen, and I have personally intervened in many instances to provide assistance and guidance myself* but I cannot mentor/guide hundreds of people simultaneously, that gets delegated to appropriate, skilled, folks at a level of rank and relationship to provide for the best balance of privacy and success.
*I've lost count of the counseling/mentoring sessions in my office. Issues ranged from financial, to career, to deeply personal. Sometimes it's just a chat, sometimes, formal paperwork was involved. Really depended on the circumstances.
Look, I want people to succeed. I want them to be happy and fulfilled in their service and in their personal lives. Sometimes, all that is needed is for them to realize that hope is not lost, that the folks for whom they work care about them, and that they have options/resources to help them fix their problem. You would be surprised how many people go through their daily lives thinking that all is lost and no one cares.
But I'm outside my area of expertise with MOM. I'm no expert on women, or dating. I was lucky to meet Mrs. Astro (who's a retired USN Captain now, and a babe, by the way). I've got no advice, beyond what's already been said, for him.
I will simply say that I wish you luck, Motor Oil Madman. I am among the many here who would like you to be successful.
Let me add that I feel that way about several members, present and former, who posted all sorts of personal problems here on BITOG. Some notorious, some banned. I would like to see them be successful in their lives. If they worked for me, then I would have more means at my disposal to help with that wish. But I'm retired from the USN now, no longer in a position of authority, and posting on an internet oil forum doesn't seem particularly effective...
Hands down one of the best responses I have ever read, and with that - I agree with you.
I truly believe in helping others, more so in times like these....
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