Funny, she has not called me lately ...
Motor oil madman's thread.
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In case the madman is still looking for advice: Avoid sites like eHarmony and Match.
Since they are subscription based services, and men largely make up their revenue base, they hire women to maintain a presence on these sites as eligible singles, but they are basically decoys or bots. These companies collect enough data to know when you are thinking about cancelling your service and they'll have one of their decoy women reach out to you and string you along so that you don't cancel.
Since they are subscription based services, and men largely make up their revenue base, they hire women to maintain a presence on these sites as eligible singles, but they are basically decoys or bots. These companies collect enough data to know when you are thinking about cancelling your service and they'll have one of their decoy women reach out to you and string you along so that you don't cancel.
What about the traditional old school way of meeting women in person ?
Ask them out for lunch or coffee...
Ask them out for lunch or coffee...
Why not PM the mods and ask??
We're supposed to be talking about motor oil and nothing but motor oil. No off topic for you!
Originally Posted By: motor_oil_madman
Yeah I guess they deserve the right to do so. Oh well. Maybe I'll make my own forum. Motor_oil_madman.com
Start it. I'll join.
I mean, if threads are closed and hidden because a mod doesn't like the topic, why even HAVE an off topic forum in the first place?
Yeah I guess they deserve the right to do so. Oh well. Maybe I'll make my own forum. Motor_oil_madman.com
Start it. I'll join.
I mean, if threads are closed and hidden because a mod doesn't like the topic, why even HAVE an off topic forum in the first place?
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Originally Posted By: motor_oil_madman
Yeah I guess they deserve the right to do so. Oh well. Maybe I'll make my own forum. Motor_oil_madman.com
I think this is the answer right here...if you don't like how you are treated on BITOG, go elsewhere or start your own forum.
I had issues with a mod on a baseball forum and basically look at it about once a month now, if that, and I can't say I really miss it. That mod hassled me because I was a Red Sox fan, just like between 1/3 and 1/2 of the active posters at that time...the place is nearly dead now. He was an Indians guy and that made the Cubs' improbably comeback against them in the '16 WS that much sweeter... ;^)
Eh, I'm exaggerating, I didn't even think of him until months later. But, his behavior illustrated the problem with having a partisan mod on an inherently partisan website.
Yeah I guess they deserve the right to do so. Oh well. Maybe I'll make my own forum. Motor_oil_madman.com
I think this is the answer right here...if you don't like how you are treated on BITOG, go elsewhere or start your own forum.
I had issues with a mod on a baseball forum and basically look at it about once a month now, if that, and I can't say I really miss it. That mod hassled me because I was a Red Sox fan, just like between 1/3 and 1/2 of the active posters at that time...the place is nearly dead now. He was an Indians guy and that made the Cubs' improbably comeback against them in the '16 WS that much sweeter... ;^)
Eh, I'm exaggerating, I didn't even think of him until months later. But, his behavior illustrated the problem with having a partisan mod on an inherently partisan website.
At least could of said why it was locked.
Regarding dating, women wont come to you if you dont make a move. Everyone saying meet people in person or out is not wrong but meeting online is how most people look for others today. Embrace it, yes there are bots on many sites but still. Keep looking and good luck sir
Regarding dating, women wont come to you if you dont make a move. Everyone saying meet people in person or out is not wrong but meeting online is how most people look for others today. Embrace it, yes there are bots on many sites but still. Keep looking and good luck sir
Meanwhile, back at the headwaters.......
OP said, "I would like a personal phone conversation with both the owner and the administrator of this website, along with an apology."
Anybody who could say this (the wanting an apology angle) sounds harrumphy and foolish.
Wanting an apology??...what are you, the Secretary of State of some country 150 years ago?
What are you going to do?...start a fight with someone?
You sound a little self important and your feathers are too easily ruffled.
Maybe it's good you're not with anyone or procreating.
Also, there's not enough bandwidth on a thread to assess your condition. Your looks, your swagger, the stuff you talk about, the stuff you react to, the TV stations you land on; the list is endless.
Try DOING something constructive with someone....focus on the task. Scrape the fung off your teeth, comb your hair.
Do you parrot political radio. Do you say the same things over and over?
OP said, "I would like a personal phone conversation with both the owner and the administrator of this website, along with an apology."
Anybody who could say this (the wanting an apology angle) sounds harrumphy and foolish.
Wanting an apology??...what are you, the Secretary of State of some country 150 years ago?
What are you going to do?...start a fight with someone?
You sound a little self important and your feathers are too easily ruffled.
Maybe it's good you're not with anyone or procreating.
Also, there's not enough bandwidth on a thread to assess your condition. Your looks, your swagger, the stuff you talk about, the stuff you react to, the TV stations you land on; the list is endless.
Try DOING something constructive with someone....focus on the task. Scrape the fung off your teeth, comb your hair.
Do you parrot political radio. Do you say the same things over and over?
Maybe it was me. I was told to watch my language.
I wasn't trying to get around the censor. I still stick by that word as an apt description of what not to be.
I wasn't trying to get around the censor. I still stick by that word as an apt description of what not to be.
Best way to get a thread locked is to discuss a locked thread.
It's like Fight Club.
It's like Fight Club.
Motor Oil Madman,
I don't think it was you. I re-read the thread and there is a post missing, and it wasn't one of yours.
I don't think it was you. I re-read the thread and there is a post missing, and it wasn't one of yours.
It appears to be unlocked now, but honestly, reading it is painful...
Originally Posted By: Astro14
It appears to be unlocked now, but honestly, reading it is painful...
Astro,
If a guy like that would be in your unit/under your command, what would you do?
I'm sure you had your fair share of sparky/no-clue young guys.
And of already mature/feet on the ground young guys.
Thank you.
It appears to be unlocked now, but honestly, reading it is painful...
Astro,
If a guy like that would be in your unit/under your command, what would you do?
I'm sure you had your fair share of sparky/no-clue young guys.
And of already mature/feet on the ground young guys.
Thank you.
The forum allows you to look up all the threads started by somebody. You can look at the topics and the time they were created. See if you notice anything odd about them.
Somebody who goes through one of the most gut wrenching situation in real life and then in less than a week starts creating new topics about inane stuff?
Somebody who goes through one of the most gut wrenching situation in real life and then in less than a week starts creating new topics about inane stuff?
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Originally Posted By: pandus13
Originally Posted By: Astro14
It appears to be unlocked now, but honestly, reading it is painful...
Astro,
If a guy like that would be in your unit/under your command, what would you do?
I'm sure you had your fair share of sparky/no-clue young guys.
And of already mature/feet on the ground young guys.
Thank you.
It's painful for several reasons - principally because the OP (MOM) doesn't understand why he isn't meeting with success, but the comments aren't exactly easy to read either.
I've had many sailors, some officers, with personal issues.
The challenge for a CO is the balance: the privacy of the member vs. the impact on the command.
If a subordinate had personal issues, of the kind that MOM is describing, I would first verify what I am hearing via the chain of command and, if appropriate, the senior enlisted leader. I would want to know the nature of the personal problem, and the impact on the command. If I felt that intervention was appropriate, then I would begin by assigning a mentor (a step up in rank, not in a supervisory position, but trusted and experienced) to help the person.
Again, in the military, impact on mission is important, but so is the individual's privacy (note that MOM has waived that concern with posting in front of thousands...). If the personal problem has crossed the line into criminality (petty theft, etc.) then we have a whole different set of concerns and processes. But for things like alcohol abuse (which hasn't resulted in criminal action), we intervene, for the good of the person, and the good of the service.
I saw a great many sailors with personal financial issues. We assigned that mentor, made financial counselors (employed by the USN for this express purpose) available,
For a problem like MOM - "not able to date successfully" - I would leave it alone, unless and until, it affected the person's job performance, then it becomes a command issue - and since it's so deeply personal, I would direct them towards the many counseling services outside the command, Fleet & Family Services, chaplain, etc.
I'm always willing to listen, and I have personally intervened in many instances to provide assistance and guidance myself* but I cannot mentor/guide hundreds of people simultaneously, that gets delegated to appropriate, skilled, folks at a level of rank and relationship to provide for the best balance of privacy and success.
*I've lost count of the counseling/mentoring sessions in my office. Issues ranged from financial, to career, to deeply personal. Sometimes it's just a chat, sometimes, formal paperwork was involved. Really depended on the circumstances.
Look, I want people to succeed. I want them to be happy and fulfilled in their service and in their personal lives. Sometimes, all that is needed is for them to realize that hope is not lost, that the folks for whom they work care about them, and that they have options/resources to help them fix their problem. You would be surprised how many people go through their daily lives thinking that all is lost and no one cares.
But I'm outside my area of expertise with MOM. I'm no expert on women, or dating. I was lucky to meet Mrs. Astro (who's a retired USN Captain now, and a babe, by the way). I've got no advice, beyond what's already been said, for him.
I will simply say that I wish you luck, Motor Oil Madman. I am among the many here who would like you to be successful.
Let me add that I feel that way about several members, present and former, who posted all sorts of personal problems here on BITOG. Some notorious, some banned. I would like to see them be successful in their lives. If they worked for me, then I would have more means at my disposal to help with that wish. But I'm retired from the USN now, no longer in a position of authority, and posting on an internet oil forum doesn't seem particularly effective...
Originally Posted By: Astro14
It appears to be unlocked now, but honestly, reading it is painful...
Astro,
If a guy like that would be in your unit/under your command, what would you do?
I'm sure you had your fair share of sparky/no-clue young guys.
And of already mature/feet on the ground young guys.
Thank you.
It's painful for several reasons - principally because the OP (MOM) doesn't understand why he isn't meeting with success, but the comments aren't exactly easy to read either.
I've had many sailors, some officers, with personal issues.
The challenge for a CO is the balance: the privacy of the member vs. the impact on the command.
If a subordinate had personal issues, of the kind that MOM is describing, I would first verify what I am hearing via the chain of command and, if appropriate, the senior enlisted leader. I would want to know the nature of the personal problem, and the impact on the command. If I felt that intervention was appropriate, then I would begin by assigning a mentor (a step up in rank, not in a supervisory position, but trusted and experienced) to help the person.
Again, in the military, impact on mission is important, but so is the individual's privacy (note that MOM has waived that concern with posting in front of thousands...). If the personal problem has crossed the line into criminality (petty theft, etc.) then we have a whole different set of concerns and processes. But for things like alcohol abuse (which hasn't resulted in criminal action), we intervene, for the good of the person, and the good of the service.
I saw a great many sailors with personal financial issues. We assigned that mentor, made financial counselors (employed by the USN for this express purpose) available,
For a problem like MOM - "not able to date successfully" - I would leave it alone, unless and until, it affected the person's job performance, then it becomes a command issue - and since it's so deeply personal, I would direct them towards the many counseling services outside the command, Fleet & Family Services, chaplain, etc.
I'm always willing to listen, and I have personally intervened in many instances to provide assistance and guidance myself* but I cannot mentor/guide hundreds of people simultaneously, that gets delegated to appropriate, skilled, folks at a level of rank and relationship to provide for the best balance of privacy and success.
*I've lost count of the counseling/mentoring sessions in my office. Issues ranged from financial, to career, to deeply personal. Sometimes it's just a chat, sometimes, formal paperwork was involved. Really depended on the circumstances.
Look, I want people to succeed. I want them to be happy and fulfilled in their service and in their personal lives. Sometimes, all that is needed is for them to realize that hope is not lost, that the folks for whom they work care about them, and that they have options/resources to help them fix their problem. You would be surprised how many people go through their daily lives thinking that all is lost and no one cares.
But I'm outside my area of expertise with MOM. I'm no expert on women, or dating. I was lucky to meet Mrs. Astro (who's a retired USN Captain now, and a babe, by the way). I've got no advice, beyond what's already been said, for him.
I will simply say that I wish you luck, Motor Oil Madman. I am among the many here who would like you to be successful.
Let me add that I feel that way about several members, present and former, who posted all sorts of personal problems here on BITOG. Some notorious, some banned. I would like to see them be successful in their lives. If they worked for me, then I would have more means at my disposal to help with that wish. But I'm retired from the USN now, no longer in a position of authority, and posting on an internet oil forum doesn't seem particularly effective...
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Originally Posted By: Vikas
The forum allows you to look up all the threads started by somebody. You can look at the topics and the time they were created. See if you notice anything odd about them.
Somebody who goes through one of the most gut wrenching situation in real life and then in less than a week starts creating new topics about inane stuff?
AKA, dad's death, then the thread about the neighbor dispose of my dead plants....
The forum allows you to look up all the threads started by somebody. You can look at the topics and the time they were created. See if you notice anything odd about them.
Somebody who goes through one of the most gut wrenching situation in real life and then in less than a week starts creating new topics about inane stuff?
AKA, dad's death, then the thread about the neighbor dispose of my dead plants....
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