Interesting questions you bring up here.
Who do I work for? Well, myself, literally and philosophically. Of course, my wife and children benefit from my work but I still don't look at it as working for them directly. My wife and I made a decision to marry and a consequence of this decision is some of my work effort goes to supporting her. My wife and I made the decision to have three children and as a consequence some of my work effort goes to supporting them. In the grand scheme of things in my mind 100% of my work effort goes towards the life I chose.
As a father, my obligation to my children is simple. Take a little person who is incapable of caring for themselves both physically and emotionally and grow that person up so that they can take care of themselves both physically and emotionally. My wife and I (and children) try and live our best life NOW. Life is short and I'm not making the mistake of living a worker bee life always thinking about the future, not living now, just to die at 50 and never experience life. I feel NO obligation to leave them anything after they are adults when I'm gone and furthermore once they are adults my wife and I will have ZERO problems continuing to use the fruits of my work to live OUR lives the best we can while we're here. If there's anything left over, cool, but I'm not sacrificing my life so my children can get an inheritance. I feel no obligation to leave a legacy beyond my children were loved, well taken care of while minors, and my wife and I taught them how to make their own lives. It is up to THEM to build the life they want and to care for themselves.
As a husband, my obligation is to care for my wife's needs for the rest of her life, even in the event of my early death. Here needs include her current needs which means living life NOW. We go on vacations frequently, not to keep up with Jones' but because we love traveling together. We go on date night several times per month to nice restaurants because we love going out together and great food. We live NOW.
Life is also a balance. We do not go into debt to do these things. I'm still saving sufficiently for my life after working. We could be putting more towards that but then again there's no guarantee either of us will see that time and so while we do sacrifice a little now it is not to the point of decreasing our quality of life now.