- Joined
- Jul 2, 2007
- Messages
- 5,294
LoL, I know. Asking a question about anything ettiquette related on here is kind of comical, a bunch of wrench turning oil geeks. But if there is one thing about us all I've come to know it is that while it might be easy to label us as such because of the general automotive theme here, we are in fact a well rounded if not diverse bunch of people. So, for what it's worth, here goes.
I will attempt to be brief, but it's a little complicated. It is not to get "awe's" and "I'm sorry's" but the foundational event that has created the situation was my wife of 23 yrs' suicide in 2012. Rocked the family as one might imagine. Been a road, but I've moved on and earlier this year got engaged: We plan to marry in September. I am still connected to my late wife's family and have regularly attended Holiday gatherings at their places and have mostly 90% or so, felt as welcome as I used to when attended the gatherings in the 23 yrs of marriage. Of course our son, an adult and married recently, attends but in recent yrs has had to balance his attendance there with attending his wife's family gatherings which at times have conflicted schedule-wise.
The family knows I am seeing a woman and one member, my niece-in-law, knows I'm engaged as does our son but neither had mentioned that aspect to the rest of the family far as I know.
To complicate matters, my mother-in-law passed this past October.
This Thanksgiving my son and I both weren't able to make the Thanksgiving gathering which was at my late wife's brother's place in the country, both of us due to schedule conflicts of his wife's family's gathering and my fiancee's family gathering.
The niece-in-law who is usually my contact who invites me to their family events has not communicated about Christmas Eve. Just sent her an inquiry email, awaiting response.
HERE IS THE QUESTION:
Should I bring my fiancee to the Christmas Eve gathering? It's being held at their old family house where my father-in-law still lives (now as a new widower) just him and their dog, and where my wife grew up. He himself in his Christmas card said looking forward to seeing you Xmas Eve, and he had told me in November that she was invited to their Thanksgiving gig at the brother's place. Frankly my fiancee has expressed reluctance and tells me that their first Christmas gathering at the family place where my late wife grew up, after losing the matriarch of the family pretty much freaks her out and makes her feel iffy about going as the new woman. Keep in mind they know I'm seeing someone, just not that it has blossomed into engagement. And then again, they may know already if my niece-in-law who promised to keep it quiet let it slip.
Or should I just stay home and change the oil in my car and bike? (
I will attempt to be brief, but it's a little complicated. It is not to get "awe's" and "I'm sorry's" but the foundational event that has created the situation was my wife of 23 yrs' suicide in 2012. Rocked the family as one might imagine. Been a road, but I've moved on and earlier this year got engaged: We plan to marry in September. I am still connected to my late wife's family and have regularly attended Holiday gatherings at their places and have mostly 90% or so, felt as welcome as I used to when attended the gatherings in the 23 yrs of marriage. Of course our son, an adult and married recently, attends but in recent yrs has had to balance his attendance there with attending his wife's family gatherings which at times have conflicted schedule-wise.
The family knows I am seeing a woman and one member, my niece-in-law, knows I'm engaged as does our son but neither had mentioned that aspect to the rest of the family far as I know.
To complicate matters, my mother-in-law passed this past October.
This Thanksgiving my son and I both weren't able to make the Thanksgiving gathering which was at my late wife's brother's place in the country, both of us due to schedule conflicts of his wife's family's gathering and my fiancee's family gathering.
The niece-in-law who is usually my contact who invites me to their family events has not communicated about Christmas Eve. Just sent her an inquiry email, awaiting response.
HERE IS THE QUESTION:
Should I bring my fiancee to the Christmas Eve gathering? It's being held at their old family house where my father-in-law still lives (now as a new widower) just him and their dog, and where my wife grew up. He himself in his Christmas card said looking forward to seeing you Xmas Eve, and he had told me in November that she was invited to their Thanksgiving gig at the brother's place. Frankly my fiancee has expressed reluctance and tells me that their first Christmas gathering at the family place where my late wife grew up, after losing the matriarch of the family pretty much freaks her out and makes her feel iffy about going as the new woman. Keep in mind they know I'm seeing someone, just not that it has blossomed into engagement. And then again, they may know already if my niece-in-law who promised to keep it quiet let it slip.
Or should I just stay home and change the oil in my car and bike? (
