Ain't got time for that kind of drama in my life. As corny as it sounds my wife is my best friend. Then I have 2 or 3 "buddies" in town. We may get together a few times per year, text during a playoff game, and we will always gravitate towards each other in social settings.
None of my buddies put any kind of pressure on me or expectations into the relationship above what I stated above. No wife drama when we do hang out. We can not talk or text or see each other for a year and it's all good, we pick up where we left off. If one of us needs help with something we're there to help but there is also no pressure for constant contact.
My wife has a very tight group of 5 friends in town. They go to trivia every week and someone is always at the house. She recently asked me if I was ok without having a male "best friend". I reassured her that I'm fine and really don't feel the need for someone like that in my life. My last "best friend" committed suicide in 2012. Maybe I'm a little damaged from that experience but I think best friends are overrated so long as you have people you can talk to in life. For me, that's my wife, business partners, and my buddies but I like these relationships lowkey.
It's interesting....my wife has like 3 circles of close friends, all different. come XMAS, she has gift cards rolling in, $50 here, $50 there, etc. She works for a school and they're from her kids/kids' parents. We got to church and inevitably someone approaches and thanks her etc.
So when we get into an argument, she will point out she has tons of friends, and I don't.
Now I may be getting too personal--she abruptly left for a week with our son. I was at the lowest point of my life, and was very introspective. Actually, the fact that I was slammed at work helped me get through the days.
OK, now I'm getting to the point--a couple male friends showed up unannounced, one with beer, one with cheesesteaks (he doesn't drink). They asked me how I was and what I planned to do, etc. THESE ARE REAL FRIENDS. So the total count was two, for good, or for bad.
All the others, I did not reach out to. The reason these two knew, was that their wives are close friends with my wife.
The end
p.s. this summer I was at a concert at Citi Field. The guy in front of me high fives me, we start talking, and we're from the same home town, 120 miles away. What are the odds? We kept in touch, got together a couple of times, kids same age, and the most recent development was we go to the same church. He said I saw you but you left. There was a time when based on his last name, I coulda asked, "What parish?" But that's no longer PC. Turns out he's a police detective so I figure I'll call him if I have any moving violations. But he's young, who knows, maybe 15+ years younger
p.p.s. I'm glad this topic came up. I cut ties also with someone from elementary school, just recently.
