child support advise pls

[eljefino]

It's obvious you still have some emotional attachment to your ex.

A mediocre lawyer will still be very good, if for no other reason than to be a cheerleader for your cause and help you get your head on straight. He can refer you to a better more specialized lawyer if necessary. Pick up the yellow pages and call around, I'd call the local guy that doesn't have the full page ad spread (and they mostly do).

He'll be able to sniff out the opposite side's tactics because he's been there 1000 times already.

There's a basic assumption that someone near broke (as you describe yourself) won't get a lawyer and will roll over and play dead. A bluff at the beginning can work wonders.

 

[Mr Nice]

A mediocre lawyer still costs good money even if he doesn't accomplish any thing for his client. I feel very bad for CamaroT56, the worst that could happen is that he gets screwed and ends up selling his car to repay the child support he already paid, avoids jail for being a deadbeat dad and gets every thing straightened out.

My brother's ex wife took him to the cleaners for $1400 per month child support and even called his Officer In Charge when he was in the Navy claiming his kids we going hungry. Women can be very manipulative when it comes to money and using the kid(s) as a pawn to gain an advantage in court.

 

[Virtuoso]

Do you have the documents saying how much you were ordered to pay, and have you paid her entirely by check since the court order? If so then you should have all the legal proof you need for this.

I don't see how they can hold you liable for child support that you voluntarly paid her in cash before a ruling?

 

[MetalSlug]

Originally Posted By: eljefino
It's obvious you still have some emotional attachment to your ex.

A mediocre lawyer will still be very good, if for no other reason than to be a cheerleader for your cause and help you get your head on straight. He can refer you to a better more specialized lawyer if necessary. Pick up the yellow pages and call around, I'd call the local guy that doesn't have the full page ad spread (and they mostly do).

He'll be able to sniff out the opposite side's tactics because he's been there 1000 times already.

There's a basic assumption that someone near broke (as you describe yourself) won't get a lawyer and will roll over and play dead. A bluff at the beginning can work wonders.


yes I do, she was my first and also my first mom of my child also. when I look for lawyer on yellow book, i look under attorney-divroce-family law section ?

 

[G-MAN]

Originally Posted By: Virtuoso
Do you have the documents saying how much you were ordered to pay, and have you paid her entirely by check since the court order? If so then you should have all the legal proof you need for this.

I don't see how they can hold you liable for child support that you voluntarly paid her in cash before a ruling?


That would be my argument. If he's paid up on what the court ordered, then he shouldn't have any problems. But he's going to need a lawyer to adequately make that argument.

 

[MetalSlug]

Originally Posted By: Virtuoso
Do you have the documents saying how much you were ordered to pay, and have you paid her entirely by check since the court order? If so then you should have all the legal proof you need for this.

I don't see how they can hold you liable for child support that you voluntarly paid her in cash before a ruling?


yes since we divorse around 2010, and then around may or june 2010 the divorse over, we got no faul divorse. then that when I receive letter say i have to pay 220 dollar a month, that when I start writing check, i got those proof from bank statement.

those year before course order, I been giving she moneys and event some for her mom for taking care my baby also. those moneys for me is not as child support because the court told me to, its becuase my responsiblity to give money for my child. but when court order me to pay, that when all the moneys I send is consider child support. but my child is not here in USA atm, she is in another country with her grandma, since last time my ex driving and got caught and was about to send back to her country, that when thing start really mess up between me and my ex, that when my child start going back to her country with grandma. I still talk to she over the phone, send her cloth and stuff, but the moneyys I send is to my ex, and Im sure she use it for her personal thing, since she not working and wanna go club, and now she pregnant with some dude, think really mess up, that y i try to avoid she and just pay child support to her, so she dont come bother me, and the thing is she want me buy ticket and come get my child back to her, and i have to pay for everything, i was thinking she have no responsiblity at all, and she having another baby on her way and she still want my child to be back here, im sure my child is safe and happy over their with her grandma atm, i will get she back, but not now, since im not fully making enought moneys atm. i still call she and talk to her, 2-3 time a week.

 

[morris]

DONT get an honest lawyer, get a dishonest, under handed, snake in the grass, cheater, overbearing, whiskey drinking lawyer.

 

[Bluestream]

Originally Posted By: CamaroT56
I cant contact my ex, I try avoid she, cause she alway bring me problem, every month i just send she moneys for child support and hope she leave me alone that was I been doing all these year.


If you can get a legal aid Lawyer to help you that would be good. But you must re-establishing some form of relationship with her. If not, every issue that comes up will have one of you running to a Lawyer, and that means money, and confrontation. I am not anti-Lawyer, in fact that can be worth their weight in Gold for a corporate legal issue. Do you want to be involved with your child's life? Do you want to get a call when they are sick, or achieved a milestone? If you do, then you need some type of relationship with her. Swallow you pride on this one. I won't preach to you about sending cash in the mail, as I assume you have already learned that lesson the hard way.

 

[MetalSlug]

Originally Posted By: Bluestream
Originally Posted By: CamaroT56
I cant contact my ex, I try avoid she, cause she alway bring me problem, every month i just send she moneys for child support and hope she leave me alone that was I been doing all these year.


If you can get a legal aid Lawyer to help you that would be good. But you must re-establishing some form of relationship with her. If not, every issue that comes up will have one of you running to a Lawyer, and that means money, and confrontation. I am not anti-Lawyer, in fact that can be worth their weight in Gold for a corporate legal issue. Do you want to be involved with your child's life? Do you want to get a call when they are sick, or achieved a milestone? If you do, then you need some type of relationship with her. Swallow you pride on this one. I won't preach to you about sending cash in the mail, as I assume you have already learned that lesson the hard way.


yes I do, everything I send her, or my child i will keep record from now on.

I really strong feeling I need lawyer for this. I will call the child support place tomorrow and tell them hold on the dispute, cause I will find a lawyer for this. it just suck that i have to pay again wat I already been pay.

my car is only thing I have left, if that come to a end where I can get the childs support amount reduce and afforable monthly plan, i have to sell my car, that onl thing i have left worth over 3k.

tomorrow I will start call lawyer asking question, telling my situation, u guy think they charge me moneys for that ? or they charge when they start working on it ? and my story might be long, u think they can be patient and listent to me ? or they will say, come in and pay this ammount then we talk ?

 

[Win]

Originally Posted By: CamaroT56
... but my child is not here in USA atm, she is in another country with her grandma, ...


In my state, a child cannot be permanently removed from the state, much less the country, without the consent in writing of the noncustodial parent, or a court order.

You have multiple, multiple, legal issues going on here. Lawyers often will represent clients at a greatly reduced fee, or even for free. If you are truly indigent, and your case has merit, you should be able to find a lawyer to help you.


Good luck.

 

[MetalSlug]

Originally Posted By: Win
Originally Posted By: CamaroT56
... but my child is not here in USA atm, she is in another country with her grandma, ...


In my state, a child cannot be permanently removed from the state, much less the country, without the consent in writing of the noncustodial parent, or a court order.

You have multiple, multiple, legal issues going on here. Lawyers often will represent clients at a greatly reduced fee, or even for free. If you are truly indigent, and your case has merit, you should be able to find a lawyer to help you.


Good luck.


thx you. but the more I think about it, the more im really mad, how can I have to pay for something that I been already pay all these year .

 

[MetalSlug]

I have a question, when court order me to pay, that when I start write in check, but before that I dont have to pay child support right ? but I still giving she money monthly cause that the right thing to do, now she say I dint pay those monthly before court order me. that mean she got nothing on me right ? and since court order me to see my child and pay child support, i dint get to see my child cause she out the country.

 

[NHHEMI]

Originally Posted By: G-MAN
In my experience, the people who are in the position of the woman you are planning to talk to see guys like you as one thing: a "deadbeat" dad who doesn't pay his child support. They are not interested in your reasons, excuses, etc. The only thing that makes them happy is cash on the table. If you go in there looking for a sympathetic ear you'll be greatly disappointed.

This is nothing to play around with. Unpaid child support can land you in jail. Beg or borrow, but do what is necessary to get yourself a lawyer.


Listen to this man. He is telling you the 100% truth. Get a lawyer and don't open your mouth and commit to anything unless the lawyer is present. It will be far cheaper for you in the long run then trying to get bye without one. The 2 worst things you can do in a divorce and/or custody case is A) think the female will be reasonable or trustworthy and B) that you will get any kind of justice without a lawyer. Even with a good lawyer your chances are slim.

The legal system in this country when it comes to divorce and custody is stacked against the man in a HUGE way. I have a friend who is fighting an unjust divorce and custody settlement right now. The marital master has been impeached recently so we are hoping this will allow him grounds for an appeal as he has been so royal screwed in this it is beyong words to describe.

He got hit with $1500 a month in CS and $14000 in back CS payments( to cover the time the marital master said he didn't have to pay it - decided at the final hearing he should pay for all that time in hind site - how fair is that? ). His wife abuses the kids and makes over 100K a year yet my friend has only 10% custody and a huge CS bill now. He tried to go through this without a lawyer and it cost him. I am no lawyer but I strongly urge you to get one for yourself no matetr what it costs. FIND the money somehow short of something illegal.

You will not even come close to a fair settlement on this without a lawyer, and a good one to boot. As G-MAN said you could wind up in jail if you don't pay.

 

[unDummy]

Cash in the envelope, or mailed, is the biggest lie out there.

There is no such thing as "the right thing to do".

Child support only counts as a 'court order'. And, you need cancelled checks or proof that its being made, or you face the evil of the woman and the spite of an anti-deadbeat liberal judge.

If your incomes changes, its up to YOU to advise the court and have childsupport adjusted regularly. Around here, if you don't, they will eventually audit your tax returns, and calculate all the child support increases(which each pay raise) and slap on some interest, and hunt you for that.

Any money provided without a court order around here is a GIFT.

If you don't have proof of payment, in the courts around here, they can go back in time to collect every penny since the child was born. You could owe 6-years of back support, along with interest, for every penny that doesn't have a 'cancelled check' or 'court receipt.'

Get a lawyer. Pay the $3000, settle it in court, and WRITE CHECKS for the next 12 years.

Yeah, sell the car, be a man, raise your child, pay the support, and smarten up.

 

[MetalSlug]

with this situation, i did learn alot in life, it cold and it rough, i pray god help me thru this situation, and smart me up. I just talk to my friend, and he told me go see this lawyer, i know the place, i will go by their tomorrow, and also call the lady at child support service that handle this case, that I will dispute it. I will do everything I can to get a lawyer. event to sell my car and walk to work. i want this over with in a good way and dont want make same mistake again.

When court order me pay child support, I was working 2 job, then after that I only have 1 job, and that job when winter come, i make 100 a week or less, but I still manange to pay the full amount. also keep up with other bill i own the bank and credit card also.

I should have listent to my parent back when i was teen, sex with protection !!, and stay in school, now I pay the price.

 

[hr1940]

CamaroT56 please listen to the advice you have been given. Check with legal aid and try to get help that way. We want the best for you. Keep us posted.

Helen

 

[greenaccord02]

Keep your head up, man. Get that lawyer like everybody's said and you'll have the best chance you can. Like you say, if it takes selling the car to do it, it's worth doing that. Make sure that lawyer knows everything about your side of the case so he can do his best for you. Good luck.

 

[Al]

Originally Posted By: NHHEMI

The legal system in this country when it comes to divorce and custody is stacked against the man in a HUGE way.

You are only looking at one side of it. My daughter went through a divorce 6 years ago. She gets $950 dollars of support to raise 3 kids. The home equity was to be split in half. The Husband kept dragging his feet. The court didn't hold him in contempt as they should have. and ultimately declared bankruptcy. 42 years ago. My daughter paid for most of the house when they were married.

Family court is a joke. The legal system in this country is a joke. Also go into a woman abuse center and talk to them there about how the man always gets screwed.

He took my daughter back into court 9 times. (cost her about 1500 every time)

 

[eljefino]

If you do wind up in court and they do order you to pay $3k THEN you can decide to sell your car or whatever.

Tell them the truth, you have no assets and you need the car to get to work, and you're willing to pay X dollars a month. They might be slightly reasonable. You won't impress them by showing up saying yeah I sold my car already here's a stack of bills. You don't need to impress anyone, just fight silently and cunningly.

I would ask the court if you can write the checks out directly in your daughters name, or perhaps "FBO" (For benefit of), I KNOW NOTHING of this procedure, but if she is out of the country, it should make it harder to deposit the checks, LOL.

And this is why private detectives exist, the law is not going to help you prove your daughter is not in your ex's custody. I'm not saying you should hire one, but if you can prove she's not where she's claimed to be, via school attendance or something, that's ammo for you.

 

[kb01]

Maybe I'm just missing something really obvious but...

I'm not sure what a lawyer is going to be able to do when you have no proof that payments were ever made. Even though it works 99% of the time, paying cash with no receipt for a contractual obligation is a horrible idea.