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The 4-cylinder Camry I rented was surprisingly powerful around town, but ran out of breath passing at highway speeds. How you'll be using the car is a big part of what decision you make. It may not achieve substantially better MPG than the 3.5, but think of the long-term cost savings of 5+ years of getting better mileage. If you don't care whether or not the car can overtake slow moving motor homes with just a tap of the right pedal, the 4-cylinder is the logical choice. For me, it would be V6 or nothing.
I agree with you. For in town driving and occasional highway, go I4. I4s are usually easy to care for, compared to a more complex V6(usually again).
Power wise, V6. My daytona is an I4 and she just can NOT keep up on the PA turnpike when I need to pass at highspeed. I drove a neighbors V6 Sonata and it was unreal on the highway compared to the daytona. Night and day.