Just don't bait the guy by leaving your garage door open.
neighbor vandalized my floodlight, my options?
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Originally Posted By: Mr Nice
Just don't bait the guy by leaving your garage door open.
Or unfortunately you might have a "broken" lock on an access door!
Just don't bait the guy by leaving your garage door open.
Or unfortunately you might have a "broken" lock on an access door!
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I don't want to go
But How do you act if a new neighbor comes to your direct neighborhood?
Around here, after a few days, a week or so, I might make a point of meeting them (while putting out the garbage, Lawn mowing, whatever) and introduce myself and welcome them.
Not intending to be Best Buddies or anything, but I would just 'Break the ice' and open a dialog if ever we need to talk.
If you don't do this in the first few months, it gets a bit difficult later.
Kind of like knocking on a strangers door.
But How do you act if a new neighbor comes to your direct neighborhood?
Around here, after a few days, a week or so, I might make a point of meeting them (while putting out the garbage, Lawn mowing, whatever) and introduce myself and welcome them.
Not intending to be Best Buddies or anything, but I would just 'Break the ice' and open a dialog if ever we need to talk.
If you don't do this in the first few months, it gets a bit difficult later.
Kind of like knocking on a strangers door.
OVERKILL
$100 Site Donor 2021
Originally Posted By: expat
I don't want to go
But How do you act if a new neighbor comes to your direct neighborhood?
Around here, after a few days, a week or so, I might make a point of meeting them (while putting out the garbage, Lawn mowing, whatever) and introduce myself and welcome them.
Not intending to be Best Buddies or anything, but I would just 'Break the ice' and open a dialog if ever we need to talk.
If you don't do this in the first few months, it gets a bit difficult later.
Kind of like knocking on a strangers door.
Yup, same here. In fact, when my one neighbour was renting out her house she made it a point to come over and introduce us to the tenants. She has moved back in now, but it was a great gesture and one we really appreciated.
I don't want to go
But How do you act if a new neighbor comes to your direct neighborhood?
Around here, after a few days, a week or so, I might make a point of meeting them (while putting out the garbage, Lawn mowing, whatever) and introduce myself and welcome them.
Not intending to be Best Buddies or anything, but I would just 'Break the ice' and open a dialog if ever we need to talk.
If you don't do this in the first few months, it gets a bit difficult later.
Kind of like knocking on a strangers door.
Yup, same here. In fact, when my one neighbour was renting out her house she made it a point to come over and introduce us to the tenants. She has moved back in now, but it was a great gesture and one we really appreciated.
Originally Posted By: Pop_Rivit
Originally Posted By: OVERKILL
Why don't you go over to his house, knock on his door and kindly ask him [censored] he's doing?
Agreed. Just go talk to him and find out what the problem is. Then work it out from there.
Originally Posted By: andrewg
Where I live (and have lived before this) people are nutty and have ZERO class.
I'm sure they are. All of them.
How delightfully clever you are...as always.
Originally Posted By: OVERKILL
Why don't you go over to his house, knock on his door and kindly ask him [censored] he's doing?
Agreed. Just go talk to him and find out what the problem is. Then work it out from there.
Originally Posted By: andrewg
Where I live (and have lived before this) people are nutty and have ZERO class.
I'm sure they are. All of them.
How delightfully clever you are...as always.
Originally Posted By: OVERKILL
I think it would do you good to live somewhere different. A middle class community here, at least in places that aren't the 'shwa or directly in and around the GTA, are very nice to live in. You'd love the villages of Lakefield, Millbrook..etc. Where somebody with a middle class income can have a nice house, yard, and great neighbours.
I think the phrase I used might indeed sound a little "buzz wordy" perhaps, but to me, it fit what you were describing, which was why I used it, LOL!
And the stereotype is basically what you've describe with your neighbourhood. People are afraid of those that live around them, doors are always locked, and people isolate/insulate themselves from others; there is very little sense of community. There is a fear of getting shot or stabbed.
We've had a few stabbings in my town in the last couple of years and everybody is freaking out about it because it used to be a place where you'd feel comfortable going downtown at 3:00AM by yourself without worry. Unfortunately some of the more liberal well-to-do's thought it was bright to setup methadone clinics here and then when we had too many meth heads, that it would be logical to make more methadone clinics. They seem oblivious to the connection between the increase in these types and the fact that they are catering to them. That their actions are bringing more of them here
The same goes for the homeless warming shelters, which we now have quite a few of. And not surprisingly, we also have an increase in homeless downtown.
These two "programs" are systematically dismantling the downtown. Businesses are dying because nobody wants to go down there and get exposed to these types. I don't blame them.
That said, we still have an entire street that holds a garage sale once a year that the whole neighbourhood gets in on. There's a lady down the street that sells candles and has candle parties. We've got a local jogging group that many of the wives are part of and several local churches of varying denominations that are regularly attended every weekend. We are generally a pretty tightly knit community and that's why the blight on the downtown is so bothersome. It is an issue that we are all aware of yet it seems the city continues to cater to the imbeciles who are furthering the issue
I'm going to be brutally honest with my opinion here....and may very well tick-off my fellow countrymen. But........in my experience, middle class Canadians seem to GENERALLY be of a tad bit better socially skilled in a cordially viable way, than middle class Americans. At least this is the case (my opinion) where I have lived.
I don't know if the culture of the U.S. has just gotten to be more volatile, or if we just take pride in sometimes being overly nasty to each other. Even in my place of employment, the kindest folks at the offloading docks are the Canadian truckers. The American truckers tend to be grumpy, standoffish, and rude. Not always...but generally.
Anyway....as I've stated before though, I don't live in fear. I live how my common sense and experiences dictate. Fact is, many of my neighbors are not friendly nor are they respectful of others. Crime is increasing proportionate with diversity. Graffiti, broken bottles in the street....and children running around at night looking to cause trouble.
Yes....when my lease is up on this house....I will indeed be moving far away. No more middle class neighborhoods for me.
I think it would do you good to live somewhere different. A middle class community here, at least in places that aren't the 'shwa or directly in and around the GTA, are very nice to live in. You'd love the villages of Lakefield, Millbrook..etc. Where somebody with a middle class income can have a nice house, yard, and great neighbours.
I think the phrase I used might indeed sound a little "buzz wordy" perhaps, but to me, it fit what you were describing, which was why I used it, LOL!
And the stereotype is basically what you've describe with your neighbourhood. People are afraid of those that live around them, doors are always locked, and people isolate/insulate themselves from others; there is very little sense of community. There is a fear of getting shot or stabbed.
We've had a few stabbings in my town in the last couple of years and everybody is freaking out about it because it used to be a place where you'd feel comfortable going downtown at 3:00AM by yourself without worry. Unfortunately some of the more liberal well-to-do's thought it was bright to setup methadone clinics here and then when we had too many meth heads, that it would be logical to make more methadone clinics. They seem oblivious to the connection between the increase in these types and the fact that they are catering to them. That their actions are bringing more of them here
The same goes for the homeless warming shelters, which we now have quite a few of. And not surprisingly, we also have an increase in homeless downtown.
These two "programs" are systematically dismantling the downtown. Businesses are dying because nobody wants to go down there and get exposed to these types. I don't blame them.
That said, we still have an entire street that holds a garage sale once a year that the whole neighbourhood gets in on. There's a lady down the street that sells candles and has candle parties. We've got a local jogging group that many of the wives are part of and several local churches of varying denominations that are regularly attended every weekend. We are generally a pretty tightly knit community and that's why the blight on the downtown is so bothersome. It is an issue that we are all aware of yet it seems the city continues to cater to the imbeciles who are furthering the issue
I'm going to be brutally honest with my opinion here....and may very well tick-off my fellow countrymen. But........in my experience, middle class Canadians seem to GENERALLY be of a tad bit better socially skilled in a cordially viable way, than middle class Americans. At least this is the case (my opinion) where I have lived.
I don't know if the culture of the U.S. has just gotten to be more volatile, or if we just take pride in sometimes being overly nasty to each other. Even in my place of employment, the kindest folks at the offloading docks are the Canadian truckers. The American truckers tend to be grumpy, standoffish, and rude. Not always...but generally.
Anyway....as I've stated before though, I don't live in fear. I live how my common sense and experiences dictate. Fact is, many of my neighbors are not friendly nor are they respectful of others. Crime is increasing proportionate with diversity. Graffiti, broken bottles in the street....and children running around at night looking to cause trouble.
Yes....when my lease is up on this house....I will indeed be moving far away. No more middle class neighborhoods for me.
Originally Posted By: Al
Originally Posted By: Mr Nice
Send the wife to talk to this neighbor?
Hopefully you are kidding or don't understand that some men love their wives and do everything to keep them from harm.
Assuming you are kidding. Yea..send her over and in full view of yourself. Have your handgun anc cell phone handy. When he answers the door give him a few moments and then have her run away screaming he is assaulting her. Immediately call the police and run out there to her. And if he follows her..shoot him on your own property. Yea I'm kidding but I did think of it.
Originally Posted By: andrewg
Good gosh...."A culture of fear"?? What media soundbite did you grab that from? What a silly phrase.
No, not all American neighborhoods are dangerous or cause one to pause before talking with a neighbor. But given the explanation and description of the OP's neighbor.....it would be wise to avoid confrontation as this guy is obviously a flake.
I grant you your opinion however. I hope you grant me mine.
Most middle class communities in my neck of the woods are rife with druggies and violent types. Yes...I need to move. This is my second move in three years attempting to get into a better community....but it's almost everywhere. Just yesterday a local moron was driving his four wheeler around the neighborhood streets going about 40mph. It's illegal...and children are at risk as well as being highly annoying. I wave the guy down and ask him to please stop and explain to him the reasons why. He flips me off and laughs as he drives off.
Afraid of my neighbors? Not really....but I would not trust them in times of crisis....let alone knock on a door with a problem.
Where I live (and have lived before this) people are nutty and have ZERO class.
Andrew you are a realist like I. There are others on this board that think differently for some reason. Not saying this about 'all' Canadians but I assume since in many Cases when the "government" doesn't allolw you to defend yourself.many drink the Koolaid and figure they are safe.
I try not to leave important things to chance. I almost always agree with you. And of course I do now.
The OP is in a difficult situation. Gone are the days when you can confront people the way this guy needs confronting.
Thanks for the kindly comparison in our attitudes. It's nice to know that others can sometimes actually agree with me!! (I'm not always the most agreeable chap!)
Yes, I'm pretty much a realist and tend to be as objective as I can be.
And yes...those days of pummeling this weirdo neighbor into seeing things the right way....are sadly over...lol. The guy sounds like a real head case.
Bright lights CAN be a bit annoying at night. But.....is it really that hard for anybody to use proper shades and blinds that won't permit any light from shining into your windows? It's not that hard to do and not a big deal.
Originally Posted By: Mr Nice
Send the wife to talk to this neighbor?
Hopefully you are kidding or don't understand that some men love their wives and do everything to keep them from harm.
Assuming you are kidding. Yea..send her over and in full view of yourself. Have your handgun anc cell phone handy. When he answers the door give him a few moments and then have her run away screaming he is assaulting her. Immediately call the police and run out there to her. And if he follows her..shoot him on your own property. Yea I'm kidding but I did think of it.
Originally Posted By: andrewg
Good gosh...."A culture of fear"?? What media soundbite did you grab that from? What a silly phrase.
No, not all American neighborhoods are dangerous or cause one to pause before talking with a neighbor. But given the explanation and description of the OP's neighbor.....it would be wise to avoid confrontation as this guy is obviously a flake.
I grant you your opinion however. I hope you grant me mine.
Most middle class communities in my neck of the woods are rife with druggies and violent types. Yes...I need to move. This is my second move in three years attempting to get into a better community....but it's almost everywhere. Just yesterday a local moron was driving his four wheeler around the neighborhood streets going about 40mph. It's illegal...and children are at risk as well as being highly annoying. I wave the guy down and ask him to please stop and explain to him the reasons why. He flips me off and laughs as he drives off.
Afraid of my neighbors? Not really....but I would not trust them in times of crisis....let alone knock on a door with a problem.
Where I live (and have lived before this) people are nutty and have ZERO class.
Andrew you are a realist like I. There are others on this board that think differently for some reason. Not saying this about 'all' Canadians but I assume since in many Cases when the "government" doesn't allolw you to defend yourself.many drink the Koolaid and figure they are safe.
I try not to leave important things to chance. I almost always agree with you. And of course I do now.
The OP is in a difficult situation. Gone are the days when you can confront people the way this guy needs confronting.
Thanks for the kindly comparison in our attitudes. It's nice to know that others can sometimes actually agree with me!! (I'm not always the most agreeable chap!)
Yes, I'm pretty much a realist and tend to be as objective as I can be.
And yes...those days of pummeling this weirdo neighbor into seeing things the right way....are sadly over...lol. The guy sounds like a real head case.
Bright lights CAN be a bit annoying at night. But.....is it really that hard for anybody to use proper shades and blinds that won't permit any light from shining into your windows? It's not that hard to do and not a big deal.
OVERKILL
$100 Site Donor 2021
Andrew, I think you need to move to Canada. You strike me as a really nice guy that lives in a very [censored] place. I for one, would love to have you up here.
Weird, I've had TWO houses that weren't in the greatest neighborhoods & had almost zero problems with neighbors. You need to wait until the guy comes out to cut his grass, work in the yard, or change his oil & strike up a conversation with him to work this out, if possible. If that doesn't work, then it's time to use other measures-that will likely earn you an enemy for as long as you live next door to him.
ok, I did some research on this guy. I wanted to be sure this guy wasn't a cop, lawyer, or judge.
he put on the internet that he's a Vice President at a company. Don't you have to be a people person to be a VP at a company? lol
he put on the internet that he's a Vice President at a company. Don't you have to be a people person to be a VP at a company? lol
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Originally Posted By: Mr Nice
Of course I'm kidding about sending his wife to talk to the guy.
lol.. I was hoping that.
Originally Posted By: MNgopher
Apparently I live in a much different world where I don't live in constant fear and paranoia.
I always smirk at these posts like you are braver and more manly bc you don't live in constant paranoia. Why is chosing to avoid danger a sign that he lives in constant paranoia.
Its like folks who refer to us that chose to CCW as filled with paranoia and somehow more fearfulj than "gun grabbers". "Discression is the better part of valor"
Of course I'm kidding about sending his wife to talk to the guy.
lol.. I was hoping that.
Originally Posted By: MNgopher
Apparently I live in a much different world where I don't live in constant fear and paranoia.
I always smirk at these posts like you are braver and more manly bc you don't live in constant paranoia. Why is chosing to avoid danger a sign that he lives in constant paranoia.
Its like folks who refer to us that chose to CCW as filled with paranoia and somehow more fearfulj than "gun grabbers". "Discression is the better part of valor"
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Originally Posted By: OVERKILL
Andrew, I think you need to move to Canada. You strike me as a really nice guy that lives in a very [censored] place. I for one, would love to have you up here.
Nice thing to say Overkill.
I have a lot of respect for Canadians and Canada as a whole. No....not crazy about the political leanings....but the people and the society seem real decent. You folks always seem well mannered, polite, and more civilized than you get credit for.
Andrew, I think you need to move to Canada. You strike me as a really nice guy that lives in a very [censored] place. I for one, would love to have you up here.
Nice thing to say Overkill.
I have a lot of respect for Canadians and Canada as a whole. No....not crazy about the political leanings....but the people and the society seem real decent. You folks always seem well mannered, polite, and more civilized than you get credit for.
Originally Posted By: Cutehumor
he put on the internet that he's a Vice President at a company. Don't you have to be a people person to be a VP at a company? lol
Sometimes control freaks are VP's. Assuming he actually is a VP. and he is not delusional.
he put on the internet that he's a Vice President at a company. Don't you have to be a people person to be a VP at a company? lol
Sometimes control freaks are VP's. Assuming he actually is a VP. and he is not delusional.
Originally Posted By: andrewg
I have a lot of respect for Canadians and Canada as a whole. No....not crazy about the political leanings....but the people and the society seem real decent. You folks always seem well mannered, polite, and more civilized than you get credit for.
That's the thing with Canada, in general it is a different society and culture than the US, although I think if you went back 50+ years ago both the US and Canada had similar social constructs, not so today, the US (now a polyglot) has too many different cultures, races, and belief systems to be what we think of as a
western civilized society.
I have a lot of respect for Canadians and Canada as a whole. No....not crazy about the political leanings....but the people and the society seem real decent. You folks always seem well mannered, polite, and more civilized than you get credit for.
That's the thing with Canada, in general it is a different society and culture than the US, although I think if you went back 50+ years ago both the US and Canada had similar social constructs, not so today, the US (now a polyglot) has too many different cultures, races, and belief systems to be what we think of as a
western civilized society.
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Originally Posted By: andrewg
Originally Posted By: OVERKILL
Andrew, I think you need to move to Canada. You strike me as a really nice guy that lives in a very [censored] place. I for one, would love to have you up here.
Nice thing to say Overkill.
I have a lot of respect for Canadians and Canada as a whole. No....not crazy about the political leanings....but the people and the society seem real decent. You folks always seem well mannered, polite, and more civilized than you get credit for.
Perhaps Alberta would suit you?
The gulf islands no doubt would not. I know someone who was welcomed to the neighborhood with a group hug.
Originally Posted By: OVERKILL
Andrew, I think you need to move to Canada. You strike me as a really nice guy that lives in a very [censored] place. I for one, would love to have you up here.
Nice thing to say Overkill.
I have a lot of respect for Canadians and Canada as a whole. No....not crazy about the political leanings....but the people and the society seem real decent. You folks always seem well mannered, polite, and more civilized than you get credit for.
Perhaps Alberta would suit you?
The gulf islands no doubt would not. I know someone who was welcomed to the neighborhood with a group hug.
My neighbor behind my property complained to neighbor in front (across the street) from my house that my flood light shined directly into her 3 season room where she spends the majority of her time. We talk often and they asked if I would point it down.
Why not come introduce yourself as I was new to the neighborhood and politely ask?
People lack social skills.
I redirected the light. It was set up from existing homeowner....
Why not come introduce yourself as I was new to the neighborhood and politely ask?
People lack social skills.
I redirected the light. It was set up from existing homeowner....
Originally Posted By: dja4260
Why not come introduce yourself as I was new to the neighborhood and politely ask?
People lack social skills.
I redirected the light. It was set up from existing homeowner....
Understand, but the difference is that you seem like a normal type guy. This other guy unscrewed light bulbs multiple times, snuck up at the door numerious times, etc. Seems like a big difference.to me.
Why not come introduce yourself as I was new to the neighborhood and politely ask?
People lack social skills.
I redirected the light. It was set up from existing homeowner....
Understand, but the difference is that you seem like a normal type guy. This other guy unscrewed light bulbs multiple times, snuck up at the door numerious times, etc. Seems like a big difference.to me.
Quote:
my flood light shined directly into her 3 season room where she spends the majority of her time.
Coincidence, I'm sure lol.
IMHO, I'd be a bit irked if one of my neighbors jumped the chain of command about a problem that was not discussed with me.
I once received a letter from the lady across the street (I live on the end of a 'tight' deadend street with no turnaround) asking if I could not park my car in the street. Even though I dealt with years of their doing the same thing, I complied because she openly admitted it was actually her mother complaining about it being hard to navigate when she would come over to visit.
I don't think it is productive to draw an entire scenario, including psychological evaluations, when so little is known.
my flood light shined directly into her 3 season room where she spends the majority of her time.
Coincidence, I'm sure lol.
IMHO, I'd be a bit irked if one of my neighbors jumped the chain of command about a problem that was not discussed with me.
I once received a letter from the lady across the street (I live on the end of a 'tight' deadend street with no turnaround) asking if I could not park my car in the street. Even though I dealt with years of their doing the same thing, I complied because she openly admitted it was actually her mother complaining about it being hard to navigate when she would come over to visit.
I don't think it is productive to draw an entire scenario, including psychological evaluations, when so little is known.
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Originally Posted By: Cutehumor
ok, I did some research on this guy. I wanted to be sure this guy wasn't a cop, lawyer, or judge.
he put on the internet that he's a Vice President at a company. Don't you have to be a people person to be a VP at a company? lol
Nah, one of the senior VP's at my work repeatedly managed to prove that people skills were not necessary to reach that level. Logic and meeting with a sketched-out action plan all ready to go occasionally worked in dealing with them.
Depending on the neighborhood and neighbor in question, sometimes a civil chat can resolve issues, especially if there is a reasonable proposal for how to fix the issue. Other times game cameras and calling the local law enforcement are needed.
ok, I did some research on this guy. I wanted to be sure this guy wasn't a cop, lawyer, or judge.
he put on the internet that he's a Vice President at a company. Don't you have to be a people person to be a VP at a company? lol
Nah, one of the senior VP's at my work repeatedly managed to prove that people skills were not necessary to reach that level. Logic and meeting with a sketched-out action plan all ready to go occasionally worked in dealing with them.
Depending on the neighborhood and neighbor in question, sometimes a civil chat can resolve issues, especially if there is a reasonable proposal for how to fix the issue. Other times game cameras and calling the local law enforcement are needed.
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