Recent Topics
Valvoline 2 Cycle TC-W3 Marine Oil - 6qt - $20
by Jimzz
06/25/18 10:45 AM
Plumbing/Bldg Experts: Cause of Wet Slab?
by LoneRanger
06/25/18 10:13 AM
How to CONFIRM the Country of Manufacture
by Ed_Flecko
06/25/18 09:58 AM
Replacing trans oil seal
by redhat
06/25/18 09:50 AM
VW diesels sitting in huge lots waiting......
by ZZman
06/25/18 09:09 AM
DTD/DT Independence Day Promos
by Sayjac
06/25/18 08:39 AM
It's AMSOIL®, not Amsoil
by Rat407
06/25/18 06:39 AM
VW Passat 2007
by madRiver
06/25/18 06:18 AM
Review: CVJ Remanufactured CV Axles
by The Critic
06/25/18 03:40 AM
Towing without 85w140?
by OilFilters
06/25/18 03:07 AM
2015 VW GTI autobahn oil questions
by Skyalbo
06/24/18 11:28 PM
Corrosion in the garage - salt or humidity?
by Kurtatron
06/24/18 11:13 PM
Darn dogs
by AZjeff
06/24/18 10:21 PM
New GC?
by Bullwinkle007
06/24/18 10:04 PM
The guy with the plexiglass head on you tube
by andyd
06/24/18 09:21 PM
'07 Pacifica Timing Belt Replacement success
by 92saturnsl2
06/24/18 09:10 PM
SAE 90 v 85/140
by Knuckle078
06/24/18 09:10 PM
Mobil 1 5W30-HM 5,011 mi, 1999 Ford Escort
by WA1DH
06/24/18 08:45 PM
Schaeffer's oil reviews on Amazon
by zfasts03
06/24/18 07:41 PM
Decent MP3 player
by Ed_T
06/24/18 07:08 PM
Newest Members
dhy808, ROD_Z, lozpxs, danthemanx07, FunktasticLucky
65319 Registered Users
Who's Online
94 registered (853okg, 2015_PSD, ALR, 1JZ_E46, 2012AccentSE, 5 invisible), 1632 Guests and 52 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
65319 Members
67 Forums
285965 Topics
4772132 Posts

Max Online: 3590 @ 01/24/17 08:07 PM
Donate to BITOG
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >
Topic Options
#4601136 - 12/11/17 10:32 PM bad metaphors
BalticBob Offline


Registered: 11/27/16
Posts: 395
Loc: Texas
1) His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like
underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

2) He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy
who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those
boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high
schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those
boxes with a pinhole in it.

3) She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Texas beef.

4) She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

5) Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

6) He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

7) The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated came as a
rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

8) The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

9) From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie,
surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy
comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

10) Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the
grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left
Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19
p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

11) John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had
also never met.

12) Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one
that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

13) Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

14) The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law, Phil.
But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

15) The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

16) He was as lame as a duck.
Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame.

17) The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her,
like a dog at a fire hydrant.

18) He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if
she were a garbage truck backing up.

Top
#4601142 - 12/11/17 10:43 PM Re: bad metaphors [Re: BalticBob]
Linctex Offline


Registered: 12/31/16
Posts: 6178
Loc: Waco, TX
I wish I had know these when taking High School English & Literature/Writing.

My teacher had a great sense of humor... she would've loved these!
_________________________
"The evidence demands a verdict".
(Re:VOA)"it's nearly impossible to actually know the particular additives that are in there at what concentrations."

Top
#4601182 - 12/12/17 12:27 AM Re: bad metaphors [Re: BalticBob]
Panzerman Offline


Registered: 12/16/06
Posts: 4203
Loc: Port Orange, Florida
Pretty Good! Really enjoyed, Thanks!!
_________________________

2006 Dodge Ram 2500 Hemi 4x4
2016 Dodge Challenger Scat Pack

Top
#4601201 - 12/12/17 01:48 AM Re: bad metaphors [Re: BalticBob]
DoubleWasp Offline


Registered: 05/21/12
Posts: 5236
Loc: Fort Lauderdale, FL
Is it weird that in my head, all of those were narrated by Leslie Nielson?
_________________________
07 Lincoln Navigator M1 0w-40/FU
68 Charger R/T / Supercharged 440 VR1/DBL7349
07 Ram 3500 4x4 / Cummins 6.7 /DBL7349
17 Maserati GranTurismo Cabrio

Top
#4601204 - 12/12/17 02:32 AM Re: bad metaphors [Re: BalticBob]
Shannow Offline


Registered: 12/12/02
Posts: 39932
Loc: 'Stralia
Number 8 is a rip off of Douglass Adams

“The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.”



Terry Pratchet had some great ones in his stories too...

Here's some that he used in life

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/books/authors/terry-pratchett-best-quotes/

Top
#4601255 - 12/12/17 06:40 AM Re: bad metaphors [Re: Linctex]
JeepWJ19 Offline


Registered: 09/09/15
Posts: 933
Loc: PENNSYLVANIA
Should update the title to "bad similes and metaphors"

Lots of "likes" and "as" in there.
_________________________
2002 Jeep WJ 4.0 | Mobil 1 HM 5w30 |
TG8A | 2.5" lift | 148k miles

Software Engineer :]

Top
#4601256 - 12/12/17 06:42 AM Re: bad metaphors [Re: BalticBob]
Wurlitzer Offline


Registered: 04/12/17
Posts: 78
Loc: Appalachia
This all sounds like a Wes Anderson film.

Top
#4601278 - 12/12/17 07:25 AM Re: bad metaphors [Re: BalticBob]
fenixguy Offline


Registered: 02/08/17
Posts: 307
Loc: NC
Originally Posted By: BalticBob

14) The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law, Phil.
But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.


That one's actually pretty good.

Originally Posted By: DoubleWasp
Is it weird that in my head, all of those were narrated by Leslie Nielson?


Is it weird that I logged in just to make that comment???? cheers
_________________________
'16 Frontier SV 4x4-PP/Nissan OEM
'08 CR-V EX AWD-Valvoline Syn MaxLife/Fram TG
'01 Civic EX-Valvoline Syn MaxLife/Fram UG
'00 Civic LX-PYB/Fram UG

Top
#4601327 - 12/12/17 08:30 AM Re: bad metaphors [Re: BalticBob]
SubieRubyRoo Offline


Registered: 05/14/12
Posts: 1141
Loc: Winchester, Indiana
14 was my favorite as well. Probably because it's the closest to matching real life.

Top
#4601517 - 12/12/17 10:56 AM Re: bad metaphors [Re: SubieRubyRoo]
Kira Offline


Registered: 08/19/10
Posts: 5266
Loc: Champlain/Hudson Valley
I laughed a lot. #9 gets my vote.

Top
#4601538 - 12/12/17 11:21 AM Re: bad metaphors [Re: JeepWJ19]
ArrestMeRedZ Online   content


Registered: 11/11/08
Posts: 934
Loc: Las Vegas
Originally Posted By: JeepWJ19
Should update the title to "bad similes and metaphors"

Lots of "likes" and "as" in there.


Good point! I was laughing so hard I completely missed that none of them are metaphors.

A simile uses like or as. In a metaphor, one thing becomes another. All of them used like or as, except one in which it was implied.

The title of this would be "Bad Similes", but very few would associate with that, and while incorrect, "Bad Metaphors" sounds better.


Edited by ArrestMeRedZ (12/12/17 11:23 AM)
Edit Reason: Bad not good!

Top
#4601892 - 12/12/17 05:37 PM Re: bad metaphors [Re: ArrestMeRedZ]
JeepWJ19 Offline


Registered: 09/09/15
Posts: 933
Loc: PENNSYLVANIA
Originally Posted By: ArrestMeRedZ


Good point! I was laughing so hard I completely missed that none of them are metaphors.

A simile uses like or as. In a metaphor, one thing becomes another. All of them used like or as, except one in which it was implied.

The title of this would be "Bad Similes", but very few would associate with that, and while incorrect, "Bad Metaphors" sounds better.


Agreed, "Bad metaphors" sounds better than "Bad similes" haha
_________________________
2002 Jeep WJ 4.0 | Mobil 1 HM 5w30 |
TG8A | 2.5" lift | 148k miles

Software Engineer :]

Top
#4604003 - 12/14/17 11:16 PM Re: bad metaphors [Re: BalticBob]
BalticBob Offline


Registered: 11/27/16
Posts: 395
Loc: Texas
Let me get this straight......
metaphors are like a simile but only different, as Mobil 1 is like oil in another container with a different name?

Top
#4604822 - 12/15/17 07:04 PM Re: bad metaphors [Re: BalticBob]
ArrestMeRedZ Online   content


Registered: 11/11/08
Posts: 934
Loc: Las Vegas
If I recall from high school 48 years ago, a simile is a comparison using like or as. In a metaphor one thing becomes another.

Simile: The CEO charged into the boardroom like a bull, causing the Directors to cower in their chairs as he glowered at them.

Metaphor: The CEO was an angry snorting bull. He affixed the CFO in his sights and skewered him on his horns, citing his lack of support on the recent corporate acquisition.

Disclaimer. I'm an engineer, not an English major. I not write well, as Steve Martin would say.

Top
#4604931 - 12/15/17 09:21 PM Re: bad metaphors [Re: BalticBob]
Number_35 Offline


Registered: 07/07/14
Posts: 818
Loc: Winnipeg MB CA
These are outstanding! Baltic Bob, are they yours?

Top
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >