who's in charge of the checkbook in your household

[Johnny2Bad]

It's the wife's job to run the household. Most women, just like most men, fall willingly into the roles that traditionally fall to them. Some don't, but they are usually married to other women that do. That means she controls day-to-day expenses.

If she's no good at it, you take the job away from her, and do it yourself, because the traditional role of men is to insure things that need to get done are done, just like you would if she is either incompetent, unable or unwilling to take on any traditional role.

Most women are actually pretty good at it, some are disasters. Of course, you only have one wife, so that may not help you. But you're a man, you know what to do if she's not doing a decent job, right?

Right.

 

[JohnnyJohnson]

I handle the bill paying and its mostly online these days. The last checks I bought 10 years ago a box of 250. I still have 50 left.

 

[eljefino]

I write one check a month, to the phone company that offers terrible DSL and no online bill pay.

I "balance" the thing twice a year, but that's more than my wife cares to. We write all the numbers in but don't even do the math.

We share the same outlook on thriftiness, important in a relationship.

I'll drop a few hundred bucks on something junky and exciting without "asking permission" and she trusts me to make something useful from it. She starts Xmas shopping in August and won't settle on a budget but so far we aren't homeless.

 

[The motor guy]

Originally Posted By: eljefino
I write one check a month, to the phone company that offers terrible DSL and no online bill pay.

I "balance" the thing twice a year, but that's more than my wife cares to. We write all the numbers in but don't even do the math.

We share the same outlook on thriftiness, important in a relationship.

I'll drop a few hundred bucks on something junky and exciting without "asking permission" and she trusts me to make something useful from it. She starts Xmas shopping in August and won't settle on a budget but so far we aren't homeless.

She starts late, doesn't she go to home depot in July and see the Christmas trees?

 

[Andrew1972]

No wonder women walk off before they go on dates......

Good question to hopefully get perspective of a modern woman.

 

[Mr Nice]

Originally Posted By: madRiver
No wonder women walk off before they go on dates......

Good question to hopefully get perspective of a modern woman.



Yeah, very few 'traditional' housewives from the 1950's still exist today.

BOTH should always be involved with the finances / bill paying / filing of taxes, ....etc...

 

[seanf]

I make sure all the bills get paid but both of our pay gets put into the same account, we can both see everything from our respective online banking, everything is shared except for some investments we both had before we go married which can't be joint and we each have a $500 limit visa the other can't see for gifts/surprises. We have no debt besides mortgage and a $2000 line of credit balance which should be paid off in the next few months.

 

[Yah-Tah-Hey]

Originally Posted By: aquariuscsm
With us,it's completely 50-50. We're a team,what's hers is mine and what's mine is hers. Everything is "ours" so everything is "our responsibility". That's the only way it'll work out. If there's not total and complete trust and respect,forget it. Every aspect of a successful relationship has to be completely transparent.
Right on aquarius. That's the way it works. My wife contributed more than I did to our investment accounts for many years. She has her own checking account which in an investment access account on her IRA. I look at the monthly investment statement and she does the balancing on our joint investment access account. It's really low key and things have worked out good for us. We certainly aren't rich but we don't do without either.

 

[blupupher]

Originally Posted By: motor_oil_madman
So with my limited experience with women I figured I'd ask on here. I periodically have customers that talk about how their wife seems to be in charge of the budget and keeping track of the money. Sounds horrible to me, but okay. I always thought that the women spent the money oh shopping sprees, not actually keep track of it. lol

With a view like that, I can see why you are having problems with women.
Hope you are not serious.

In my household, I am in charge of the budget and such, but only because my wife is not good with numbers. She has access to everything, and knows what our budget is.

But as said above, it is our money. There is no mine or hers.
While I am the breadwinner in the home, she stays home and takes care of the kids and deals with all their stuff. well worth it to me. I have no money, only what she allows me to have, which we agree upon, we each get an "allowance" that we can waste on whatever we want. She says nothing about my oil stash, I say nothing about her craft items.

 

[MoneyJohn]

DW in our household. I used to do everything earlier but I noticed that she has more control on spending than me. So I handed over everything to her. I still look at the investments but how much goes and when is controlled by her.

 

[exranger06]

My wife and I both work and we bring home about the same amount of money. Our money is "ours," not yours and mine. I handle all the bill paying and budgeting. When I met my wife, her finances were in total disarray with lots of credit card debt and a bad credit score. I got it all paid off and fixed her credit and I've been in charge ever since. She's good with the spending now; she usually consults me if she needs/wants something and I tell her if we can afford it.

 

[supton]

I did the checkbook when we got married but when she became a stay at home mom she took over. Nowadays I will sketch out a budget for the year but pretty much stay out of money issues.

 

[CincyDavid]

My wife handles all of the monthly bills and the checkbook. I put all of my spending on my American Express unless there is a vendor who doesn't accept AMEX, then it goes on a VISA, and leave the receipts on the kitchen counter every evening. She pays everything.

I handle taxes, retirement funds and applications for new plastic...got a Hilton Honors AMEX recently to start earning Hilton Hotel points to go along with our Delta Skymiles AMEX's. Most of the CCs live in the sock drawer or safe, and only a few are in use at any given time. Each one serves a different purpose...some for cash back, some for travel rewards, one from a credit union with a really low interest rate for bigger purchases that will get paid over time.

 

[Malo83]

Momma is the CFO in this family, we got married when I was still active duty in the NAVY, we both have direct deposit into our joint account, she handles ALL and I mean ALL money matters and I have no problem with that, I have my own ATM card, not a big spender but if I need money or purchase anything all she ask's is that I save all reciepts for her to keep the books straight

 

[beanoil]

Originally Posted By: aquariuscsm
With us,it's completely 50-50. We're a team,what's hers is mine and what's mine is hers. Everything is "ours" so everything is "our responsibility". That's the only way it'll work out. If there's not total and complete trust and respect,forget it. Every aspect of a successful relationship has to be completely transparent.


Hmmm... Read this, and was inspired to talk with my lovely spouse.
After a bit we came to an agreement. The first day, I didn't see any change. I didn't see any change the second day either. By the third day though, the swelling around my eye was down enough I could make out a few shapes.....

I agree with the concept, but absolutely love the way my wife put it when we were dating. She said a relationship is 100-100. If you are not putting everything you have into it, then you should consider something or someone else. As usual, she was right, and we have 23 years together now.
BTW, there is a joint account, a his and a hers. I admit that a lot of my his goes for stuff for her.....

 

[aquariuscsm]

Originally Posted By: beanoil
She said a relationship is 100-100.


^^This for the win!! Best post in this thread.

 

[fdcg27]

Originally Posted By: motor_oil_madman
So with my limited experience with women I figured I'd ask on here. I periodically have customers that talk about how their wife seems to be in charge of the budget and keeping track of the money. Sounds horrible to me, but okay. I always thought that the women spent the money oh shopping sprees, not actually keep track of it. lol


First off, any decent woman will be employed and may make more money than you do. From time to time, that has been the case in our household.
Second, if you actually marry someone, then it should be someone who has goals and expectations in line with your own.
Finally, any successful marriage is based upon mutual trust and respect.
Therefore, it matters not who manages the checkbook and pays the bills.
We are a lifetime team pure and simple.
The views of women and relationships you reveal in your opening post seem both simplistic and naïve.
Most women have as good or better a grasp of financial realities as most men do.

 

[dareo]

When it was a two earner no kid household we had a three account system. Mine, Hers, Mutual Expenses. We made our own money and divided the mutual bills and contributed slightly more to the mutual expense account. After that we did as we pleased with our own money. Highly recommend this system so you don't fight over every little purchase your spouse makes. With a one earner, child household, i pay all the bills and siphon off a stipend for the wife to buy stuff at her discretion.

 

[AdRock]

With the wife and I everything goes into and comes out of 1 checking account. There's also a savings account and a CD we have. If one of us is going to buy something over say $100-$150 we'll let the other know. If it's a couple hundred or more we both agree before anything is paid for. The one thing I made very clear to my wife before we got married is that once married there's no more mine or hers. It's all ours.