Oil will climb significantly above the coolant temperature only under certain circumstances. You really need sustained high engine RPM to get oil temperature to rise significantly. Idling around, and even sitting in traffic, is fairly "easy" on oil from a temperature standpoint. Generally, the oil temperature will loosely correlate with your coolant temperature, but there are a lot of variables. I wouldn't consider 220 deg F abnormal for oil temperature, and it's good that it never climbs above that.
(I would guess, though, that, unless you have an external oil cooler, your oil temperature would climb if you tracked your car or otherwise drove around at high RPM all the time. Try the interstate in 3rd gear and see if the oil climbs above that mark.)