This is scary - no experience needed at quick lube

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Seriously, read that again. They want "retail or service" experience but couldn't care less if you know what you're doing. They want you to sell the gimmicks. That's all they care about. Think about that. And it's not just oil change bays.
Of course, they don't make their money on oil changes, they make it on the upselling of other products and services. If the person pays attention you can train them to do oil changes. That's really all they care about.
 
People need to start somewhere. Wrenching my own cars was part of the reason I was hired to help manufacture a parenteral (sterile for IV use) pharmaceutical in early development stages. That has blossomed into a great career for me in other areas within the pharmaceutical industry.
This is perhaps my own bias showing, but I felt that my coworkers who had done a bit of wrenching or home repair tended to well in telecom engineering.
 
I don't see anything wrong with it as long as they're looking for candidates with mechanical aptitude that have some experience wrenching on their own vehicles.
Yea-changing oil is nothing special-at least in the vehicles that people take to these places. One can be trained to do it.
 
The local VIOC place has a huge sign "hiring friendly people" they don't care if you know about cars. Then again really, it's not that hard. They straight up decline doing an oil change on any iffy vehicle. Leaking, drain plug look bad, etc? "Sorry, we aren't allowed to work on your car, you'll have to take it to a mechanic". So that pretty much solves the problem because it's hard to mess up an oil change unless something is broken already. At least around here most cars that go through there are newer/Euro cars. And I don't hear about tons of issues, mostly positive reviews. Personally I've gone there once or twice, when I've been too busy. And I know some of the people working there. I would have no hesitation sending people there... VIOC has their stuff together and if something happens, they will probably take care of it.

Although they do often try to upsell $50+ for an air filter or cabin air filter for old/basic cars. I'm not talking about cars with $40 retail price air filters, then I'd get it). Many people come in to my store which is like two blocks away and ask for air and cabin filters because "Valvoline down the street wanted over $100 to change both" and I sell them $30 worth of filters and they're happy.
 
I don’t see what is that alarming about this. Oil change guy at a quick lube shop is a pretty standard no-experience starter job for a tech iirc. I guess the automotive knowledge thing is a bit iffy but that could just thrown in there to not disqualify people who haven’t worked as mechanics. Assuming they have a good QC process and good leadership and training then a newbie shouldn’t be an issue. They don’t obviously because those places are about ramming a bajillion cars through and up selling unnecessary service but that’s why you change the oil yourself or take it to an Indy and pay more.
 
What part of VA are you in? The most entry of entry level jobs are paying $12+/hr in Richmond.
Charlottesville area. Even dealerships pay $9-12 for lube techs here. It's honestly insane just how low wages are for service industry jobs here considering just how expensive this area has become. That's everywhere though, I suppose.
 
I guarantee you, everyone they hire is getting training, including (and perhaps especially) the entry-level techs doing oil changes and other basic stuff. The problem is that they will hire just about anyone, and training doesn't make much difference if you are an idiot.
 
You have to start somewhere. The only experience I had when I started was school. Now I have seen people with no experience mess up big time. But once they learn it should be ok and most likely they will have someone working with them instead of just being alone but I’ve seen both too. My dealership will hire with no experience but they also have someone working with you too.
 
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