I need to have a discussion with you all...

[GearheadTool]

Hello, everyone. I would like to discuss my finances, and situation. I am getting frustrated.. and I feel as though I can talk relatively freely here, with the opinions offered by my fellow and esteemed BITOGers. Like I said previously: It is a new year, all is well, and I have no hard feelings towards anyone, so.. If it don't apply, let it fly. The Volvo is what it is, the T-belt is to be Priority One while I drain and fill this trans fluid, which I am even doing now but will just go ahead and do so, since that won't change the T-belt. This is about the situation as to me, domestically.

As to the situation here at home: I feel

IN BRIEF: As to this $129+ a month Internet bill.. the phone bill is also $160 or so a month. The phone bill is non-negotiable.. but the Home Cable bill.. [b[we do not watch the TV. It has not been turned on not one time since I came here. However.. I am getting resistance about dumping the service.[/b]

The amount of money wasted in that sentence alone is enough to cover a timing belt from the dealer.

I feel frustrated, as this is a joint situation.

Can we talk about how I should deal with this? I feel like pounding my head against a wall, if my efforts are this resisted. (Here at home, in an attempt to save money.)

 

[97tbird]

There should be a way to decrease that internet bill! what kind of internet service do you use?

 

[Drew99GT]

Who's stopping you?

 

[RF Overlord]

GHT, I mean no disrespect but I don't have a clue as to what you're asking...

Who supplies your phone, internet, and cable? If they're separate, many companies offer a bundle if you buy all three that may reduce your costs.

 

[GearheadTool]

Originally Posted By: 97tbird
There should be a way to decrease that internet bill! what kind of internet service do you use?


Comcast.

The issue, sir.. is that I am getting fought tooth-and-nail by my roomie.

 

[Quattro Pete]

Technically, the Volvo is not your car, correct? It belongs to the fat lady, right? If so, and you made the effort to explain to her what the car needs and she refuses to do it, then she will suffer the consequences if the TB suddenly fails.

If you're unhappy with the situation, dump her and find yourself another girlfriend.

 

[GearheadTool]

Originally Posted By: Quattro Pete
Technically, the Volvo is not your car, correct? It belongs to the fat lady, right? If so, and you made the effort to explain to her what the car needs and she refuses to do it, then she will suffer the consequences if the TB suddenly fails.

If you're unhappy with the situation, dump her and find yourself another girlfriend.


Sometimes, this is my thoughts exactly. And your insight is correct.

My frustration here is that we view the Volvo as "our" expense, and I am about to go get under it and drain and fill some ATF.. and she is giving me [censored] about how ditching a $129 service that is good, yes, but also a waste of money given the alternatives is "not acceptable."

"Not acceptable."

I just might leave. I just might.

 

[cmorr]

GHT, the fact that I know so much about your life is scary almost voyeuristic but here goes.

In your other thread(s) you mentioned that with a new credit card you would address the timing belt and purchase a new TV (am guess that was a concession to her)

Question: Why purchase a new TV if you are not using it. Bigger question, do you and your "roomie" have a predefined set of what items are paid jointly and individually. I think this and a discussion of priorities are in order. The two of you need to look at your total income and fixed monthly obligations together

 

[cmorr]

Originally Posted By: GearheadTool
I just might leave. I just might.


Uh, oh, new girl and a new car, I'm thinking sequel

 

[Quattro Pete]

Originally Posted By: cmorr
Uh, oh, new girl and a new car, I'm thinking sequel

Just ask her if her car's timing belt has been changed before you start dating her.

 

[SwampSurvivor]

I see two problems: Internet and phone bill. WHY are they so high?

See if you can get DSL for Internet - you can run netflix on it easily.

Why not do a straight talk from Walmart or other cheap, prepaid phone service?

Cable ... not a necessity.

I make okay money for a 23 year old, I'm just saddled with Student loan debt. I do my best to cut out what I can when I can.

The only reason I have a smart phone is because I'm on my parents plan and get it cheaper than I could get a "regular" phone on my own.

I pay $90 for cable an Digital cable right now. It's going to go up significantly in a few months, I'm going to cancel the cable service as i don't watch enough TV to make it worth my money.

Eating out, going out, buying new things are kept to a minumum.

I was doing pretty well until the bank stole a few $k from me.

You CAN have nice things without college degree and making a million a year. You just need to be frugal and take care of what you have ... by getting the timing belt changed.

I wouldn't pay for such a large expense on a girlfriend's car. Period. That's just me. I've bought a few quarts of ATF when the transmission had some severe issues, but that's about it. Anything more than $20 is not on me!

 

[supton]

Without a ring I'd never go in on any expense with a "roomie". No commitment is, well, no commitment. Why get tied down with obligations if it won't last? [Or if you don't know if it'll last?]

I was friends with my wife for two years, then dated for two years. Very slow moving relationship, yes, perhaps too slow. But we'd already answered every pre-marital counseling question when it came around to that, and have had a wonderful 10 years so far of marriage. Something like a DSL bill would get about 5 minutes of discussion and we'd move on--lay out the facts, make a decision, done.

Maybe some of you should shop for significant others like you shop for cars...

Anyhow, I'd ask her what her reluctance is to dropping hardly used services. Talk with, not at. You're already broached the subject, and surely she knows that you're angling at the "don't use and it costs a lot of money" aspect; perhaps she has her reasons. Find out what's on her mind. Her mind might be on other things altogether. Maybe she doesn't realize that minimizing costs in one area opens up money for other more important areas. Or maybe she thinks that once it's gone you'll never have internet again. Who knows. Asking us won't get you anywhere.

 

[SwampSurvivor]

Originally Posted By: supton
Without a ring I'd never go in on any expense with a "roomie". No commitment is, well, no commitment. Why get tied down with obligations if it won't last? [Or if you don't know if it'll last?]

I was friends with my wife for two years, then dated for two years. Very slow moving relationship, yes, perhaps too slow. But we'd already answered every pre-marital counseling question when it came around to that, and have had a wonderful 10 years so far of marriage. Something like a DSL bill would get about 5 minutes of discussion and we'd move on--lay out the facts, make a decision, done.

Maybe some of you should shop for significant others like you shop for cars...

Anyhow, I'd ask her what her reluctance is to dropping hardly used services. Talk with, not at. You're already broached the subject, and surely she knows that you're angling at the "don't use and it costs a lot of money" aspect; perhaps she has her reasons. Find out what's on her mind. Her mind might be on other things altogether. Maybe she doesn't realize that minimizing costs in one area opens up money for other more important areas. Or maybe she thinks that once it's gone you'll never have internet again. Who knows. Asking us won't get you anywhere.


There's nothing wrong with moving slow! By the time you do make that commitment, you already know everything important.

 

[GearheadTool]

Originally Posted By: cmorr
GHT, the fact that I know so much about your life is scary almost voyeuristic but here goes.

In your other thread(s) you mentioned that with a new credit card you would address the timing belt and purchase a new TV (am guess that was a concession to her)

Question: Why purchase a new TV if you are not using it. Bigger question, do you and your "roomie" have a predefined set of what items are paid jointly and individually. I think this and a discussion of priorities are in order. The two of you need to look at your total income and fixed monthly obligations together


^^^^^^^^^^^

Yes.

This.

She feels buying a new TV would be appropriate, if we make the move to antenna/Boston Metro digital converter box line-up...

The debate about Clear (Netflix) and Digital Converter box (next Pats game, we won, Go Pats) vs Comcast is for a different time....

 

[Drew99GT]

Originally Posted By: GearheadTool

She feels buying a new TV would be appropriate, if we make the move to antenna/Boston Metro digital converter box line-up...



Sounds like the TV will be used to take up bookshelf space and prove to others that she's "keeping up with the Jones's". If she's not going to watch it that much, find a broken flat screen (with the screen in tact) and stick it on your mantle. Just tell everyone you hardly watch it. I bet most big shots on MTV cribs hardly watch their 50 inch plasma TVs!

 

[eljefino]

Whose name is on the lease? Whose name is on the car title? Who pays the auto insurance? Whose name is on the electric, phone, cable, internet?

If your name is on stuff you don't want to use, just tell her to put it in her name. Then you shouldn't care if she blows it off. Is she marriage material? Do you want to inherit her debt when/ if you tie the knot?

I assume, you working at BK and living near Boston, rents are not such that you could make it on your own. So you need a strategic relationship. How are the other folks at your work pulling it off? There has to be another 20-something who lives in a one-room box and playes nintendo all night or something you could room with.

In this world with high energy and rent prices there is often not a lot of room to pare one's budget. But cell phones and cable TV are a good place to start. I pay $5/mo for Virgin prepaid phone service, it gets whittled down at about 20 cents a minute or text. But I hardly use it. You should use it basically so you can get called into work and make more $$$. Anyone else wants to talk to you, they can come over or do it online.

 

[Quattro Pete]

Something tells me GhT is more attached to this Volvo than he is to this lady, but the two are inseparable. Even though it's her car, he probably gets to use it more than she does. Cutting the ties with her would mean a step down to public transport. Alas, you can't have your cake and eat it, too.

 

[Clevy]

K. If you don't watch tv ditch it. As far as Internet can you get some form of unlimited through your phone,and tether your computers to the cell phones.
I don't have home Internet. I tether everything through my cell phone because I have unlimited data through my cell carrier.
My total for cell service,including the net costs me 70 bucks a month but I also don't watch much tv,and what I do watch I get through iPad apps.
See what your cell carrier can do so you can maybe combine 1 expense into another thereby saving a few bucks.
And tell your girl that she can't have it her way. This ain't burger king.

 

[Kestas]

GHT, your problem is deeper than the internet bill, deeper than the phone, TV, or timing belt.

My friend is an experienced psychologist. He remarks that most of the time he plays the role of debt counselor.

 

[GearheadTool]

Originally Posted By: Quattro Pete
Something tells me GhT is more attached to this Volvo than he is to this lady, but the two are inseparable. Even though it's her car, he probably gets to use it more than she does. Cutting the ties with her would mean a step down to public transport. Alas, you can't have your cake and eat it, too.


^^^ If I can solve this quibble, I get to keep on using my Volvo.

And, another Q: Any way to get ONLY INTERNET through Comcast? NO Phones NO TV? (Zip 02189)

Originally Posted By: Clevy
And tell your girl that she can't have it her way. This ain't burger king.

Sir.. if you are EVER at Logan International in Boston MA, you *NEED* .. no, are *REQUIRED* to let me know! I am coming in the Volvo you know everything about by now and we are going STRAIGHT to a local bar to