I cant find happiness in my life anymore

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Originally Posted By: LT4 Vette
Yeah, make sure its a red convertible like mine.
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You guys suck.
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For my mid life crises my wife would only let me get a bike....the pedal kind.....at age 50 got back into one of my younger passions.

Now, I am too old to have a real midlife crises. Darn it!
 
I know it feels hard to do, but just try to look at all the positive things in life and don't get bogged down by negative thoughts. I went through a real rough patch in 2009 and 2010, first I lost my job (and it took six months to find a new one), then a month later my mom died of cancer. Then in 2010 my wife of ten years told me she didn't see a future for us. At first that seemed like the worst thing in the world, but in the end it was a blessing, as I really wasn't truly happy with her and we were not well matched at all. Fast forward to the beginning of 2011 and I decided not to let life pass me by so I joined up on Plenty of Fish and starting dating again. Even though the first few women I met were not a perfect match for me, it still gave me a lot of confidence being in the dating world again. Then in November 2011, thanks to Plenty of Fish, I met my soulmate! We instantly clicked and have been together every single day since we met, we are inseparable! In March I moved in with her and on April 13th I asked her to marry me! I have never been this happy in my entire life, and yet just a short time ago I was feeling the lowest of the lows.

I just thought I'd tell my story to let you know that just when you think life has dealt you a rough hand, it can all turn around very quickly just the same! Now I wake up every morning with a smile on my face and I have a much more positive outlook. My new motto is "Life is Good!"
 
Originally Posted By: TooManyWheels
Originally Posted By: Rock_Hudstone
Originally Posted By: doitmyself
TooManyWheels said:
Here's the truth. Some people have brain chemistry that is deficient in allowing correct processing of thoughts.
Medications and/or a combination of medication/counseling can allow you to manage the illness.

Ugh, you mean medications like Zolof, Prozac, and such?
Aren't there class action lawsuits going with those? That would be a last resort in my opinion.



Anti-depression drugs are no different than any other drugs, they have their benefits and their side effects. But if you have the problem they fix, there is no substitute for them. People have very different reactions to the different meds, however.


Yes, Rock Hudstone (love your name) those are just some of the medications available.

Balance and moderation to all things in life applies to these meds, like all other solutions......unfortunately the stigma of "pill popping solutions" and "10 steps to success" over shadows good medicine. I would imagine many/most family doctors are not qualified to prescribe these meds. and would suggest to find a psychiatrist, as they are experts in the medication area (Psychologists cannot prescribe meds).

Like other illnesses, there are wholistic/homeopathic treatments for mental issues too. That's a personal decision. What else can I say?

Last resort? How about an educated resort? Remember how one is always successful in finding a lost item in the last place one looked? If you would have looked there first, think how much time you would have saved!

Take care.
 
I know what you mean. For a couple months I've just not felt right. I've no reason to feel depressed or just bleah. I have a good job now, and nothing wrong going on in my life. But for some reason, a lot of the time I just don't feel like doing anything. The only time I feel good really is when I'm outside in the sun. I think I might have a serious vitamin D Deficiency. I'm going to my GP as soon as I can because something is definitely not right.
 
Another thought; To win friends, male and female, you should have something to offer in return. It can't just be "I'm lonely and depressed, be my friend".

This can be as simple as being a good listener, people love to talk about themselves, ask them questions, show a genuine interest in their lives. Don't start dumping your tale of woe on them unless they specifically ask, and even then be brief and try to focus on the good things.

People are naturally attacted to those who are fun to be with or whom they can seek out for special skills, insight, or advice.
It also helps to stay well read and informed so you can carry on interesting, intelligent conversations.
 
Originally Posted By: Rock_Hudstone
I'd start getting more sun and take a 5000 iu supplement daily.

Should have been more clear on that; 5000 iu Vitamin D3. Walmart sells them.

Takes a few weeks for the levels to build up in your system so don't expect instant results.
 
I have had bouts of depression since I was a teen ager. Unemployment just made it worse. When I got diagnosed with breast cancer, everybody suggested anti-depressants. I have been taking 40mg of generic Celexa for 3 yrs. It works well. The glass is half full. The only noticeable side effect was that my cheeks hurt from the perpetual grin. That went away as soon as I got some muscle tone in the cheeks. At least see a doctor. God, Jesus, and I get along fine. But doctors are keeping me going
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Originally Posted By: Donald


Try an open AA meeting


I was going to post that. Usually someone who is a loner and has problems with people also has alcohol/drug problems too for self-medicating "pain relief".
Are you one of those too Carnoobie? I was...... I'm a 23 yr AA myself.

PM me if I can help. I'm down near Windsor, ON

Bob R
 
I had a friend whom earned the nickname 'Nega-tor'

Everything that came out of his mouth was negative. His favorite thing was to talk to someone else just as negative and talk about how much everything sucked. How something won't work right, all the possible things that will probably go wrong with any endeavor attempted.

Then he'd complain how he had so few friends, and then he make bad decision after bad decision and blame everyone and everything around him.

He is no longer my friend.

Just saying, it is difficult to be around a negative person, and it certainly is no way to make friends.

Negativity breeds failure and more negativity.

Get out of your Man cave, quit playing video games, and quit attempting to be happy through material gain.

Your life is an accumulation of experiences, not possessions. Unless your possessions directly increase your chances of having better experiences, guess what winds up owning who?

Go travel on a shoestring budget, get out of your 'comfort' zone and go experience something new. Leave your negative former self in your Man cave.

Now if I could only take my own advice.....
 
@carnoobie:


Try not to focus on whats lacking, but on what's good. Sounds like all your basic needs are met, and you also have plenty of material comforts.

VERY IMPORTANT, unless you feel SERIOUSLY DEPRESSED...DO NOT TAKE any of the so called anti depression pharma [censored], it doesn't change your reality, and in many cases the side effects can be as bad or worse than the issues you feel you have! That being said stay away from mood altering drugs and excessive drinking.

I'm pretty much right where you are. I really don't like the way our societies are going, people have in general become VERY self centered and totally thoughtless towards others.

I have tried to extend myself but it never works out, when I have I have been repeatedly burned by supposed friends. There is no doubt it is ugly out there, but if you know you are a decent human being at some point it is likely you will find a couple of decent companions if not close friends, I'm with neither as well right now but I've found that sometimes it's better to be alone than with so called friends that aren't.
 
Depressions a tough thing to deal with. A physical ailment can give you pain and motivate you to deal with the problem. Depression takes away your drive so you let it continue to get worse. You need a big kick in the rear to help you get started.

Do you have any family who can help? You say you have no friends, but are there any people who were good friends in the past who you've been ignoring but might be willing to help if you were to tell them what's going on? If not, then you have to do it yourself.

If you are in a position to do so, make an appointment to see a head shrinker. They have an education and experience that helps them figure out what will or won't work for you. If the first one isn't able to help you after three months or so, go find a different one. I know a few people who've been through a half dozen before they found one who was able to make everything work.

If you can't bring yourself to do that, well, going it alone is a lot harder. Do you need a new challenge? Do you need to move to a warmer climate? You're in a dark place where it's very hard to see where the way out is. If you need medication, you're not going to be able to do that on your own.
 
You'll see that many of us have been through this before...things can be rough, but they can only get better. You just have to get out there and do what you can. Lots of good advice in this thread, so I won't dare repeat it again...

I've even gone through a very rough patch a few years back, and it was a very, very tough. For a guy who expects a lot of of himself, I felt like a total failure. But with the help of my wife, family, and friends, I got through it. I may not have a bunch, but I'm thankful for what I have, which finally includes a nice house to live in. And a little man who I love dearly, and is a funny goof just like his dad. And a wife who has been a stone to keep me going.


I'm just a decent job (doesn't have to be a real high paying one) away from being simply happy with everything. Which I'm working on like crazy right now..

Trust me, it will take time, but you will get there...
 
Developing new interests/hobbies can help a lot...
try something new...like learning to play an instrument/take lessons...guitar/piano etc...

Or reading can help a lot, too...

Lots of good suggestions, but like someone said, chemical imbalance is the reason...churches/religion won't help - might actually makes things worse even.

Talking to a therapist/doctor is a good idea.
 
Originally Posted By: LT4 Vette
Maybe you are just bashful at asking women out ?

You shouldn't compare yourself with others in your age group that live a different lifestyle (married, wife, kids, career, accomplishments.... etc) cause that will only make you depressed. Its very difficult to find genuine friends that are not opportunists and only want to use people when its convenient. I understand when you say its hard to find good people to hang out with.

How are you paying your rent and bills if you are not currently working ?

I agree that you need to stop spending money if you are bored or feeling blue.




Ive been off work for a month now, looking hard.

Originally Posted By: Rock_Hudstone

Those video games rot your brain, throw them in the garbage and kick in the TV.

I was just reading an article the other day how much time is spent these days by many boys, and men, playing video games, something on the order of 6-8 hours a day on average I believe. A whole generation of socially akward zombies is being created. Its an addition.

Their social skills suffer to the point where they don't know how to interact act with real people anymore. Not saying this is the case with you but it can't be helping matters and you may not recognize it anyway.

Also, sometimes when you try too hard to be friends with people right away it can scare them off.


Ya on my weekends I probably play 3 to as much as 6hrs a day. But this is if im working, but i know still. I pretty much have no life.
 
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Like others have said, you sound depressed. Definitely consider seeing a psychologist or a psychiatrist, especially if you have any thoughts of hurting yourself.
 
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Originally Posted By: JC1
You need to start immersing yourself in motivational speakers. Turn off the video games and get on youtube.

Check out Zig Ziglar, Jim Rohn and Les Brown for starters.

Here is a video you can check out. It'll put a smile on your face.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y28VE032F40&feature=related

Hang in there, you need to change what you are doing to head where you want to go!

Regards, JC.


Watching right now thanks
 
I feel bit better just reading the suggestions, thanks. Im going to church on Sunday and going to call around tommorow and see if theres any volunteering available right now. Even if its just a few hours a couple times a week im sure itll make me feel a lot better.
 
If you want to really laugh,check out Shirley Q Liquor on Youtube!!!!!! :^) I laughed so hard I couldn`t breathe!!!!!!!!!!
 
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