Aussie joke

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sprintman

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From the mouth of Aboriginal comedian King Billy Cokebottle

I was travellin in the outback one day with my friend Morton, when off in the distance we sees a booze bus (police). (RBT Random Breath testing)

Morton thinks this is great and heads straight for it.

We pulls up and Morton winds his window down and says "Two cans of Emu Export thanks mate!"

The copper looks at me and Morton and says "You must be drunk! Get out of the car and blow into this bag for me."

Morton got out of the car and said "Sorry boss, I can't blow in that. I got a letter from the doc saying I'm asthmatic and I'll pass out if I blow in that."

The cop looks at him and with a bemused look and says "OK. In these cases we require you to give a blood sample."

"Nah nah sorry boss. Can't be doin that. I got a letter from the Red Cross saying I'm a Hemophiliac and I could bleed to death. Sorry boss, can't do that" said Morton.

By now the copper is getting fairly p1ssed off and finally demands a urine sample for testing.

Morton looks at him and says "Sorry boss, can't do that either."

The copper says "Surely you can't have a letter for that!!! "

"Bloody oath mate." says Morton. "It's from the government. Says that you whites can't take the p1ss out of us Black Fellers."
 
taking the pi~~ = To ridicule or mock

ie the coppers aren't allowed to ridicule the natives, so therefore King Billy doesn't have to give a urine sample.

In this case. I was only referring to what a fine multi-use word pi~~ has evolved into.
 
Yep.

You can be driving along and get pulled over and breath tested. Oft happens if they don't like your car or look. If you have an accident where a person is injured, or a car needs towing, the Police must attend and both drivers tested (The party that blows over the legal limit is always at fault in an accident).

Other times, they will have a "booze-bus" set up at the side of the road, and pull over every single car travelling the road for a fully random inspection.

My first breath test was driving home from Midnight Mass, and hour and 10 minutes after my licence came into effect.

Personally I don't have much of a problem with it.

Except the time a cop took exception to my vehicle, and flagged me across three lanes of packed traffic, and then got dark that I came to a dead stop while he cleared the traffic for me to get across.

Another time I was going way too fast and slid into the breath test station sideways. Cop cut me a deal. If zero, then all was forgiven. If over, then I would go a row of brick dunnies.

Running from a breath test will have you automatically charged DUI. Leaving the scene of an accident will get you automatically charged DUI. You can refuse a breath test, but only if you accompany them to a blood test.
 
Wow. That actually seems pretty bad to me. Another privacy/right that the Australians have lost (as with gun ownership). I think it's pretty unreasonable for the police to be able to pull you over for no particular reason. How about searching the vehicle?...do they need consent?

Here, they have to have "reasonable cause" to pull you over like swerving, erratic driving, etc. Or just a broken tail light... They do have "DUI check points" that they set up randomly but they have to publish the time/locations for these a few days in advance.

Sounds like you got a break with the check point cop...or else we wouldn't be talking right now...
wink.gif
 
Really I've got no problem with the random testing. Usually they won't stop a person unless they are behaving erratically (or they have a low loud car like I used to).

As to vehicle searches (and gun ownership), that adds a whole new light to it. I've got legal firearms, and am a comittee member of my club.

When I get pulled over, and the cop radios through my registration plate number, he will get the kurt message "may be armed" (not is treasurer of the rifle club). That adds a whole new tension to the stop.

I had one guy (holster unclipped) request to search the car, which I denied him. Still got a ticket even though I wasn't speeding. My father had an interesting pullover driving home from a game of squash. His licence and ID were in his sports bag in the trunk. Cop had heard "may be armed", and here's a sweaty 58 year old trying to access the trunk allegedly to get ID. That standoff lasted nearly 15 minutes.

But they are not allowed to search the car unless they've got a reasonable expectation of finding something, or a warrant.
 
Quote:

Here, they have to have "reasonable cause" to pull you over like swerving, erratic driving, etc. Or just a broken tail light...

Click to expand...


That's why 80% of all California drivers can be pulled over at any time!
laugh.gif
 
In the above listed table, notice how the percentage has dropped since over half the states have passed concealed carry laws allowing average law abiding citizen the ability to carry a firearm on their person. Not that that many do, but now the thugs don't know who does and who doesn't, and for the most part they're a pretty gutless bunch of bastids.

Bob
 
Quote:

99.9% of us are particularly glad we don't have gun rights.

Click to expand...

It's amazing that people actually want to be at the mercy of their government... Do you have a study for your %?

Also, the stat's that you listed are for homicides in general, and are not the listings for murders with a gun. I would love to see the stat's for murders/violent crime right after the last purging of gun rights in Oz. I bet they are not pretty.

Mori - that applies to Nevada as well!!
smile.gif
 
Every aussie I've met (that's not a metrosexual) owns more guns and shoots more than the average American I know. They also are the 1st to bring up if it wasn't for the US they would be eating sushi right now. Guess that generation of aussie is starting to fade away.
 
Tempest,

Statistics have been skewed by the inclusion of suicides with firearms as firearm deaths. Since the buy-out, suicides with firearms are way down (lack of access), while people are topping themselves at record rates, just not using guns.

Makes for an improvement in the firearm crime rates 'though.

Safest sport in the country (as recognised by the insurance industry) is target shooting at a range.
 
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