I never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women differ
so much. And I never figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women think with
their heart. I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets
thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do"
FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't
feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT???!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every
husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my
emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs
as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just
love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one
to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.
We went to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings. Let me tell you, she was so excited, she must have thought I
was one wave short of a shipwreck.
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, lets go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I
blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went
completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT??!!!"
I then said "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough
for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had
this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just
love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I won't be having sex again until sometime after pigs fly
over a frozen **** .
so much. And I never figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women think with
their heart. I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets
thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do"
FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't
feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT???!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every
husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my
emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs
as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just
love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one
to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.
We went to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings. Let me tell you, she was so excited, she must have thought I
was one wave short of a shipwreck.
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, lets go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I
blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went
completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT??!!!"
I then said "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough
for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had
this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just
love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I won't be having sex again until sometime after pigs fly
over a frozen **** .
