Government Contracting

[Johnny]

Government Contracting

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House in D.C. -- one from New Jersey , another from Tennessee and the third, from Florida . They go with a White House official to examine the fence.

The Florida contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. 'Well', he says, 'I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me.'

The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, 'I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me.'

The New Jersey contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, '$2,700'.

The official, incredulous, says, 'You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?'

The New Jersey contractor whispers back, '$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence.'

'Done,' replies the government official.

And that, my friends, is how it all works!

 

[Vilan]

 

[Kernel Potter]

I didn't realize the private contractors in Iraq that have been ripping off the American tax payer blind, ARE all from New Jersey

 

[zulu]

I'm lauging my a&# off at this because I work for the government, and this is more true than humor. Your hard earned tax dollars at work...

 

[wavinwayne]

Although it is a complicated business arrangement, I currently work for a government contractor. Every good joke must have an element of truth, and this one is no different. I see this sort of stuff everyday. It's not always malicious; sometimes you just have to do things a little "different" in order to get the job done.

 

[Shannow]

Worked in Contracts for 16 years, on the Principal's side of 99% of them, and spend $8-$20M a year.

I can recall one time, and that was 15 years ago, where a colleague was offered what was then a considerable sum of money to overlook some commissioning defects...his counter offer was to take the offeree out the back, and beat him to death for even suggesting that he thought a bribe would be considered.

But in the rail industry, the described story has been seen on the idjit box with monotonous regularity.

 

[JustinH]

I work for a government contractor for a secret project.

During the slow season, the government pays us to have 100 people ready to do work, and if the work doesn't show up, they send us home with full pay.

I'm up to 9 weeks vacation so far.

 

[crinkles]

Originally Posted By: JustinH
I work for a government contractor for a secret project.

During the slow season, the government pays us to have 100 people ready to do work, and if the work doesn't show up, they send us home with full pay.

I'm up to 9 weeks vacation so far.


any vacancies come up recently?