Would you let a teenager house sit?

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How about the "abusive" brother?

Is he abusive, or just tired of her sleeping through life?

Can he be trusted?

I wouldn't let her in your house, let alone mine.
 
Seriously? Your wife doesn't understand it's a bad idea to use your house as an experiment to see if a teenager can be responsible? Ask her if she's ready to repair the house after this teenager advertises a house party on facebook.
 
raytseng,
Good advice and kind thoughts. Unfortunately we are leaving tomorrow so no time for a dry run.

Jenny, I hear you and agree. How do I tell my wife and her friend so I'm not the bad guy here (or is this unavoidable and I just have to bite the bullet)?
 
Teens can do some really stupid stuff. My nephew died while house sitting because he tried huffing paint. He probably would have lived had he not been alone. And this was a very bright kid just doing something stupid for the first time.
 
It isn't your issue that this young girl can't get along with her brother. So after the week when you return, then what? She still won't get along with her brother. You don't have to be "delicate" with your wife. Just say "NO" and let that be the end of it.
 
Would I let a responsible teenager house sit? Sure, as long as they are responsible and trustworthy. We have had a teenager house sit for us a number of times, and we will do again in the future. She has done an outstanding job taking care of the place, taking care of the dogs (she loves them like they are her own), and when we were in Italy for 3 weeks a couple years ago we came back to a mowed and trimmed lawn and a weeded garden.

Would I let an irresponsible teenager house sit? No.
 
Ok so after I got home, I just had some straight talk with the wife. She wasn't happy and said she would have made a different choice but she understood and would abide by my wishes. She'd talk to her friend tonight.

Thanks for all the advice/thoughts/comments.
 
Originally Posted By: VeeDubb
raytseng,
Good advice and kind thoughts. Unfortunately we are leaving tomorrow so no time for a dry run.

Jenny, I hear you and agree. How do I tell my wife and her friend so I'm not the bad guy here (or is this unavoidable and I just have to bite the bullet)?


You're not being the bad guy - you're being the responsible guy. Aside from the fact that you're safeguarding YOUR home and belongings from someone who cannot make good decisions, this young woman is not prepared to take on these duties. Putting gasoline in a car overtaxed her, so the burden that can come with taking care of a house could (and probably would) be far too overwhelming. It's unfair to challenge her with something like this just because people feel she's chronologically of age. She is not mentally of age, and that's what counts. Housesitting is a fairly simple task, but can involve worst-case scenarios that require a quick thinking adult. Fires, break-ins, busted water heater, power-outages, leaky roof, idiot-friend-wanting-to-party, yada-yada. These things happen, and this girl cannot handle them. She is the type of person that needs hand-holding and one-on-one training for nearly everything. Throwing her at situations and hoping she'll figure it out will fail, and actually make her feel worse about herself.

And if they push you on it - be the bad guy. The risk of something going wrong is far too high, for you, and for this young woman.

Originally Posted By: VeeDubb
Ok so after I got home, I just had some straight talk with the wife. She wasn't happy and said she would have made a different choice but she understood and would abide by my wishes. She'd talk to her friend tonight.

Thanks for all the advice/thoughts/comments.


Good to hear!
 
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This young lady doesn't sound like a good candidate for a service you don't really need anyway.
It's not as though you need to worry about the heat going out and having pipes freeze and then rupture at this time of the year.
Letting someone who has shown a lack of common sense have the run of your house as a favor to your wife's friend seems like a bad idea.
There'd be less risk involved in just locking the doors and leaving the house empty.
No reason for anyone to get angry for your having declined a service you don't need offered by a provider of suspect ability.
No reason for you to accept incremental risk just to help out a divorced woman who has problems with her children.
I'm assuming that this would have to be the situation based upon the facts you've presented.
Maybe the father of these kids should get involved?
 
Originally Posted By: VeeDubb
Not just any teenager but an 18 year old that seems to be sleep walking through life even though she is not on drugs. Basically, she is not really paying attention as she chugs through the day.

Example 1: went to fill up her mom's car. Grabbed the diesel pump (car is not a diesel) and discovered it wouldn't fit in the fill hole. Thought she was doing it wrong and basically forced the pump nozzle into the fill hole damaging the hole and filling the non- diesel with diesel.

Example 2: was making a U turn in a driveway with sharp rocks lining the edges. Hit a rock and heard a pop (tire blowout) and kept on driving to a friend's house on a flat. (Said she thoughtthe pop sound was weird and the car drove funny but thought it was no big deal).

Anyways the wife has asked if she can house sit and I am afraid this girl will burn the house down.

Am I being paranoid?


You got to be kidding!

I wouldn't let that kid near your house, in fact I'm not sure I'd let her in the yard!
 
Yes divorced mom. Good reading between the lines. Mother is a very inconsistent parent bouncing from yelling and commanding her kids to do what she wants to hand holding when things get tough. Coddles the kids. The girl is a freshman in college, home during summer break. Mother is dropping big dollars for kid to go to a mid-ranked private school with an army of counselors to hold her hand so she can avoid the big bad public university where "she is just a number." Kid wanted to major in business but is afraid to because 1 calculus class is on the curriculum. Mom instantly signed off so she is some type of art major that will probably leave her unemployed upon graduation. It's sad to watch the train wreck unfold.
 
A fine arts major is not necessarily a bad thing, although basic calc is pretty easy with a little bit of personal effort.
There are lots of bus majors coming out every year and not so many in the arts.
The average arts major can do the entry level jobs most of the bus majors can land while the bus majors can't qualify as arts teachers in our schools, and I think we all want things like art and music to be offered to our kids and grandkids.
In this case, it sounds as though dad needs to step up to the plate and take a role with his children.
Can't blame the mom for doing the whole job as best she can while the father is out there taking no responsibility at all.
She is probably personally stressed, knowing that while her middle-aged ex will have no trouble finding younger women to hook up with her chances of finding a decent man in her situation are somewhere between slim and none.
It's a shame that so many people treat marriage and children as an experiment these days.
It's an even greater shame when unmarried people bring children into this world.
One hates to question people's morals, but once young lives are involved, the decision to leave rather than to work things out has a significant moral dimension.
 
any way you can leave for overnight and she watches the house and something, canary? etc. so you see how she does on something simple? Or, she comes by several days to help your wife with heavy cleaning and your wife works with her and supervises her. Her real parent may not be a god instructor either.
 
Of course you are right. I didn't mean to belittle the arts. It was more how quickly her mom let's her kids give up if there are any challenges. The young lady started out *wanting* to be a business major but saw that the curriculum might be a little difficult. So she figured she'd do art because she was on the dance team in high school.

In any case, I like the mom generally. She is funny and good to socialize with. She does do her best with the kids but it's sad to see regardless because it probably won't turn out well for the kids. The boy has already been arrested and he goes to one of the best high schools in the state and lives in an affluent neighborhood. Dad is MIA living somewhere out of the country.
 
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