Anybody delt with Alzheimers or Dementia?

[addyguy]

I'm really sorry to hear all this, Chris. I think the best way to look at it is that your dad is safe now - you don't have to worry all the time about him. Some pretty talented people are keeping him happy, and the periods where he is mad and confused are most likely a lot shorter.

I've seen that 1976 Camaro in the background of a few of your truck shots - I was hoping you'd restore that one and put it back on the road. It'll get beaten to death as a race car - ah well, at least it gets one more go 'round!

 

[3311]

Originally Posted By: stockrex
chris, I lost my dad to it and I truely understand what you are going through.
we have an epidemic of dementia going around.
step 1: educate yourself and family if you have not done already.
step 2: don't be depressed, seeking help is good for everyone,
step 3: keep an eye on your emotional health and your mother and those around him as it will take a heavy toll. the last few stages are most damaging for both parties.

I work with Dr Sherzai at Loma Linda, he and his peers are leading research in the disease, Dr Sherzai lost both grand parents to it. We have little insight into the disease.

what works: diet, memory patches, excercise. some days are better than others.
research into memory patches and ask physician...

The only part I will disagree is the "no vist for xxxx days" pls be involved in his care from day 1. and go and visit him daily, talk to him, read to him. help him through this change pls.
+1

 

[3311]

Chris,
I'm sorry for your situation. I've seen it first and my prayers are with you. I've been able to get through some amazingly tough situations in my life by believing, as many have, essentially that strength is how much you can take and keep going.

Don't beat yourself up over decisions that have to made. Just making them is important. Steal every good memory and moment you can along the way and stay strong for your family. After all nothing else in this world really matters.

 

[Chris142]

Still depressing but things are looking better. Dads doing as expected in his new digs. Still have not been able to visit him.

Tonight was the first time in probly 20 years that I was able to sit on the porch and watch the sun set! I've still got a long way to go with cleaning up dads clutter. A week ago you could not open this door to get out of the house.

He wouldn't throw anything away no matter how broken or worn out it was. I bet that I threw away 500 burned out light bulbs, a dozen or so thin brake rotors, brake pads worn to the metal. Etc

 

[addyguy]

Originally Posted By: Chris142
Still depressing but things are looking better. Dads doing as expected in his new digs. Still have not been able to visit him.

Tonight was the first time in probly 20 years that I was able to sit on the porch and watch the sun set! I've still got a long way to go with cleaning up dads clutter. A week ago you could not open this door to get out of the house.

He wouldn't throw anything away no matter how broken or worn out it was. I bet that I threw away 500 burned out light bulbs, a dozen or so thin brake rotors, brake pads worn to the metal. Etc

Sounds like an episode of 'hoarders'.....

 

[onebigunion]

Originally Posted By: Chris142
Still depressing but things are looking better. Dads doing as expected in his new digs. Still have not been able to visit him.

Tonight was the first time in probly 20 years that I was able to sit on the porch and watch the sun set! I've still got a long way to go with cleaning up dads clutter. A week ago you could not open this door to get out of the house.

He wouldn't throw anything away no matter how broken or worn out it was. I bet that I threw away 500 burned out light bulbs, a dozen or so thin brake rotors, brake pads worn to the metal. Etc

I've never heard of the no visiting thing. I guess they think it adds to the confusion of all the changes?? My wife is a nurse in a dementia wing of a residence, and that was something she hadn't heard of it either.

 

[addyguy]

Hey Chris,

Did you get to visit your dad yet? Did it go okay?

 

[TooManyWheels]

Originally Posted By: Chris142

Tonight was the first time in probly 20 years that I was able to sit on the porch and watch the sun set!


Do that often, it is what you need most. You will no doubt be thinking about the ideas of phases and passages, as you somewhat alluded to about the searching for titles for cars you used to be very familiar with.

It will be tough, though. When my Dad was in the hospital prior to passing away, my Mother and I would take turns with him. Me in the day, her at night. A few days before he passed, I came home to the dark house and it hit me like a load of bricks that he was never coming home, and the decades of life patterns and the essence of what I had known in that home would never, ever be the same again.

I'm not ashamed to say that I just sat and cried. Although it wasn't pleasant, it was undoubtedly better than having the emotions hidden and come floating up when I was even less prepared to deal with them. Give yourself what you need in this area.

 

[Touring5]

Originally Posted By: TooManyWheels


...... A few days before he passed, I came home to the dark house and it hit me like a load of bricks that he was never coming home, and the decades of life patterns and the essence of what I had known in that home would never, ever be the same again......


That hits home with me. Shortly after my mom got to the point that she no longer knew who I was, it hit me similarly. It took a while to realize that I was grieving - even though she was physically alive, I had lost her.

It's kind of funny now, but during that same time frame I was coming up from the basement when it suddenly hit me that I'd never taste her macaroni and cheese again. At that moment it was truly sad.

 

[paulo57509]

Dementia is a terrible thing for a family to have to go through. When I was younger, I recall my Grandma going from being really angry at the onset, to becoming blissfully happy when it completely took hold.

Grandma moved in with my family back around 1965. In 1980 or thereabouts, she broke her hip and became bedridden. A few years later the dementia set in. Being a Japanese-American family (this will become relevant in the next paragraph), a nursing home was out of the question and Mom took care of her.

I remember one day when I came home from school, Mom and Grandma were arguing. Grandma was telling Mom that she had gotten a letter from the Emperor's court and that he was being held hostage in Peking. Grandma had to leave RIGHT NOW and join the rescue party. They were arguing back and forth and the conversation ended like this:

"Do you know where Peking is?"

"No."

"Peking is in China."

"Oh. In that case, I'm not going."