Home

May he rest in yeast

Posted By: Kestas

May he rest in yeast - 06/06/18 02:43 AM

Dear friends,

It is with the saddest heart that I pass on the following. Please join
me in remembering a great icon.

The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and
complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly-greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities
turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry
Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and
Cap'n Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours as long- time
friend, Aunt Jemima, delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man
who never knew how much he was kneaded.

Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled
with turnovers. He was not considered a very "smart" cookie, wasting
much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky
at times, he -- even still, as a crusty old man -- was considered a roll
model for millions.

Toward the end, it was thought he would rise again, but alas, he was no
tart.

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough; two children, John Dough
and Jane Dough; plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by
his elderly father, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about twenty minutes.
Posted By: 4WD

Re: May he rest in yeast - 06/06/18 02:48 AM

I feel enriched
Posted By: Aichiguy

Re: May he rest in yeast - 06/06/18 02:51 AM

Thanks.
Posted By: PeterPolyol

Re: May he rest in yeast - 06/06/18 02:57 AM

The oven timer waits for no man
Posted By: Shannow

Re: May he rest in yeast - 06/06/18 03:05 AM

Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan
arrives at her door.
"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya".
"Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my
husband?"
"That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda. There was an accident
down at the Guinness brewery"
"Oh, *** no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me."
"I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry.
Finally, she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen, Tim?";
"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout, and
drowned."
"Oh my dear *****! But you must tell me true, Tim, did he at least go
quickly?"
"Well, Brenda, no. In fact, he got out three times to pee."
Posted By: spasm3

Re: May he rest in yeast - 06/06/18 03:14 AM

He never met a pan he didn't like.
Posted By: PeterPolyol

Re: May he rest in yeast - 06/06/18 03:15 AM

LOL
Posted By: JohnnyJohnson

Re: May he rest in yeast - 06/06/18 03:23 AM

I think we can rise above it
Posted By: Snagglefoot

Re: May he rest in yeast - 06/06/18 03:25 AM

It was a slice.
Posted By: RTexasF

Re: May he rest in yeast - 06/06/18 01:16 PM

What a bunderful story. LOL LOL
Posted By: ARCOgraphite

Re: May he rest in yeast - 06/06/18 04:21 PM

I was rolling on the flour!
Posted By: 28oz

Re: May he rest in yeast - 06/06/18 07:19 PM

He died? I thought he got butter?


*hangs head in shame*
Posted By: SirTanon

Re: May he rest in yeast - 06/06/18 07:19 PM

He really was among the upper crust. Let's all raise our glasses for a toast.
Posted By: RTexasF

Re: May he rest in yeast - 06/12/18 01:08 PM

I don't know........I heard he could be A bit of a heel and crusty at times.
Posted By: Kira

Re: May he rest in yeast - 06/13/18 11:24 PM

Nobody remembers his motto:

Let them eat cake...PLEASE!"
© 2019 Bob Is The Oil Guy