Is this a "normal" request in a will?
- Thread starter Lolvoguy
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Yeah, funerals bring out the best in families. At the step Bro in Law's one a few years ago, we had security guards at the funeral, and back at the house. His brother last year had no funeral, just carted off to the toaster and nothing at all. The MIL organised a get together 10 days later, and it was actually a pretty good day....notably because the remaining brother was not present.
Not normal to ban certain family members from attending a viewing. Setting it up so the named family member(s) cant attend if they show up would require the executor of the will to do some work.
It would possibly cause a scene no one wants and make things worse. My dad is a retired attorney and I'm visiting him today. Maybe I'll ask him and respond back with more.
It would possibly cause a scene no one wants and make things worse. My dad is a retired attorney and I'm visiting him today. Maybe I'll ask him and respond back with more.
Originally Posted by Lolvoguy
To request that certain members of family not be permitted to a funeral service?
Or in cases like this, do some just request to not have a service at all?
...just wondering. No particular reason I suppose.
I see nothing wrong with it and to honor the wishes of the departed.The funeral business is the biggest scam there is.The funeral home won't make much money from me. I have specified and want no visitation and a basic gravesite service for immediate family members only. No hearse. I want to be loaded into MY pickup and driven to the cemetery by a family member. If family or friends only want to gather at funerals, I don't want them around when I am laid out.
To request that certain members of family not be permitted to a funeral service?
Or in cases like this, do some just request to not have a service at all?
...just wondering. No particular reason I suppose.
I see nothing wrong with it and to honor the wishes of the departed.The funeral business is the biggest scam there is.The funeral home won't make much money from me. I have specified and want no visitation and a basic gravesite service for immediate family members only. No hearse. I want to be loaded into MY pickup and driven to the cemetery by a family member. If family or friends only want to gather at funerals, I don't want them around when I am laid out.
Last edited:
Originally Posted by Lolvoguy
To request that certain members of family not be permitted to a funeral service?
Or in cases like this, do some just request to not have a service at all?
...just wondering. No particular reason I suppose.
Yes. It's normal not to want a person the deceased or family did not like banned from funeral.
To request that certain members of family not be permitted to a funeral service?
Or in cases like this, do some just request to not have a service at all?
...just wondering. No particular reason I suppose.
Yes. It's normal not to want a person the deceased or family did not like banned from funeral.
You gone, it doesn't matter.
The Funeral or any gathering is for the Family and siblings.
Whatever makes you comforted and gives you a sense of closure.
This is no time for silly hijinks or hateful posturing..
And remember to Celebrate a person while they are living -
Posthumous platitudes are for the History books ...
The Funeral or any gathering is for the Family and siblings.
Whatever makes you comforted and gives you a sense of closure.
This is no time for silly hijinks or hateful posturing..
And remember to Celebrate a person while they are living -
Posthumous platitudes are for the History books ...
I guess it depends on how you want to be remembered.
As grudge holding and angry, even after death?
Or as open and loving, as a turn the other cheek kind of spirit.
I'd choose the latter.
As grudge holding and angry, even after death?
Or as open and loving, as a turn the other cheek kind of spirit.
I'd choose the latter.
I hear you spasm3 but I'd have no problem with an evil, dishonest person being banned from any function.
As noted above however, an enforcement situation could be created.
One way to accomplish said "bans" would be to designate the people who COULD ATTEND, issue admission tickets and use a turnstile.....and a bouncer.
ANECDOTE: The son of a deceased woman asked ME to prevent his perennially drunk brother-in-law from entering the service at a church.
I declined. (sorry if anyone was expecting a soap opera)
As noted above however, an enforcement situation could be created.
One way to accomplish said "bans" would be to designate the people who COULD ATTEND, issue admission tickets and use a turnstile.....and a bouncer.
ANECDOTE: The son of a deceased woman asked ME to prevent his perennially drunk brother-in-law from entering the service at a church.
I declined. (sorry if anyone was expecting a soap opera)
Originally Posted by ARCOgraphite
You gone, it doesn't matter.
The Funeral or any gathering is for the Family and siblings.
Whatever makes you comforted and gives you a sense of closure.
This is no time for silly hijinks or hateful posturing..
And remember to Celebrate a person while they are living -
Posthumous platitudes are for the History books ...
Can't add to this.
You gone, it doesn't matter.
The Funeral or any gathering is for the Family and siblings.
Whatever makes you comforted and gives you a sense of closure.
This is no time for silly hijinks or hateful posturing..
And remember to Celebrate a person while they are living -
Posthumous platitudes are for the History books ...
Can't add to this.
Yea, I don't want my direct boss anywhere near my funeral. An entire career of unnecessary and uncalled-for difficulties, troubles and personal expenses will generate such feelings. Everybody else is welcome!
It's normal to desire the people you like and to exclude those you don't. How it actually works out is not really possible to control.
It's normal to desire the people you like and to exclude those you don't. How it actually works out is not really possible to control.
Having mine at Honda museum/Motegi
https://www.tripadvisor.com/Attract...i_Haga_gun_Tochigi_Prefecture_Kanto.html
https://www.tripadvisor.com/Attract...i_Haga_gun_Tochigi_Prefecture_Kanto.html
I've been to a wedding and funeral that had armed citizens everywhere. Quite pleasant and peaceful with no arguing. Thinking back, that was in Wyoming
Originally Posted by Lubener
Originally Posted by Lolvoguy
To request that certain members of family not be permitted to a funeral service?
Or in cases like this, do some just request to not have a service at all?
...just wondering. No particular reason I suppose.
I see nothing wrong with it and to honor the wishes of the departed.The funeral business is the biggest scam there is.The funeral home won't make much money from me. I have specified and want no visitation and a basic gravesite service for immediate family members only. No hearse. I want to be loaded into MY pickup and driven to the cemetery by a family member. If family or friends only want to gather at funerals, I don't want them around when I am laid out.
Funeral service is the biggest scam there is 🤔
Please explain......I'm dying to know
Originally Posted by Lolvoguy
To request that certain members of family not be permitted to a funeral service?
Or in cases like this, do some just request to not have a service at all?
...just wondering. No particular reason I suppose.
I see nothing wrong with it and to honor the wishes of the departed.The funeral business is the biggest scam there is.The funeral home won't make much money from me. I have specified and want no visitation and a basic gravesite service for immediate family members only. No hearse. I want to be loaded into MY pickup and driven to the cemetery by a family member. If family or friends only want to gather at funerals, I don't want them around when I am laid out.
Funeral service is the biggest scam there is 🤔
Please explain......I'm dying to know
Originally Posted by Lolvoguy
To request that certain members of family not be permitted to a funeral service?
Or in cases like this, do some just request to not have a service at all?
...just wondering. No particular reason I suppose.
Obnoxious and self centered request.
To request that certain members of family not be permitted to a funeral service?
Or in cases like this, do some just request to not have a service at all?
...just wondering. No particular reason I suppose.
Obnoxious and self centered request.
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Originally Posted by spasm3
I guess it depends on how you want to be remembered.
As grudge holding and angry, even after death?
Or as open and loving, as a turn the other cheek kind of spirit.
I'd choose the latter.
When we enter 'the other side', love and happiness are much more present. But what also comes along with us is 'regrets'.
We have to 'clean-up' all those regrets, before entering the white light. Atonement is mandatory there, to be spiritually cleansed.
Faith in our living world matters-not. No requirement of being past religious. One can be an atheist there. Even mass murderers of our age, are eligible for atonement. Even Dahmer.
I guess it depends on how you want to be remembered.
As grudge holding and angry, even after death?
Or as open and loving, as a turn the other cheek kind of spirit.
I'd choose the latter.
When we enter 'the other side', love and happiness are much more present. But what also comes along with us is 'regrets'.
We have to 'clean-up' all those regrets, before entering the white light. Atonement is mandatory there, to be spiritually cleansed.
Faith in our living world matters-not. No requirement of being past religious. One can be an atheist there. Even mass murderers of our age, are eligible for atonement. Even Dahmer.
Originally Posted by Lubener
Originally Posted by Lolvoguy
To request that certain members of family not be permitted to a funeral service?
Or in cases like this, do some just request to not have a service at all?
...just wondering. No particular reason I suppose.
I see nothing wrong with it and to honor the wishes of the departed.The funeral business is the biggest scam there is.The funeral home won't make much money from me. I have specified and want no visitation and a basic gravesite service for immediate family members only. No hearse. I want to be loaded into MY pickup and driven to the cemetery by a family member. If family or friends only want to gather at funerals, I don't want them around when I am laid out.
You are my kind of guy Lube. I want wife/executor to take ashes to cemetery and dump them at the headstone. Preferably at night with a good breeze. Don't want exec to have to pay funeral home for interring ashes in a vault. Why is a vault required for ashes in an urn? So that mortuary can make the big $$$ that's why. You are so right about funeral business being a "scam." They have influential lobbyist. An alternate interment would be someone taking a post hole digger and placing ashes/urn whatever in the plot. Another alternate which I think is the best is for wife/exec is to dig a hole in our garden. I just can't see paying out the $$$ to have someone dig a hole, set a vault(what a joke) and place ashes in it. Even Billy the Kid had to use a gun. The funeral homes do provide a needed service, but the cost is way out of hand. It shouldn't cost 8/15 thousand dollars to put a corpse/ashes in the ground. Regards.
Originally Posted by Lolvoguy
To request that certain members of family not be permitted to a funeral service?
Or in cases like this, do some just request to not have a service at all?
...just wondering. No particular reason I suppose.
I see nothing wrong with it and to honor the wishes of the departed.The funeral business is the biggest scam there is.The funeral home won't make much money from me. I have specified and want no visitation and a basic gravesite service for immediate family members only. No hearse. I want to be loaded into MY pickup and driven to the cemetery by a family member. If family or friends only want to gather at funerals, I don't want them around when I am laid out.
You are my kind of guy Lube. I want wife/executor to take ashes to cemetery and dump them at the headstone. Preferably at night with a good breeze. Don't want exec to have to pay funeral home for interring ashes in a vault. Why is a vault required for ashes in an urn? So that mortuary can make the big $$$ that's why. You are so right about funeral business being a "scam." They have influential lobbyist. An alternate interment would be someone taking a post hole digger and placing ashes/urn whatever in the plot. Another alternate which I think is the best is for wife/exec is to dig a hole in our garden. I just can't see paying out the $$$ to have someone dig a hole, set a vault(what a joke) and place ashes in it. Even Billy the Kid had to use a gun. The funeral homes do provide a needed service, but the cost is way out of hand. It shouldn't cost 8/15 thousand dollars to put a corpse/ashes in the ground. Regards.
Originally Posted by Silk
Yeah, funerals bring out the best in families...........one a few years ago, we had security guards at the funeral, and back at the house.
Unbelievable. Why do people have to be such worthless human beings?
Yeah, funerals bring out the best in families...........one a few years ago, we had security guards at the funeral, and back at the house.
Unbelievable. Why do people have to be such worthless human beings?
If you don't want someone at your funeral?...have the guts to tell them when you are alive. Don't put that on your family in a stressful time.
"Requests" in your will are unenforceable and are the mark of a control freak.
"Requests" in your will are unenforceable and are the mark of a control freak.
Originally Posted by ammolab
If you don't want someone at your funeral?...have the guts to tell them when you are alive. Don't put that on your family in a stressful time.
"Requests" in your will are unenforceable and are the mark of a control freak.
That, or hire Luca Brasi for your funeral
If you don't want someone at your funeral?...have the guts to tell them when you are alive. Don't put that on your family in a stressful time.
"Requests" in your will are unenforceable and are the mark of a control freak.
That, or hire Luca Brasi for your funeral
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