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Is this a "normal" request in a will? #5458887 06/21/20 01:42 AM
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Lolvoguy Offline OP
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To request that certain members of family not be permitted to a funeral service?
Or in cases like this, do some just request to not have a service at all?

...just wondering. No particular reason I suppose.


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Re: Is this a "normal" request in a will? [Re: Lolvoguy] #5458890 06/21/20 01:55 AM
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Silk Offline
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Yeah, funerals bring out the best in families. At the step Bro in Law's one a few years ago, we had security guards at the funeral, and back at the house. His brother last year had no funeral, just carted off to the toaster and nothing at all. The MIL organised a get together 10 days later, and it was actually a pretty good day....notably because the remaining brother was not present.


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Re: Is this a "normal" request in a will? [Re: Lolvoguy] #5458913 06/21/20 05:09 AM
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skyactiv Offline
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Not normal to ban certain family members from attending a viewing. Setting it up so the named family member(s) cant attend if they show up would require the executor of the will to do some work.
It would possibly cause a scene no one wants and make things worse. My dad is a retired attorney and I'm visiting him today. Maybe I'll ask him and respond back with more.


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Re: Is this a "normal" request in a will? [Re: Lolvoguy] #5458914 06/21/20 05:11 AM
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Lubener Offline
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Originally Posted by Lolvoguy
To request that certain members of family not be permitted to a funeral service?
Or in cases like this, do some just request to not have a service at all?

...just wondering. No particular reason I suppose.

I see nothing wrong with it and to honor the wishes of the departed.The funeral business is the biggest scam there is.The funeral home won't make much money from me. I have specified and want no visitation and a basic gravesite service for immediate family members only. No hearse. I want to be loaded into MY pickup and driven to the cemetery by a family member. If family or friends only want to gather at funerals, I don't want them around when I am laid out.

Last edited by Lubener; 06/21/20 05:13 AM.

The "thinking" man's friend.
Re: Is this a "normal" request in a will? [Re: Lolvoguy] #5458924 06/21/20 05:51 AM
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Mr Nice Offline
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Originally Posted by Lolvoguy
To request that certain members of family not be permitted to a funeral service?
Or in cases like this, do some just request to not have a service at all?

...just wondering. No particular reason I suppose.


Yes. It’s normal not to want a person the deceased or family did not like banned from funeral.

Re: Is this a "normal" request in a will? [Re: Lolvoguy] #5458977 06/21/20 08:11 AM
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ARCOgraphite Offline
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You gone, it doesn't matter.

The Funeral or any gathering is for the Family and siblings.

Whatever makes you comforted and gives you a sense of closure.

This is no time for silly hijinks or hateful posturing..

And remember to Celebrate a person while they are living -

Posthumous platitudes are for the History books ...


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Re: Is this a "normal" request in a will? [Re: Lolvoguy] #5458995 06/21/20 08:28 AM
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spasm3 Offline
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I guess it depends on how you want to be remembered.

As grudge holding and angry, even after death?

Or as open and loving, as a turn the other cheek kind of spirit.

I'd choose the latter.


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Re: Is this a "normal" request in a will? [Re: Lolvoguy] #5459021 06/21/20 08:49 AM
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Kira Offline
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I hear you spasm3 but I'd have no problem with an evil, dishonest person being banned from any function.

As noted above however, an enforcement situation could be created.

One way to accomplish said "bans" would be to designate the people who COULD ATTEND, issue admission tickets and use a turnstile.....and a bouncer.


ANECDOTE: The son of a deceased woman asked ME to prevent his perennially drunk brother-in-law from entering the service at a church.

I declined. (sorry if anyone was expecting a soap opera)

Re: Is this a "normal" request in a will? [Re: ARCOgraphite] #5459033 06/21/20 09:01 AM
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Al Offline
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Originally Posted by ARCOgraphite
You gone, it doesn't matter.

The Funeral or any gathering is for the Family and siblings.

Whatever makes you comforted and gives you a sense of closure.

This is no time for silly hijinks or hateful posturing..

And remember to Celebrate a person while they are living -

Posthumous platitudes are for the History books ...

Can't add to this.


Re: Is this a "normal" request in a will? [Re: Lolvoguy] #5459039 06/21/20 09:04 AM
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Cujet Offline
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Yea, I don't want my direct boss anywhere near my funeral. An entire career of unnecessary and uncalled-for difficulties, troubles and personal expenses will generate such feelings. Everybody else is welcome!

It's normal to desire the people you like and to exclude those you don't. How it actually works out is not really possible to control.


People who count on their fingers should maintain a discreet silence.
Re: Is this a "normal" request in a will? [Re: Lolvoguy] #5459075 06/21/20 09:44 AM
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Re: Is this a "normal" request in a will? [Re: Lolvoguy] #5459080 06/21/20 09:46 AM
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I've been to a wedding and funeral that had armed citizens everywhere. Quite pleasant and peaceful with no arguing. Thinking back, that was in Wyoming LOL


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Re: Is this a "normal" request in a will? [Re: Lubener] #5459129 06/21/20 10:54 AM
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Originally Posted by Lubener
Originally Posted by Lolvoguy
To request that certain members of family not be permitted to a funeral service?
Or in cases like this, do some just request to not have a service at all?

...just wondering. No particular reason I suppose.

I see nothing wrong with it and to honor the wishes of the departed.The funeral business is the biggest scam there is.The funeral home won't make much money from me. I have specified and want no visitation and a basic gravesite service for immediate family members only. No hearse. I want to be loaded into MY pickup and driven to the cemetery by a family member. If family or friends only want to gather at funerals, I don't want them around when I am laid out.


Funeral service is the biggest scam there is 🤔

Please explain......I’m dying to know

Re: Is this a "normal" request in a will? [Re: Lolvoguy] #5459141 06/21/20 11:17 AM
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madRiver Offline
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Originally Posted by Lolvoguy
To request that certain members of family not be permitted to a funeral service?
Or in cases like this, do some just request to not have a service at all?

...just wondering. No particular reason I suppose.


Obnoxious and self centered request.

Re: Is this a "normal" request in a will? [Re: spasm3] #5459161 06/21/20 11:57 AM
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Triple_Se7en Offline
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Originally Posted by spasm3
I guess it depends on how you want to be remembered.

As grudge holding and angry, even after death?

Or as open and loving, as a turn the other cheek kind of spirit.

I'd choose the latter.

When we enter 'the other side', love and happiness are much more present. But what also comes along with us is 'regrets'.
We have to 'clean-up' all those regrets, before entering the white light. Atonement is mandatory there, to be spiritually cleansed.

Faith in our living world matters-not. No requirement of being past religious. One can be an atheist there. Even mass murderers of our age, are eligible for atonement. Even Dahmer.


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