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War of 1812 #5352233 02/16/20 10:40 PM
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 397
pkunk Offline OP
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Posts: 397
WAR OF 1812 AT WALMART

Yesterday, I wore my Korea Veteran cap to Wal-Mart. There was nothing in particular that I needed at the world's largest retailer; but, since I retired, trips to "Wally World" to look at the Walmartians is always good for some comic relief. Besides, I always feel pretty normal after seeing some of the people that frequent the establishment. But, I digress, . . . enough of my psychological fixations.

While standing in line to check out, the guy in front of me, probably in his early thirties, asked, "Are you a Viet Nam Vet?"
"No," I replied.

"Then why are you wearing that cap?"

"Because I couldn't find the one from the War of 1812 . . ." I thought it was a snappy retort.

"The War of 1812, huh?" the Walmartian queried, "When was that?"

God forgive me, but I couldn't pass up such an opportunity. "1946," I answered as straight-faced as possible.

He pondered my response for a moment and responded, "Why do they call it the War of 1812 if it was in 1946?"

"It was a Black Op. No one is supposed to know about it." This was beginning to be way fun!

"Dude! Really?" He exclaimed. "How did you get to do something that COOOOL?"

I glanced furtively around me for effect, leaned toward the guy and in a low voice said, "I'm not sure. I was
the only Caucasian on the mission."

"Dude," he was really getting excited about what he was hearing, "that is seriously awesome! But, didn't you kind
of stand out?"

"Not really. The other guys were wearing white camouflage."

The moron nodded knowingly.

"Listen man," I said in a very serious tone, "You can't tell anyone about this. It's still 'top secret' and I shouldn't
have said anything."

"Oh yeah?" he gave me the 'don't threaten me look.' "Like, what's gonna happen if I do?"

With a really hard look I said, "You have a family don't you? We wouldn't want anything to happen to them, would we?"

The guy gulped, left his basket where it was and fled through the door. The lady behind me started laughing so hard
I thought she was about to have a heart attack. I just grinned at her. After checking out and going to the parking lot,
I saw dimwit leaning in a car window talking to a young woman. Upon catching sight of me he started pointing excitedly
in my direction.

Giving him another 'deadly' serious look, I made the 'I see you' gesture. He turned kind of pale, jumped in the car and
sped out of the parking lot.

What a great time! Tomorrow I'm going back wearing my Homeland Security cap.

Whoever said retirement is boring? You just need to wear the right kind of cap!

See you guys at Walmart!!

Last edited by M56959; 02/17/20 05:22 AM. Reason: Removed political commentary

8200 ft elevation in the Sangre de Cristos
2008 Mini Cooper Clubman (toad)
2000 Mercedes ML320
1994 Dodge 2500 Cummins
1999 Ford F53 V10 Coachman Motorhome 34ft
Re: War of 1812 [Re: pkunk] #5352234 02/16/20 10:43 PM
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 1,859
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FordBroncoVWJeta Offline
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Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 1,859
Sounds like this guy didn't make it past middle school.


2017 Volkswagen Jetta 1.4T - 2015 Honda CRV 2.4 - 2012 Volkswagen Jetta 2.0 - 2007 Chevy Trailblazer 4.2 - 2003 Ford Taurus 3.0 Vulcan
Re: War of 1812 [Re: pkunk] #5352244 02/16/20 10:57 PM
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 11,220
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spasm3 Offline
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Posts: 11,220
Hilarious !


13 elantra 81k 5w30 synpwr
03 chevy avalanche 83k synpwr 5w30
17 mazda cx-5 17000 miles synpwr 5w30
Re: War of 1812 [Re: pkunk] #5352273 02/16/20 11:58 PM
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 855
T
The_Nuke Offline
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Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 855
I seriously doubt that gentleman votes in any elections.


2012 Charger Pursuit aka "The Bacon Hauler"
- 5.7L + NAG1 (A5) + 3.07 (215mm)
Re: War of 1812 [Re: pkunk] #5352283 02/17/20 12:28 AM
Joined: Aug 2018
Posts: 510
G
GZRider Offline
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Joined: Aug 2018
Posts: 510
Next time you see Professor Walmart tell him you have a top secret recording he can watch about the war, and then hand him a low res copy of Iron Sky.

Re: War of 1812 [Re: pkunk] #5352289 02/17/20 12:46 AM
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,420
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rubberchicken Offline
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R
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,420
Oh my- Iron Sky smile I had forgotten about that movie.

Re: War of 1812 [Re: pkunk] #5352306 02/17/20 01:50 AM
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 22,967
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ZeeOSix Offline
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Joined: Jul 2010
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LoL ... he might have thought you were some kind of weird guy at Walmart. wink laugh. Yep Walmart is entertaining at times, heading there tomorrow for some fun.

Re: War of 1812 [Re: pkunk] #5352313 02/17/20 03:02 AM
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 286
F
FT92 Offline
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Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 286
really makes you wonder

Re: War of 1812 [Re: The_Nuke] #5352338 02/17/20 06:09 AM
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,036
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Sierra048 Offline
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Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,036
Originally Posted by The_Nuke
I seriously doubt that gentleman votes in any elections.


For our future and survival I hope not.


2014 Nissan Frontier
2014 GMC Sierra 1500
Re: War of 1812 [Re: pkunk] #5352409 02/17/20 08:26 AM
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 809
Driz Offline
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Posts: 809
I don’t think you have to worry about the voting aspect. Unless they’re handing out free booze n butts at the polls we’ve got nothing to worry about.

Re: War of 1812 [Re: pkunk] #5352430 02/17/20 08:40 AM
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 15,650
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supton Offline
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Joined: Nov 2008
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I wonder if you guys ever look up the word "gullible" in the dictionary and find a mirror. I've read this story or any of a variant like it for decades now.


2011 Toyota Camry, base, 2.5L/6MT, 203k, hers
2010 Toyota Tundra DC, 4.6L/6AT, 158k, ours
1999 Toyota Camry LE, 2.2L/4AT, 223k, his
Re: War of 1812 [Re: pkunk] #5352431 02/17/20 08:40 AM
Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 2,513
M
mk378 Online Content
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M
Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 2,513
That war actually started in 1811. The British attacked ahead of schedule, hoping the Americans wouldn't show up.

Last edited by mk378; 02/17/20 08:40 AM.
Re: War of 1812 [Re: pkunk] #5352526 02/17/20 10:00 AM
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 8,714
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andyd Offline
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 8,714
Great story! Pkunk thank you! The Fridge needs a battery. I was dithering over a MAXX from WalMart. Thanks for helping me decide


'16 Camry LE STP synth 0w20 and STP filter. the Fridge

1994 Ranger ,the Rat, 5w30 dino, STP filter

'16 Camry SE, Valvoline HM 0w20 and OEM filter
Thick oil is better grin2
Re: War of 1812 [Re: Sierra048] #5352536 02/17/20 10:15 AM
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 3,837
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WyrTwister Offline
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Originally Posted by Sierra048
Originally Posted by The_Nuke
I seriously doubt that gentleman votes in any elections.


For our future and survival I hope not.

Pretty much what I was thinking !


Wyr
God bless
Re: War of 1812 [Re: The_Nuke] #5352539 02/17/20 10:17 AM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 687
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cb450sc Online Content
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 687
Originally Posted by The_Nuke
I seriously doubt that gentleman votes in any elections.

Oh yes he did! And Happy Family Day to my fellow Canucks.

Last edited by cb450sc; 02/17/20 10:20 AM.
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