45 Colt in standard pressure smokeless loadings is in a lot of ways the tamest of the three. In a single action(SAA) type frame, what I was taught, and what I tell other people who handle mine, is to "let it roll." Basically the grip is made in such a way that it will "roll" in your hand if you're holding it right, and this lessens the felt recoil. BTW, I have loaded and shot SAAs with black powder(usually around 37gr Goex FFF in a modern solid head case) and it packs more of a punch to your hand than a typical smokeless load.
You CAN get stronger-than-normal guns chambered in 45 Colt. The Ruger Blackhawk and old model Vaquero are two such guns. Those can be safely loaded much more stoutly than a Colt-type frame. I still have some that are something like 27gr of Win 296 under a 250gr softpoint-those can be a handful, and there's a reason why I've only shot about half of the 50 or so I loaded several years ago
. Of note on those-they launch a heavier projectile than a 44 Mag at roughly the same velocity out of the same length barrel, and they actually do so at a somewhat lower peak pressure than a similarly loaded 44 Mag. Buffalo Bore sells ammunition like this pre-loaded if you don't handload.
44 Mag can range from anything to painful in the super light scandium guns to not that bad in something like a Ruger Redhawk or even a long barrel S&W 29. The only one I have now is an S&W "Mountain Gun", which has a 4" tapered barrel. It can be a handful with a full power magnum load.
Snub 357s can be a bit "flippy" in my experience and difficult to control, but once you get to a 4" barrel or so in a mid-size frame(something like an S&W 19) they get a lot more controllable. 357 Mag is one of my favorite calibers, and all around it's my choice for a self defense revolver. Among other downsides, though, it's loud, and to me loud in a way that a 44 Mag or hot 45 Colt isn't. I can't quite place it, but the report is a fair bit "sharper" than the lower pitched "boomier" 44 Mag.