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Do you live with a narcisist? #5319510 01/11/20 10:00 AM
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callbay Offline OP
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Best read on having a spouse that is a narcissist I have ever read.


https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...710/the-survival-guide-living-narcissist


My question is what are you experiences with living with one, or having one in the family, or even friends that are one? Do you have any advise for people that live with a narcissist?


Thanks a lot!

Re: Do you live with a narcisist? [Re: callbay] #5319515 01/11/20 10:06 AM
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Mad_Hatter Offline
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Run..run away as fast as you can, if you can. A person with a true narcissistic personality (disorder) will do more harm to you and sow nothing but problems into your life. Individuals like this can actually be genuinely dangerous. If you can't, for whatever reason, get that person out of your life than I'd suggest seeing your Dr for a Rx of xanax or maybe take up drinking, dunno.. because at some point you will almost certainly become a victim of or see shrapnel/fallout from their I/me/my personality.

Last edited by Mad_Hatter; 01/11/20 10:12 AM.
Re: Do you live with a narcisist? [Re: callbay] #5319540 01/11/20 10:30 AM
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Inked Online Content
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Worked with a few during my lifetime. The upheaval they create in the workplace can be difficult at best.


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Re: Do you live with a narcisist? [Re: callbay] #5319563 01/11/20 10:52 AM
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JGmazda Offline
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Yes, agree with the above post. It's a rough road to follow!

From the article below - https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...710/the-survival-guide-living-narcissist

"Narcissists lack “object constancy:” In essence, this means that the moment that your narcissistic mate feels something negative, it disrupts the positive connection between you, and everything positive flies out the window. Your whole positive history with them and everything nice that you have ever done for them is now totally out of their awareness. You are left wondering how this can happen: one minute your mate is totally loving and the two of you are so happy, the next minute your mate hates you."


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Re: Do you live with a narcisist? [Re: Inked] #5319579 01/11/20 11:07 AM
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Originally Posted by Inked
Worked with a few during my lifetime. The upheaval they create in the workplace can be difficult at best.


Yep … more likely to work with one …

Re: Do you live with a narcisist? [Re: callbay] #5319590 01/11/20 11:17 AM
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John_K Offline
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This is my mother in law. We ran away years ago and are better for it.


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Re: Do you live with a narcisist? [Re: callbay] #5319593 01/11/20 11:23 AM
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I worked with one at the nuke plant. He thought of himself as god's gift to welding. Nobody could weld better than him. One day, one of his welds failed x-ray, and they called me in to repair it. He first cussed out the x-ray tech claiming he didn't know how to use his equipment and there was nothing wrong with his weld. He then turned his attention to me saying I better not touch his weld. I followed what my supervision told me to do, cut the weld out, and rewelded the pipe. It passed with my weld. From then onward for a few months, he had a vendetta against me. I caught him swapping my welding rods with ones from a different batch (which could get me banned from nuke work for life). A coworker caught him changing the settings on my welding machine while I was on break. My supervisor received an "anonymous" tip that I was doing drugs on the job site. The resulting drug test was clean as a whistle, no concerns, but there was no doubt in my mind that it was him. The crew we were on got split up and he was sent to another crew in a different containment building. He quit shortly afterward. I learned a few months back that he died of a heart attack in 2017.


"He who is without oil, shall throw the first rod." - Compressions 9:1
Re: Do you live with a narcisist? [Re: callbay] #5319596 01/11/20 11:27 AM
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spasm3 Offline
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Its unfortunate, but they are toxic to relationships and even though its not their fault, there is no real treatment or therapy. They just don't have empathy. Its worse when they are a parent. The children suffer.


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Re: Do you live with a narcisist? [Re: callbay] #5319599 01/11/20 11:30 AM
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JLTD Offline
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Was married to one for too long. That article was spot on.


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Re: Do you live with a narcisist? [Re: callbay] #5319648 01/11/20 12:02 PM
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Worked with one or two over the years.


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Re: Do you live with a narcisist? [Re: callbay] #5319666 01/11/20 12:09 PM
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Yes, .... I'm single and live alone


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Re: Do you live with a narcisist? [Re: callbay] #5319671 01/11/20 12:11 PM
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65f100 Offline
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Basically, if you want to keep them around, you have to cater to them. This is a classic example of how codependents behave. If you don't want them around, simply hold them accountable for their actions.

Re: Do you live with a narcisist? [Re: spasm3] #5319683 01/11/20 12:20 PM
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Originally Posted by spasm3
Its unfortunate, but they are toxic to relationships and even though its not their fault, there is no real treatment or therapy. They just don't have empathy. Its worse when they are a parent. The children suffer.

Their behavior is absolutely their fault. They choose how they treat people. My ex wife is a narcissist and was constantly emotionally abusive and often physically abusive with me. She had many, many opportunities to choose the right path and she always chose not to. You can't choose the faults you're both with, but you can choose how you treat people. Narcissists are a cancer and unfortunately they seem to never choose to be miserable by themselves.


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Re: Do you live with a narcisist? [Re: IronMaidenRules] #5319694 01/11/20 12:31 PM
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Papa Bear Offline
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Originally Posted by IronMaidenRules
Their behavior is absolutely their fault. They choose how they treat people.


Their behavior is their fault but I'm not sure they have a choice as you know it.


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Re: Do you live with a narcisist? [Re: IronMaidenRules] #5319696 01/11/20 12:33 PM
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doitmyself Offline
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Originally Posted by IronMaidenRules
Originally Posted by spasm3
Its unfortunate, but they are toxic to relationships and even though its not their fault, there is no real treatment or therapy. They just don't have empathy. Its worse when they are a parent. The children suffer.

Their behavior is absolutely their fault. They choose how they treat people. My ex wife is a narcissist and was constantly emotionally abusive and often physically abusive with me. She had many, many opportunities to choose the right path and she always chose not to. You can't choose the faults you're both with, but you can choose how you treat people. Narcissists are a cancer and unfortunately they seem to never choose to be miserable by themselves.

I disagree. Many serious personality disorders are the result of a physically malfunctioning brain. Think of it like an electrical circuit board with defective parts that don't allow the electrical paths to be completed. Sometimes medications can aid to allow the circuits to operate better. Sometimes therapy can allow the person to circumvent the faulty circuits and manage the process better.

Saying that people can choose to not be like this is no different than saying that a person can choose to not have genetically disposed heart disease, diabetes, etc.. Some people can lessen their risks with lifestyle changes, but many cannot avoid it no matter their diet and lifestyle.

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