Recent Topics
Let’s see how this looks after 4 seasons
by Bettez88 - 11/15/19 11:04 AM
Interstate batteries problems
by JimPghPA - 11/15/19 09:49 AM
2008 Dodge Ram 3500, first sample
by A_Harman - 11/15/19 09:44 AM
Steelers/Browns
by CourierDriver - 11/15/19 09:04 AM
Beard care in cold weather?
by pandus13 - 11/15/19 08:39 AM
Door Sill protection for new car - which one?
by henni - 11/15/19 08:18 AM
Exterior Home Security Cameras?
by Gebo - 11/15/19 08:13 AM
5w-20 ok for GMC 6.2l ?
by jdw1222 - 11/15/19 08:02 AM
M. Defender vs Cont. TrueContact Tour?
by lukejo - 11/15/19 07:53 AM
Alternative for Lexus Toyota WS
by Joephu - 11/15/19 06:19 AM
F1 - 2019 Brazilian Grand Prix
by gofast182 - 11/15/19 06:10 AM
2019 i30 Nline 1.6T and first service (1500km)
by rov137 - 11/14/19 10:11 PM
Garbage Disposal Replacement
by bunnspecial - 11/14/19 09:58 PM
Nest thermostat
by miden851 - 11/14/19 09:06 PM
2011 G37X
by maverickfhs - 11/14/19 08:27 PM
Recommendations for oil filter
by dawgn86 - 11/14/19 07:38 PM
2001 Subaru Outback $2,300 OBO
by 14Accent - 11/14/19 07:16 PM
Brake Friction Code List
by 92saturnsl2 - 11/14/19 07:14 PM
Accord reached a milestone today!
by mclasser - 11/14/19 06:59 PM
Newest Members
DjS71, Akhunter, rov137, Dorisy, DesktopDave
69870 Registered Users
Who's Online Now
96 registered members (2004WJ, 14Accent, 1978elcamino, Aichiguy, 77GrandPrix, 9 invisible), 1,950 guests, and 31 spiders.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics297,439
Posts5,115,824
Members69,870
Most Online3,589
Nov 2nd, 2019
Donate to BITOG
Print Thread
Hop To
So you need a new engine? #5247397 10/22/19 05:40 PM
Joined: Nov 2018
Posts: 1,605
S
Skippy722 Online Happy OP
OP Online Happy
S
Joined: Nov 2018
Posts: 1,605
A friend shared this on FB, so I can’t take credit. crackmeup

General Motors: Oh you need an engine? Pick any from a junkyard, from a vaguely similar car or truck within 10 years of yours. Everything should fit perfectly

Chrysler: Oh you need an engine? Well, every single one is year and model and trim specific. **** you, that's why.

Ford: Oh you need an engine? Just buy a parts vehicle it's probably like $175. Fords hold value worse than Bitcoin

Toyota: Confirm your diagnosis you probably don't need an engine

Mitsubishi: Oh you need an engine? Okay, here's a used one, but it's going to burn oil too

Volkswagen: How does this engine cost more than the car what the f***

Honda: Confirm your diagnosis you probably don't need an engine. If you do, just grab some quarters and head over to a junkyard.

Subaru: I'm sorry sir, every single Subaru owner just came and bought all of our used motors. The memes are true.

Nissan: -implying that a Nissan transmission would last long enough to kill an engine

Jaguar: Well now you know why you got a LuxUrY CaR sO cHeAp


2016 Chrysler 300S v6
2018 Dodge Grand Caravan GT

Slight Mopar obsession
Re: So you need a new engine? [Re: Skippy722] #5247411 10/22/19 05:53 PM
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 886
9
97prizm Offline
Offline
9
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 886
The German makes this sounds about right, however federally it's illegal to install an engine that's older than the vehicle.


If at first you don't succeed fail fail again. (Waldorf and Statler.)
1997 Geo Prizm...DEAD
1984 Mazda RX-7 Spec 7
2005 Dodge Neon
Re: So you need a new engine? [Re: 97prizm] #5247433 10/22/19 06:08 PM
Joined: Nov 2018
Posts: 1,605
S
Skippy722 Online Happy OP
OP Online Happy
S
Joined: Nov 2018
Posts: 1,605
Originally Posted by 97prizm
The German makes this sounds about right, however federally it's illegal to install an engine that's older than the vehicle.


It’s just a joke.


2016 Chrysler 300S v6
2018 Dodge Grand Caravan GT

Slight Mopar obsession
Re: So you need a new engine? [Re: Skippy722] #5247470 10/22/19 06:36 PM
Joined: Aug 2018
Posts: 366
G
GZRider Offline
Offline
G
Joined: Aug 2018
Posts: 366
This is hilariously accurate! There are several owners with Nissan VQ37's pushing 350k+ miles without a rebuild, and every one of them has a manual transmission car. You'd be more likely to find the Amber Room or the Ark of the Covenant then a Jatco automatic shifting right with 250k miles.

Re: So you need a new engine? [Re: Skippy722] #5247484 10/22/19 06:45 PM
Joined: Aug 2018
Posts: 366
G
GZRider Offline
Offline
G
Joined: Aug 2018
Posts: 366
Ford: Hey Panther Bodies are buy two get one free every Tuesdays at the auction, Resale? We bought Volvo and made it worse let that sink in. VW: Great news, it's not the engine, we just need a signature and $6k to diagnose all the electrical gremlins. Good news is a vape bro will always buy the car off you. Honda: Do be sure to service the replacement engine at our dealership, we clearly did such fine work the last time, but the car is worth something so there's that. KIA/Hyuandi: Great news, we are covering the engine cause are machining processes made a Chevy Vega look well built and now the car just needs these few ie $3500 or so other things. Infiniti: Hey what's $5k among friends for the 90k service, the car still costs less then MB, BMW and Audi. What's that? Oh were not friends, you can get it all done for an afternoon and $500 bucks of stuff at a local mechanic and you're not subsidizing our last decade of stupid products and marketing decisions with overpriced dealer maintenance on glorified 370z in a tux. Well um I guess we're screwed.

Re: So you need a new engine? [Re: Skippy722] #5247558 10/22/19 08:17 PM
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,831
L
LotI Offline
Offline
L
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,831
remember what Chrysler means...

Company
highly
recommends
you
start
learning
engine
repair


03 Honda Interceptor
11 Kawasaki KLR 650
12 Ford E450 Cutaway
19 Buick Regal TourX http://www.fuelly.com/car/buick/regal_tourx/2019/loti/943992
Re: So you need a new engine? [Re: LotI] #5247613 10/22/19 09:52 PM
Joined: Nov 2018
Posts: 1,605
S
Skippy722 Online Happy OP
OP Online Happy
S
Joined: Nov 2018
Posts: 1,605
Originally Posted by LotI
remember what Chrysler means...

Company
highly
recommends
you
start
learning
engine
repair



Toyota: Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
Ford: Fix Or Repair Daily
VW: Virtually Worthless
Mopar: Miscellaneous Oddball Parts Assembled Ridiculously


2016 Chrysler 300S v6
2018 Dodge Grand Caravan GT

Slight Mopar obsession
Re: So you need a new engine? [Re: Skippy722] #5248334 10/23/19 06:30 PM
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 4,218
L
Leo99 Offline
Offline
L
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 4,218
Originally Posted by Skippy722
Originally Posted by LotI
remember what Chrysler means...

Company
highly
recommends
you
start
learning
engine
repair



Toyota: Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
Ford: Fix Or Repair Daily
VW: Virtually Worthless
Mopar: Miscellaneous Oddball Parts Assembled Ridiculously



I ran into a stand up comedian a few years ago after his show and the guy knew every one of these. I mean every manufacturer and he rattled them off like a savant on speed.


Without data you're just another person with an opinion. W. E. Deming

2003 Corolla 250,000 miles (RIP)
2004 Corolla 125,000 miles
2004 Rav4 392,000 miles
2015 Camry 90,000 miles
Re: So you need a new engine? [Re: 97prizm] #5259968 11/06/19 01:50 PM
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,719
S
SeaJay Offline
Offline
S
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,719
Originally Posted by 97prizm
The German makes this sounds about right, however federally it's illegal to install an engine that's older than the vehicle.


I'll go out on a limb and conclude that the next person headed to jail for this crime will be the first one to do so.

Re: So you need a new engine? [Re: Skippy722] #5260060 11/06/19 04:08 PM
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 798
D
DGXR Offline
Offline
D
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 798
While I generally like Chevys, I'll throw this in:
Can
Hear
Every
Valve
Rattling
On
Long
Extended
Trips


1995 Corvette coupe LT1 6-speed
2006 Tacoma 2.7 Base SR5 AC
1999 Yamaha YZ400FL
2003 Honda XR400R
Previous Thread
Index
Next Thread

BOB IS THE OIL GUY® Powered by UBB.threads™