100% spot on, 35 years of experience here, 20 with one and 15 with this one it took me 20 to master the art of selective hearing and answering.
Advice for young BITOG males...
- Thread starter Shannow
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Originally Posted by Shannow
Oh...and the ring DOES change everything...
Not in my experience.
She and I dated on and off, lived together, owned a house, for some 12 years before getting married. Really, nothing changed after the ring. Now, having kids DOES change everything, but in a good way, IMO.
BTW, I fully agree with the advice you gave in OP.
Oh...and the ring DOES change everything...
Not in my experience.
She and I dated on and off, lived together, owned a house, for some 12 years before getting married. Really, nothing changed after the ring. Now, having kids DOES change everything, but in a good way, IMO.
BTW, I fully agree with the advice you gave in OP.
Thank God my wife was adopted!
Choose wisely my friend, choose wisely. Better yet, take it for a long test drive, like for a couple of years, before committing to it by signing on the dotted line.
Originally Posted by BISCUT
The real test for a man is when she's early 40's to about 55. Good luck!!
I'm there now,
The real test for a man is when she's early 40's to about 55. Good luck!!
I'm there now,
Originally Posted by BMWTurboDzl
Originally Posted by BISCUT
The real test for a man is when she's early 40's to about 55. Good luck!!
I'm there now,
...me too....the first 20 years were easy in comparison....heaven help us men...we don't really change much despite their efforts....they...on the other hand....
Originally Posted by BISCUT
The real test for a man is when she's early 40's to about 55. Good luck!!
I'm there now,
...me too....the first 20 years were easy in comparison....heaven help us men...we don't really change much despite their efforts....they...on the other hand....
I too worry about "the change". And wonder what it'd cost to build my garage... in another state.
Been good so far though, 17 years without too much undue issue (plus maybe 3 before marriage). 6 more years and the kids should be gone. Hopefully if we turn into utter grumps we can find enough space in our house to keep civility.
When we bought our house and got the washer/drier, the wife immediately proclaimed them as "hers" and I was not to touch. It was a little touch and go there, I thought about putting up a fight -- for about 3 nanoseconds, then I let it slide.
Been good so far though, 17 years without too much undue issue (plus maybe 3 before marriage). 6 more years and the kids should be gone. Hopefully if we turn into utter grumps we can find enough space in our house to keep civility.
When we bought our house and got the washer/drier, the wife immediately proclaimed them as "hers" and I was not to touch. It was a little touch and go there, I thought about putting up a fight -- for about 3 nanoseconds, then I let it slide.
Originally Posted by Shannow
Oh...and the ring DOES change everything...
Amen to that!
Years ago in my foolish late teens I made the decision to get my GF at the time a "promise ring".
Boy did I regret that! Not only did it "change everything" but I was also foolish enough to believe that it would make things better between us.
I also didn't realize the implications a promise ring meant. When I told my GF that I didn't think it meant I was gonna marry her (just that we were "exclusive"), that's when all the fighting started.
I may have been very young when I made that mistake, but at least I learnt the lesson EARLY!
Oh...and the ring DOES change everything...
Amen to that!
Years ago in my foolish late teens I made the decision to get my GF at the time a "promise ring".
Boy did I regret that! Not only did it "change everything" but I was also foolish enough to believe that it would make things better between us.
I also didn't realize the implications a promise ring meant. When I told my GF that I didn't think it meant I was gonna marry her (just that we were "exclusive"), that's when all the fighting started.
I may have been very young when I made that mistake, but at least I learnt the lesson EARLY!
Mama Bear and I started dating in Nov '62, married in Oct '70
Many "7 yr itches" .... good thing we got the extended warranty
Many "7 yr itches" .... good thing we got the extended warranty
Much truth in those statements.. but I know I am very fortunate in that I've always liked my MIL. Her and my wife have their faults, as anyone does. If I wasn't so dang perfect myself, other peoples faults would be easier to take
Originally Posted by supton
When we bought our house and got the washer/drier, the wife immediately proclaimed them as "hers" and I was not to touch. It was a little touch and go there, I thought about putting up a fight -- for about 3 nanoseconds, then I let it slide.
It could be worse. She could not touch any laundry, or much of anything, mess with the phone/TV a ridiculous amount of time, always have suggestions about how we should do this or that (we meaning me), then complain (in a toxic manner) that I'm the worst father as I'm always finding "stuff" to do, just so I don't have to raise the kid.
edit: Her mother is not that bad, she's the one that taught her not to do anything by doing everything for her.
When we bought our house and got the washer/drier, the wife immediately proclaimed them as "hers" and I was not to touch. It was a little touch and go there, I thought about putting up a fight -- for about 3 nanoseconds, then I let it slide.
It could be worse. She could not touch any laundry, or much of anything, mess with the phone/TV a ridiculous amount of time, always have suggestions about how we should do this or that (we meaning me), then complain (in a toxic manner) that I'm the worst father as I'm always finding "stuff" to do, just so I don't have to raise the kid.
edit: Her mother is not that bad, she's the one that taught her not to do anything by doing everything for her.
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Originally Posted by Bailes1992
I feel this is less 'advice' and more of a fact that I hope isn't true.
Its utterly and completely true.
Originally Posted by BISCUT
The real test for a man is when she's early 40's to about 55. Good luck!!
This is the even scarier part of this thread. I dont mean menopause, if thats what is implied here. Literally every one of my friends is divorced now, and two family members, and it happened in their mid to late 40's and in every single case the wife cheated. Its scary. It wasnt menopause in my opinion, it was more of a midlife crisis. Unless the two go hand in hand. You always hear about the stereotypical male midlife crisis, but its the female midlife crisis that killed every one of the failed marriages I have witnessed over the past 5-6 years (I'm 51). Going out with the girls, hitting the clubs, getting home late, flirting, texting other guys, dressing and acting like they are 22 again, etc. All's quite until they get into their 40's then watch out, here it comes. Started to see the same pattern with my own wife, I let it slide for a while but then I put my foot down because I saw all my friends marriages failing and saw where this was going. Looking back a few years she has finally admitted she was acting differently and even has said she understands what I was saying about her behavior (back then).
I'm not sure about the ring thing. My wife and I met very young, early teens, and were married at 25, and really in our case the ring and marriage didnt change much at all, if anything it made things better.
I feel this is less 'advice' and more of a fact that I hope isn't true.
Its utterly and completely true.
Originally Posted by BISCUT
The real test for a man is when she's early 40's to about 55. Good luck!!
This is the even scarier part of this thread. I dont mean menopause, if thats what is implied here. Literally every one of my friends is divorced now, and two family members, and it happened in their mid to late 40's and in every single case the wife cheated. Its scary. It wasnt menopause in my opinion, it was more of a midlife crisis. Unless the two go hand in hand. You always hear about the stereotypical male midlife crisis, but its the female midlife crisis that killed every one of the failed marriages I have witnessed over the past 5-6 years (I'm 51). Going out with the girls, hitting the clubs, getting home late, flirting, texting other guys, dressing and acting like they are 22 again, etc. All's quite until they get into their 40's then watch out, here it comes. Started to see the same pattern with my own wife, I let it slide for a while but then I put my foot down because I saw all my friends marriages failing and saw where this was going. Looking back a few years she has finally admitted she was acting differently and even has said she understands what I was saying about her behavior (back then).
I'm not sure about the ring thing. My wife and I met very young, early teens, and were married at 25, and really in our case the ring and marriage didnt change much at all, if anything it made things better.
Originally Posted by carviewsonic
Much truth in those statements.. but I know I am very fortunate in that I've always liked my MIL. Her and my wife have their faults, as anyone does. If I wasn't so dang perfect myself, other peoples faults would be easier to take
Much truth in those statements.. but I know I am very fortunate in that I've always liked my MIL. Her and my wife have their faults, as anyone does. If I wasn't so dang perfect myself, other peoples faults would be easier to take
Originally Posted by Skippy722
My wife and her mother couldn't be on more opposite ends of the spectrum, and for my kids and my own sake I hope she's that odd one that doesn't go down that road.... she acts more like my mother
That is why you are attracted to her.
My wife and her mother couldn't be on more opposite ends of the spectrum, and for my kids and my own sake I hope she's that odd one that doesn't go down that road.... she acts more like my mother
That is why you are attracted to her.
Originally Posted by Shannow
Originally Posted by Skippy722
My wife and her mother couldn't be on more opposite ends of the spectrum, and for my kids and my own sake I hope she's that odd one that doesn't go down that road.... she acts more like my mother
early 30s ???
If you mean our ages, my wife is in her early 20's and I'm 3 years older
Originally Posted by Skippy722
My wife and her mother couldn't be on more opposite ends of the spectrum, and for my kids and my own sake I hope she's that odd one that doesn't go down that road.... she acts more like my mother
early 30s ???
If you mean our ages, my wife is in her early 20's and I'm 3 years older
AZjeff
$50 Site Donor 2023
This has been most entertaining and every one of you who has posted will have to apologize publicly for your insensitive comments.
Right.
Right.
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