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Re: When you've finally had enough.... [Re: Lolvoguy] #5131747
06/11/19 08:51 PM
06/11/19 08:51 PM
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 11,600
Phoenix, AZ
Nick1994 Offline
Nick1994  Offline

Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 11,600
Phoenix, AZ
Originally Posted by Lolvoguy
Have you ever been in a situation with a friend/acquaintance where they've done something deliberately that they knew irked/insulted you, yet they continue to do so?

Yup, happened this year with my dad.

Don't think I'll ever talk to him again. I didn't think I could ever do something like that, but after what's happened this year, yeah, I definitely can.


2015 Hyundai Sonata 2.4L 99k STP Synthetic HM 10w30 & OEM
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Re: When you've finally had enough.... [Re: Lolvoguy] #5131770
06/11/19 09:09 PM
06/11/19 09:09 PM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,098
Ontario Canada
cjcride Offline
cjcride  Offline

Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,098
Ontario Canada
Avoid petty people

Re: When you've finally had enough.... [Re: Lolvoguy] #5131837
06/11/19 10:43 PM
06/11/19 10:43 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,978
SD
zrxkawboy Offline
zrxkawboy  Offline

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,978
SD
Cutting someone off is hard to do, but once it's done, I think you'll be better off and happier. Sounds like you made the right move in this situation. Best wishes to you.


"Think of all the Ford owners who will someday want an automobile." John Dodge

Re: When you've finally had enough.... [Re: Lolvoguy] #5131853
06/11/19 10:54 PM
06/11/19 10:54 PM
Joined: Aug 2018
Posts: 806
N.A.
Onetor Offline
Onetor  Offline

Joined: Aug 2018
Posts: 806
N.A.
Not enough respect in this new world......Respect!


N = R* x fp x ne x fl x fi x fc x L
Re: When you've finally had enough.... [Re: Lolvoguy] #5131858
06/11/19 11:01 PM
06/11/19 11:01 PM
Joined: Nov 2017
Posts: 605
North of you Idaho
KneeGrinder Offline
KneeGrinder  Offline

Joined: Nov 2017
Posts: 605
North of you Idaho
"Have you ever been in a situation with a friend/acquaintance"

This above is all I need to Quote.

I don't think this person was really ever a real friend, as you yourself stated, he was a friend/acquaintance. We all have lots of those as we go thru life, they come, and they go. Personally that's exactly the emotional attachment I have to the friend/acquaintance, they come and they go, I will not go out of my way, or put myself out, lend money, ect. listen to their poor life story like I'm their psyc.

These people most likely feel the same about the so called friend/acquaintances that they make thruout their lives. It sounds heartless, and sad, but as your so called friend/acquaintance, I think you are beginning to see that is obviously the case. This person did not care about your feelings, there fore did not care much about your friendship. You should feel "NO" loss. No guilt. You should feel secure about your psychological disposition that you are able to identify this as a problem you can not fix, and that this person is really not your friend. Life will go on for both of you, just in separate ways, but you will be much better off without this person in your life anymore.

When I was about 25, my high school football coach and I had a very good friendship, long after high school we did things together like fish, golf, ride dirtbikes, I painted all his cars, lol,ect. One day he told me, you have been, and are a very good friend to me. He then said "If you go thru life and you only have one true friend like you have been to me, you are a lucky person"

At that time, it kind of shocked me a little. At that age I had more than a few friends that would do just about anything for me, "Real" friends! I would do the same for them also. I would bleed for them if needed! as time passed, all of those friends I had from my younger years all faded away as I put my job first and made it a career. I have made other "Real" friends along the way that have faded away, and made new friends in my retirement. I'm sorry this is such a long post, but I felt compelled to convey this as many people go thru life and never actually have a single "Real" friend. Think of a Narcissist?

The morel of my story is actually my football coaches statement, if you go thru life and you have one true friend, your doing alright, because many people don't know what a real friend is. So, if you have a real friend, I suggest you tell them you appreciate them and their friendship.


08 Tribeca 90k PUP 5w30
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Re: When you've finally had enough.... [Re: Nick1994] #5131865
06/11/19 11:07 PM
06/11/19 11:07 PM
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 3,896
PV Az @ 5000'
AZjeff Offline
AZjeff  Offline

Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 3,896
PV Az @ 5000'
Originally Posted by Nick1994
Originally Posted by Lolvoguy
Have you ever been in a situation with a friend/acquaintance where they've done something deliberately that they knew irked/insulted you, yet they continue to do so?

Yup, happened this year with my dad.

Don't think I'll ever talk to him again. I didn't think I could ever do something like that, but after what's happened this year, yeah, I definitely can.


Sorry to hear that Nick. People come and go but we only get one dad. Hope you find a way to work things out someday.

One hundred and 11 tomorrow...are you kidding?


86 Samurai 1.3 leftovers
14 RAV4 2.5 5W-20 PP
18 Nissan Titan 5.6 DI, QSUD

The most important thing to do in your life is to not interfere with someone else's life. - Frank Zappa

Re: When you've finally had enough.... [Re: Lolvoguy] #5131900
06/12/19 12:04 AM
06/12/19 12:04 AM
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 3,391
Midwest, Illinois
beanoil Offline
beanoil  Offline

Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 3,391
Midwest, Illinois
I could echo much of what has been said.
I've had to let go of a few "friends" over the years myself. Most times they were "friends" because I was putting forth the effort, they were receiving the benefits of my intellectual or physical labor, and for the most part, I tried to see the good, and ignore the obvious. There are times when I am not a smart man, but I know what love is....

OP, how do you feel now that you have let go and moved on?
Good? Miss this person? Can't live without them?
If you are fine, keep on moving in a positive direction,full throttle.
There are plenty that would value a solid friendship, just enjoying your time and presence.
If doubtful, re-evaluate. You may want to see if this person was sincere in their apology.
There are no rules except that you get something out of the relationship as well as the other party,it is a fair relationship based on your judgement system,and to be content in this world.

Re: When you've finally had enough.... [Re: Lolvoguy] #5131924
06/12/19 01:10 AM
06/12/19 01:10 AM
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,070
Maryland USA
rubberchicken Offline
rubberchicken  Offline

Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,070
Maryland USA
I am not sure if you mean something racist, or more like a nickname that just irritates you. Either way I hope you took some action to let them know why you are cutting ties, otherwise they may not learn their lesson.
(Edit- never mind what he did, you were quite clear it was a racial insult).

Last edited by rubberchicken; 06/12/19 01:11 AM.
Re: When you've finally had enough.... [Re: rubberchicken] #5131931
06/12/19 01:38 AM
06/12/19 01:38 AM
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 241
USA
AC1DD Offline
AC1DD  Offline

Joined: May 2019
Posts: 241
USA
Originally Posted by rubberchicken
I am not sure if you mean something racist, or more like a nickname that just irritates you. Either way I hope you took some action to let them know why you are cutting ties, otherwise they may not learn their lesson.
(Edit- never mind what he did, you were quite clear it was a racial insult).



Not worth the bother, just stop communicating with this type of person immediately, after all this kind of rebuke is the only thing they will ever understand.

Last edited by AC1DD; 06/12/19 01:38 AM.
Re: When you've finally had enough.... [Re: Lolvoguy] #5131940
06/12/19 02:26 AM
06/12/19 02:26 AM
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 3,882
the canyons
02SE Offline
02SE  Offline

Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 3,882
the canyons
Life is too short. Move on.

Re: When you've finally had enough.... [Re: Lolvoguy] #5131984
06/12/19 04:52 AM
06/12/19 04:52 AM
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 11,496
ROCHESTER, NY
Char Baby Offline
Char Baby  Offline

Joined: May 2005
Posts: 11,496
ROCHESTER, NY
I have weeded out all of my friends that I have outgrown or who have [censored] me off way too many times in order to keep letting this happen any longer. Those who never changed since H.S. They have the same immature attitude(mostly guys) and comments as if we're still 16 years old in the H.S. lunchroom. C'mon!

I am retired and have retired them from my life!


"Retired"
-----------------------------------

'80 Firebird FORMULA V8/4bbl-purchased "NEW"
'15 Nissan Altima 2.5 SV
'15 Honda Civic 1.8 LX
Re: When you've finally had enough.... [Re: Lolvoguy] #5131991
06/12/19 05:19 AM
06/12/19 05:19 AM
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 11,108
Indiana
dlundblad Offline
dlundblad  Offline

Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 11,108
Indiana
Ha! I had a friend who fits this exact description. I haven't seen him in nearly 7 years and he shot me a message the other night congratulating me on my marriage and wanting to get together.

Time has a way of healing things and I genuinely believe he's grown up. I told the wifey about said friend and she just rolled her eyes. She's dealt with his shenanigans many many times. Lol.


03 Jeep WJ 4.0 202k Edge 10w40 HM Fram XG16
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97 Chevy Blazer 4.3 158k M1 EP 10w30 Supertech ST3980 (Ecore)

Re: When you've finally had enough.... [Re: WondrousBread] #5131995
06/12/19 05:31 AM
06/12/19 05:31 AM
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 734
GA
miden851 Offline
miden851  Offline

Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 734
GA
Originally Posted by WondrousBread
Honestly? Who needs the stress of a friendship where you're the only one putting in any effort or consideration?

A friendship relies on reciprocity, not necessarily equal in amount but in intent. It seems that this "friend" had little intention of being even considerate of your feelings, let alone friendly.

Good for you for cutting it off. I hope that your future friendships are more true.

+1 well putted!

OP, you'll be better off by yourself and without your fake friends


2008 Mazda6i GT; @223K miles
2016 Honda CR-V EX-L; @45K miles
Re: When you've finally had enough.... [Re: Lolvoguy] #5132030
06/12/19 06:55 AM
06/12/19 06:55 AM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 19,999
Dallas,Tx USA
aquariuscsm Offline
aquariuscsm  Offline

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 19,999
Dallas,Tx USA
I've known many people who I refer to as "fair weather friends". They're only there when they need something. Any other time,they treat you as if you're invisible. I burn bridges with these types.


1996 Nissan 300ZX 5-speed,Arctic Pearl(#175 of 300)
Quaker State Ultimate Durability 10W30
2012 Honda Accord Coupe EX-L 2.4,auto,San Marino Red
Quaker State Ultimate Durability 10W30

Re: When you've finally had enough.... [Re: beanoil] #5132423
06/12/19 03:17 PM
06/12/19 03:17 PM
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 3,041
Canada
Lolvoguy Offline OP
Lolvoguy  Offline OP

Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 3,041
Canada
Thank you everyone for the well-wishes and support, I'm feeling much better as time has progressed grin

Originally Posted by beanoil

OP, how do you feel now that you have let go and moved on?
Good? Miss this person? Can't live without them?
If you are fine, keep on moving in a positive direction,full throttle.
There are plenty that would value a solid friendship, just enjoying your time and presence.
If doubtful, re-evaluate. You may want to see if this person was sincere in their apology.
There are no rules except that you get something out of the relationship as well as the other party,it is a fair relationship based on your judgement system,and to be content in this world.


Hi Beanoil,
Actually, I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. banana
While I was maintaining this friendship I always felt like I was giving too much of myself, and not receiving anything/very little in return. Communication was always on his "terms" and he insisted I use a specific app. He knew my spouse and the relationship and I was totally forthcoming with anything that was asked...as a friend should be (at least I thought). Whenever I'd ask questions about his relationships with GF's etc., he'd simply ignore the question/pretend like I never asked it (this happened often).

I also feel that I used this texting relationship as a means of avoiding making "real friends". I have realized it was more of a crutch that only prevented me from experiencing friendship in the current city I live in.
In addition, I feel like cutting ties with his has empowered me to want to get out and explore more of the opportunities around me.

Oh and I can't forget this forum. I shudder to think of where I'd be without the advise and support of you guys.
thumbsup


06 Lexus IS350- Wife
88 BMW 325is- Mistress
Say "no" to Turbo!
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