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Re: When you've finally had enough.... [Re: Lolvoguy] #5131747 06/11/19 07:51 PM
Joined: Feb 2013
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Nick1994 Offline
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Originally Posted by Lolvoguy
Have you ever been in a situation with a friend/acquaintance where they've done something deliberately that they knew irked/insulted you, yet they continue to do so?

Yup, happened this year with my dad.

Don't think I'll ever talk to him again. I didn't think I could ever do something like that, but after what's happened this year, yeah, I definitely can.


2015 Hyundai Sonata 2.4L 104k STP Synthetic HM 10w30 & OEM
2000 Toyota Camry 2.2L 235k Mobil Super HM 10w40 & Fram Ultra
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Re: When you've finally had enough.... [Re: Lolvoguy] #5131770 06/11/19 08:09 PM
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cjcride Offline
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Avoid petty people

Re: When you've finally had enough.... [Re: Lolvoguy] #5131837 06/11/19 09:43 PM
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zrxkawboy Offline
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Cutting someone off is hard to do, but once it's done, I think you'll be better off and happier. Sounds like you made the right move in this situation. Best wishes to you.


"Think of all the Ford owners who will someday want an automobile." John Dodge

Re: When you've finally had enough.... [Re: Lolvoguy] #5131853 06/11/19 09:54 PM
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Onetor Offline
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Not enough respect in this new world......Respect!


N = R* x fp x ne x fl x fi x fc x L
Re: When you've finally had enough.... [Re: Lolvoguy] #5131858 06/11/19 10:01 PM
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KneeGrinder Offline
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"Have you ever been in a situation with a friend/acquaintance"

This above is all I need to Quote.

I don't think this person was really ever a real friend, as you yourself stated, he was a friend/acquaintance. We all have lots of those as we go thru life, they come, and they go. Personally that's exactly the emotional attachment I have to the friend/acquaintance, they come and they go, I will not go out of my way, or put myself out, lend money, ect. listen to their poor life story like I'm their psyc.

These people most likely feel the same about the so called friend/acquaintances that they make thruout their lives. It sounds heartless, and sad, but as your so called friend/acquaintance, I think you are beginning to see that is obviously the case. This person did not care about your feelings, there fore did not care much about your friendship. You should feel "NO" loss. No guilt. You should feel secure about your psychological disposition that you are able to identify this as a problem you can not fix, and that this person is really not your friend. Life will go on for both of you, just in separate ways, but you will be much better off without this person in your life anymore.

When I was about 25, my high school football coach and I had a very good friendship, long after high school we did things together like fish, golf, ride dirtbikes, I painted all his cars, lol,ect. One day he told me, you have been, and are a very good friend to me. He then said "If you go thru life and you only have one true friend like you have been to me, you are a lucky person"

At that time, it kind of shocked me a little. At that age I had more than a few friends that would do just about anything for me, "Real" friends! I would do the same for them also. I would bleed for them if needed! as time passed, all of those friends I had from my younger years all faded away as I put my job first and made it a career. I have made other "Real" friends along the way that have faded away, and made new friends in my retirement. I'm sorry this is such a long post, but I felt compelled to convey this as many people go thru life and never actually have a single "Real" friend. Think of a Narcissist?

The morel of my story is actually my football coaches statement, if you go thru life and you have one true friend, your doing alright, because many people don't know what a real friend is. So, if you have a real friend, I suggest you tell them you appreciate them and their friendship.


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Re: When you've finally had enough.... [Re: Nick1994] #5131865 06/11/19 10:07 PM
Joined: Jan 2011
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AZjeff Offline
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Posts: 4,253
Originally Posted by Nick1994
Originally Posted by Lolvoguy
Have you ever been in a situation with a friend/acquaintance where they've done something deliberately that they knew irked/insulted you, yet they continue to do so?

Yup, happened this year with my dad.

Don't think I'll ever talk to him again. I didn't think I could ever do something like that, but after what's happened this year, yeah, I definitely can.


Sorry to hear that Nick. People come and go but we only get one dad. Hope you find a way to work things out someday.

One hundred and 11 tomorrow...are you kidding?


86 Samurai 1.3 leftovers
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The most important thing to do in your life is to not interfere with someone else's life. - Frank Zappa

Re: When you've finally had enough.... [Re: Lolvoguy] #5131900 06/11/19 11:04 PM
Joined: Oct 2004
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beanoil Offline
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I could echo much of what has been said.
I've had to let go of a few "friends" over the years myself. Most times they were "friends" because I was putting forth the effort, they were receiving the benefits of my intellectual or physical labor, and for the most part, I tried to see the good, and ignore the obvious. There are times when I am not a smart man, but I know what love is....

OP, how do you feel now that you have let go and moved on?
Good? Miss this person? Can't live without them?
If you are fine, keep on moving in a positive direction,full throttle.
There are plenty that would value a solid friendship, just enjoying your time and presence.
If doubtful, re-evaluate. You may want to see if this person was sincere in their apology.
There are no rules except that you get something out of the relationship as well as the other party,it is a fair relationship based on your judgement system,and to be content in this world.

Re: When you've finally had enough.... [Re: Lolvoguy] #5131924 06/12/19 12:10 AM
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,191
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rubberchicken Offline
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I am not sure if you mean something racist, or more like a nickname that just irritates you. Either way I hope you took some action to let them know why you are cutting ties, otherwise they may not learn their lesson.
(Edit- never mind what he did, you were quite clear it was a racial insult).

Last edited by rubberchicken; 06/12/19 12:11 AM.
Re: When you've finally had enough.... [Re: rubberchicken] #5131931 06/12/19 12:38 AM
Joined: May 2019
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AC1DD Offline
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Originally Posted by rubberchicken
I am not sure if you mean something racist, or more like a nickname that just irritates you. Either way I hope you took some action to let them know why you are cutting ties, otherwise they may not learn their lesson.
(Edit- never mind what he did, you were quite clear it was a racial insult).



Not worth the bother, just stop communicating with this type of person immediately, after all this kind of rebuke is the only thing they will ever understand.

Last edited by AC1DD; 06/12/19 12:38 AM.
Re: When you've finally had enough.... [Re: Lolvoguy] #5131940 06/12/19 01:26 AM
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 4,209
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02SE Offline
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Life is too short. Move on.

Re: When you've finally had enough.... [Re: Lolvoguy] #5131984 06/12/19 03:52 AM
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Char Baby Offline
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I have weeded out all of my friends that I have outgrown or who have [censored] me off way too many times in order to keep letting this happen any longer. Those who never changed since H.S. They have the same immature attitude(mostly guys) and comments as if we're still 16 years old in the H.S. lunchroom. C'mon!

I am retired and have retired them from my life!


"Retired"
-----------------------------------

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Re: When you've finally had enough.... [Re: Lolvoguy] #5131991 06/12/19 04:19 AM
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dlundblad Offline
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Ha! I had a friend who fits this exact description. I haven't seen him in nearly 7 years and he shot me a message the other night congratulating me on my marriage and wanting to get together.

Time has a way of healing things and I genuinely believe he's grown up. I told the wifey about said friend and she just rolled her eyes. She's dealt with his shenanigans many many times. Lol.


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Re: When you've finally had enough.... [Re: WondrousBread] #5131995 06/12/19 04:31 AM
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miden851 Offline
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Originally Posted by WondrousBread
Honestly? Who needs the stress of a friendship where you're the only one putting in any effort or consideration?

A friendship relies on reciprocity, not necessarily equal in amount but in intent. It seems that this "friend" had little intention of being even considerate of your feelings, let alone friendly.

Good for you for cutting it off. I hope that your future friendships are more true.

+1 well putted!

OP, you'll be better off by yourself and without your fake friends


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Re: When you've finally had enough.... [Re: Lolvoguy] #5132030 06/12/19 05:55 AM
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aquariuscsm Offline
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I've known many people who I refer to as "fair weather friends". They're only there when they need something. Any other time,they treat you as if you're invisible. I burn bridges with these types.


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Re: When you've finally had enough.... [Re: beanoil] #5132423 06/12/19 02:17 PM
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Lolvoguy Offline OP
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Thank you everyone for the well-wishes and support, I'm feeling much better as time has progressed grin

Originally Posted by beanoil

OP, how do you feel now that you have let go and moved on?
Good? Miss this person? Can't live without them?
If you are fine, keep on moving in a positive direction,full throttle.
There are plenty that would value a solid friendship, just enjoying your time and presence.
If doubtful, re-evaluate. You may want to see if this person was sincere in their apology.
There are no rules except that you get something out of the relationship as well as the other party,it is a fair relationship based on your judgement system,and to be content in this world.


Hi Beanoil,
Actually, I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. banana
While I was maintaining this friendship I always felt like I was giving too much of myself, and not receiving anything/very little in return. Communication was always on his "terms" and he insisted I use a specific app. He knew my spouse and the relationship and I was totally forthcoming with anything that was asked...as a friend should be (at least I thought). Whenever I'd ask questions about his relationships with GF's etc., he'd simply ignore the question/pretend like I never asked it (this happened often).

I also feel that I used this texting relationship as a means of avoiding making "real friends". I have realized it was more of a crutch that only prevented me from experiencing friendship in the current city I live in.
In addition, I feel like cutting ties with his has empowered me to want to get out and explore more of the opportunities around me.

Oh and I can't forget this forum. I shudder to think of where I'd be without the advise and support of you guys.
thumbsup


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