When you've finally had enough....

[Lolvoguy]

Have you ever been in a situation with a friend/acquaintance where they've done something deliberately that they knew irked/insulted you, yet they continue to do so?

Recently I've cut ties with a "friend" I've had for over 10 years. We became friends as co-workers and after I left that city we remained in contact.
Over the years he'd jokingly use a derogatory racial term directed at me. I let him know that I don't appreciate the term, despite how "popular" it might seem.
Recently he did it again and after correcting him again I decided that I'd finally had enough. I told him that I don't understand why he feels the "need" to use this term toward me. He apologized, but I really don't see the need to salvage any sort of relationship with him. The few times I needed assistance with being stranded/assistance with moving etc and he was always "too busy" or ended up half-assing things to the point of being more of a disturbance.

As a result I decided to delete the app I was using to contact him with (he was the only person I used it for) and delete his number (as well as block it, as he seems to not get the hint that I'm impartial to our relationship).

I'm at a point in my life where I don't feel I should have to tolerate being addressed in this demeaning way, especially since I don't address him (or anyone else) in that manner.

Just needed to vent my thoughts.

 

[Inked]

Doesn't sound like he was ever a friend. No loss there.

 

[oldhp]

Good for you!!! I've done the same thing a couple of times. No regrets.

 

[spasm3]

Don't waste time on toxic people.

 

[Eddie]

He was a temporary acquaintance that became sour. ED

 

[SatinSilver]

Originally Posted by spasm3
Don't waste time on toxic people.


+1, plenty of good, positive people out there that will lift your spirits.

 

[Mr Nice]

Originally Posted by SatinSilver
Originally Posted by spasm3
Don't waste time on toxic people.


+1, plenty of good, positive people out there that will lift your spirits.

Yep. Avoid poisonous people.

 

[Alfred_B]

A lot of people think these things are a joke until they experience it themselves. No ability to empathize so you've made a good choice. Life's already a struggle without additional angst like that.

 

[WondrousBread]

Honestly? Who needs the stress of a friendship where you're the only one putting in any effort or consideration?

A friendship relies on reciprocity, not necessarily equal in amount but in intent. It seems that this "friend" had little intention of being even considerate of your feelings, let alone friendly.

Good for you for cutting it off. I hope that your future friendships are more true.

 

[JeffKeryk]

I am sorry your "friend" used a derogatory term in reference to you, or anyone for that matter.
It seems to be an all too common thing in our society today; I find it shameful; it hurts.

I only hope your "friend" learns a valuable lesson and changes his bad behavior.

 

[philipp10]

What you describe is not uncommon in America today. Derogatory terms for you, ghosting, blowing you off.....I see it all the time. Two couples we knew, both previously somewhat close friends would never get together with us unless it was on THEIR terms, THEIR choice of activity.....you get the point. I don't put up with it anymore.

 

[Fawteen]

Life is too short to deal with people like that.

 

[edwardh1]

Had a friend (now x friend) lecture me and my wife how all women should stay at home, not work, and only home school the kids.
we were in his house for supper, he brought this up out of the blue.
He was of course a never married bachelor , no kids.
Never have spoken to him since.

 

[DoubleWasp]

Some times, some things, just need to go.

 

[BISCUT]

If this person makes you feel "that" way then by all means drop his axx. I consider myself the luckiest guy in the world. I'm in the police world and a boss. I'm blessed to work with a group that is highly diversified but also ALMOST all of us have some thick skin and really there are ALMOST none of us who really care about your color or background. Don't believe the media. Whether you love or hate the cops it's fine. My example is merely meant to say that we all can get along and I promise you we laugh at eachother every day and accept who we are and know that hey it's ok to poke fun but there is a line. And if someone crosses that line just be an adult and say whoa too far. Sounds like you did that. If your "buddy" didn't hear you then time to drop him. It's simply mutual respect. Not on you it's him.

 

[Nick1994]

Originally Posted by Lolvoguy
Have you ever been in a situation with a friend/acquaintance where they've done something deliberately that they knew irked/insulted you, yet they continue to do so?

Yup, happened this year with my dad.

Don't think I'll ever talk to him again. I didn't think I could ever do something like that, but after what's happened this year, yeah, I definitely can.

 

[cjcride]

Avoid petty people

 

[zrxkawboy]

Cutting someone off is hard to do, but once it's done, I think you'll be better off and happier. Sounds like you made the right move in this situation. Best wishes to you.

 

[Onetor]

Not enough respect in this new world......Respect!

 

[KneeGrinder]

"Have you ever been in a situation with a friend/acquaintance"

This above is all I need to Quote.

I don't think this person was really ever a real friend, as you yourself stated, he was a friend/acquaintance. We all have lots of those as we go thru life, they come, and they go. Personally that's exactly the emotional attachment I have to the friend/acquaintance, they come and they go, I will not go out of my way, or put myself out, lend money, ect. listen to their poor life story like I'm their psyc.

These people most likely feel the same about the so called friend/acquaintances that they make thruout their lives. It sounds heartless, and sad, but as your so called friend/acquaintance, I think you are beginning to see that is obviously the case. This person did not care about your feelings, there fore did not care much about your friendship. You should feel "NO" loss. No guilt. You should feel secure about your psychological disposition that you are able to identify this as a problem you can not fix, and that this person is really not your friend. Life will go on for both of you, just in separate ways, but you will be much better off without this person in your life anymore.

When I was about 25, my high school football coach and I had a very good friendship, long after high school we did things together like fish, golf, ride dirtbikes, I painted all his cars, lol,ect. One day he told me, you have been, and are a very good friend to me. He then said "If you go thru life and you only have one true friend like you have been to me, you are a lucky person"

At that time, it kind of shocked me a little. At that age I had more than a few friends that would do just about anything for me, "Real" friends! I would do the same for them also. I would bleed for them if needed! as time passed, all of those friends I had from my younger years all faded away as I put my job first and made it a career. I have made other "Real" friends along the way that have faded away, and made new friends in my retirement. I'm sorry this is such a long post, but I felt compelled to convey this as many people go thru life and never actually have a single "Real" friend. Think of a Narcissist?

The morel of my story is actually my football coaches statement, if you go thru life and you have one true friend, your doing alright, because many people don't know what a real friend is. So, if you have a real friend, I suggest you tell them you appreciate them and their friendship.