Forgotten baby syndrome

Status
Not open for further replies.
I sometimes wonder if we aren't going too far to sanitize our lives..... too far as in throwing expensive technologies onto our problems. This is an expense that may be better utilized elsewhere for protecting and bettering our lives.

To subject 15,000,000 new cars each year with expensive technology - which may not be foolproof - to save 40 babies a year is something we need to consider for merit.
 
Originally Posted by BMWTurboDzl
Thing is that you can apply this to anything. It's not a baby-only phenomenon

Certainly. We forget things all the time because of how our brains work. You would expect a child to be high enough on your priority list that you would never forget him/her, yet, sometimes it does happen.

While I hope I never forget my kid in the car, I am not all that surprised that it does happen to others. The older I get, the more forgetful I become.
 
Originally Posted by skyactiv
Let me guess, there will be an FDA approved medicine down the road for this.
Ginkgo Biloba
smile.gif
 
Originally Posted by Quattro Pete
Originally Posted by BMWTurboDzl
Thing is that you can apply this to anything. It's not a baby-only phenomenon


Certainly. We forget things all the time because of how our brains work. You would expect a child to be high enough on your priority list that you would never forget him/her, yet, sometimes it does happen.

While I hope I never forget my kid in the car, I am not all that surprised that it does happen to others. The older I get, the more forgetful I become.



Completely agree. My curiosity and lack of understanding comes not from the fact that this can happen, but how can this happen? From an evolutionary perspective I would naturally assume that once an adult is in possession of a child, their nurture response increases and prevents something like this from happening, clearly that is not the case.

However, this happens extremely rarely, so perhaps that is what happens and these very few instances are minor glitches that result in drastic consequences. Or as the article pointed to, this number started increasing in the 90's when recommendations changed to reverse child seats. Perhaps there's an element of "out of sight, out of mind" that causes the brain to no longer prioritize children sitting in a seat that causes them to physically not be seen.
 
I never get these stories. My wife takes care of our kids, which includes waking up throughout the night with them. I work long hours. There are times when we're both extremely exhausted and not thinking 100% clearly

I can't conceive of a single time where our kids weren't fully on our minds as we went anywhere. Even if they were asleep in the car-seat in the beginning and remained asleep when we arrived at our destination, they are priority number 1. We wonder if they're OK while driving (man, she seems so quiet) and then hope that we don't wake her when we pull her out of the car and put her in the stroller; hope that he's not [censored] when we wake him and ask him to get out and walk.

I honestly think that parents who do things like this should lose custody of all remaining kids and be put in jail for life (with possibility of parole after 10 years).

I'm a big proponent of pre-collision warning, adaptive cruise control, blind-spot warning, etc., but can't for the life of me think of why child-left-in-car warnings should be necessary.
 
Originally Posted by Quattro Pete
These are truly tragic incidents. People being people, they always look for someone else to blame. If you give them a car with a system to detect a baby in the car, and that system happens to malfunction, again they will blame the manufacturer.

We are a very distracted society, partly due to all the electronic devices vying for our attention. That's on top of people just being people and forgetting things once in a while.

And while car seats are designed to save lives, they are also a trap. If a 4-year-old was left in a car without a car seat, he could most likely open the door and get out. But if he's in a car seat, he's trapped.


Also, this just happened yesterday:
https://www.actionnewsjax.com/news/...termined-death-on-the-westside/951491328



I'm with you 100%
 
every time one of these stories hits the news, there's always the same suggestions to put your laptop, or you r purse back there, something you're not likely to forget going into the office. only once did i hear a suggestion that 1) I really liked, and 2) is universal.

when you strap your kid(s) in the back. leave one of your shoes back there with them. you aren't going to go very far from your vehicle with one shoe.
 
Originally Posted by earlyre
every time one of these stories hits the news, there's always the same suggestions to put your laptop, or you r purse back there


They should put their smartphones under the baby seat. I guarantee they wont forget then.
But most wont do that because it would require them to have it out of their reach for more then 5mins...
 
Originally Posted by earlyre
every time one of these stories hits the news, there's always the same suggestions to put your laptop, or you r purse back there, something you're not likely to forget going into the office. only once did i hear a suggestion that 1) I really liked, and 2) is universal.

when you strap your kid(s) in the back. leave one of your shoes back there with them. you aren't going to go very far from your vehicle with one shoe.

Leave your phone in the back. Most people can't live without checking their phone every 10 minutes, it seems.
smile.gif
 
I used to know someone this happened to. They had a very difficult baby, it had severe colic. As did my daughter. When you have to deal with loss of sleep, like this causes, things can happen. You have to work to keep insurance. Many Employers are not at all understanding. You get so tired you really should not even be driving, but you have to. We were in a support group.

I fully understand how this can happen, and I am very thankful it never happened to me, because I know deep down inside I was lucky. This friend just disappeared, marriage gone, moved away, does not keep in touch. I google him once and a while to see if he is dead. so far so good. I wish him peace somehow.

I am sure that there are some parents that were responsible for their kids death.. There are others caught in situations no one should ever experience. Don't judge. You most likely do not know.

Rod
 
Originally Posted by RamFan
In before the poop storm...

This is the opinion of a married, late-20s male with zero kids.

I cannot understand how someone, parent or not, can forget a child in a car. I understand parents are tired beyond comprehension and have hundreds of thoughts running through their heads, but to space and have a temporary lapse in memory that their child or any child is with them seems absurd. I'm also one of those people that won't dare leave their dog in the car for over 5 minutes and have at times planned my daily route based on whether or not he will be with me.

I understand that people can make ridiculously stupid mistakes and have lapses in judgement that seem unconscionable but they are otherwise good, great, outstanding people. I can even understand the fact that we become so ingrained in our routine that if we add a variable, we may erase that variable in order to maintain our order. But I have a hard time grasping the psychology and biology behind a human simply forgetting about a defenseless child.

I think a child sensor of sorts is silly. But again, I'm someone without kids that has never experienced something like this. I can't speak for those individuals and I will never be able to imagine myself in their shoes. With other, rather trivial things (back up camera, anyone?) perhaps a child sensor isn't that bad or crazy of an idea. With all the horrible ways to go out, this seems so avoidable.

I'm a father of a 4 year old. Because of all the informational campaigns and entertainment/media coverage throughout the years, I have it drilled down in my brain to always be aware of my child's whereabouts, especially in the car. Can't speak for parents with multiple kids, that's another level.
 
Originally Posted by sdowney717
Some are not forgotten, they are deliberately left to die in a hot car.

As sad and horrific it may sound, I think you are right. If this attitude can be applied to animals, why not children?
Nothing worse than being tired, overworked, and stressed from work AND have a screaming child in a car with inop A/C
eek.gif


These nanny gizmos are nothing but a band-aid remedy to lackadaisical parenting.
coffee2.gif
 
Originally Posted by doitmyself
I can already hear the comments from those who have never raised kids. IMO, no matter your parenting competence, sometimes bad things happen.

I certainly could have worded that better, because it really should apply towards anyone, and in line with ragtoplvr's opinion: "There are others caught in situations no one should ever experience. Don't judge. You most likely do not know."

I don't understand suicide nor ptsd. I don't understand lots of stuff. Who am I to judge? Like most, I cannot fathom how this could happen either. How does a child manage to drown in the bathtub? Neglect, or maybe the "perfect storm" of events that turns a normal scare into a tragedy.

The news show bothered me because it didn't address the core issues, there was no personal responsibility mentioned, and there was a knee jerk reaction for government intervention to apply a band aid fix.

Thanks for the comments from everyone.
 
Originally Posted by javacontour
How did we make it to 7 billion plus people without such alarms?

stupid comment of the week......
 
Originally Posted by RamFan
In before the poop storm...

This is the opinion of a married, late-20s male with zero kids.

I cannot understand how someone, parent or not, can forget a child in a car. I understand parents are tired beyond comprehension and have hundreds of thoughts running through their heads, but to space and have a temporary lapse in memory that their child or any child is with them seems absurd. I'm also one of those people that won't dare leave their dog in the car for over 5 minutes and have at times planned my daily route based on whether or not he will be with me.

I understand that people can make ridiculously stupid mistakes and have lapses in judgement that seem unconscionable but they are otherwise good, great, outstanding people. I can even understand the fact that we become so ingrained in our routine that if we add a variable, we may erase that variable in order to maintain our order. But I have a hard time grasping the psychology and biology behind a human simply forgetting about a defenseless child.

I think a child sensor of sorts is silly. But again, I'm someone without kids that has never experienced something like this. I can't speak for those individuals and I will never be able to imagine myself in their shoes. With other, rather trivial things (back up camera, anyone?) perhaps a child sensor isn't that bad or crazy of an idea. With all the horrible ways to go out, this seems so avoidable.

it's easier than you might think. Imagine 2 parents, switching back and forth on who drops off Junior each day and not ever the same days necessarily. Couple that with a hectic lifestyle and being tired. Finally add in the fact that this task must be performed millions of times a day throughout the US. Do you honestly think it will be done flawlessly EVERY TIME? Of course not, just as not seeing EVERY single red light millions of times a day results in accidents.

I used to drop my son off quite often. I learned to always look back in the back seat each morning as I got to work....just to be sure. But to expect 0.0000% accidents on a task performed 10 million times a day is not realistic.
 
Originally Posted by doitmyself
he did not admit any responsibility and it seemed that he was shifting blame off himself.


Comments?
35.gif



It's like a plague with that generation - always someone else's fault.
 
I'm thinking of the Seinfeld episode where Kramer borrowed Jerry's Saab to go to Costco. He overbought so had to put some items in the engine compartment. Forgot about it when he gets home so the next day when Jerry drives the car it breaks down. Mechanic says he almost sucked a muffin down the carburetor. Of course that year Saabs were fuel injected but that error is for another thread.
 
Originally Posted by RamFan
Originally Posted by Quattro Pete
Originally Posted by BMWTurboDzl
Thing is that you can apply this to anything. It's not a baby-only phenomenon


Certainly. We forget things all the time because of how our brains work. You would expect a child to be high enough on your priority list that you would never forget him/her, yet, sometimes it does happen.

While I hope I never forget my kid in the car, I am not all that surprised that it does happen to others. The older I get, the more forgetful I become.



Completely agree. My curiosity and lack of understanding comes not from the fact that this can happen, but how can this happen? From an evolutionary perspective I would naturally assume that once an adult is in possession of a child, their nurture response increases and prevents something like this from happening, clearly that is not the case.

However, this happens extremely rarely, so perhaps that is what happens and these very few instances are minor glitches that result in drastic consequences. Or as the article pointed to, this number started increasing in the 90's when recommendations changed to reverse child seats. Perhaps there's an element of "out of sight, out of mind" that causes the brain to no longer prioritize children sitting in a seat that causes them to physically not be seen.


From an evolutionary perspective, this happens because the human brain is too complicated for its own good. You would think biologically speaking the child is #1 always, but there's just a bit too many wires crossing, so to speak. The other mammals have far fewer connections between neurons, humans have something like 2 to the power of 10^13 individual connections in the brain. More than there are subatomic particles in the whole universe. So i get how a kid could be forgotten for a minute, biologically speaking. I'm not a parent, but I will say mine never forgot me anywhere, ever!
 
Originally Posted by BMWTurboDzl
Originally Posted by Quattro Pete
Originally Posted by Char Baby
I am with those who can't believe how people can forget their children in the vehicle.

Google link in the OP gives an explanation of why/how it happens:
Quote
Forgotten Baby Syndrome is the medical explanation for how a parent can walk away from a car without realizing their child remains inside. Dr. David Diamond, a professor of psychology, molecular pharmacology, and physiology at the University of South Florida, Tampa, spends time researching the neurobiology of FBS. According to Dr. Diamond, each day people perform tasks that become routine, involving little conscious thought and are therefore governed by a part of the brain called the motor cortex. A good example is driving home from work each day using the same route. Eventually, we can do it seemingly without thinking. Dr. Diamond explains, "in effect, our motor memory frees us up to think about the future while completing the task at hand."

Then there is the part of the brain responsible for making a clear decision, for example, to stop at the store on your way home from work. This is called the hippocampus, and it controls the cognitive portion of our brains. Dr. Diamond explains that in FBS, the motor memory part of our brain competes against the cognitive part of the brain, overruling it. In this example, that would mean leaving work with the intent of stopping at the store and then finding yourself in your garage having forgotten that you intended to make a stop elsewhere. This phenomenon happens as a normal part of our brain's function and not because there is something wrong with our brain structure.

In the case of FBS, two things often happen. First, a caregiver varies from their normal routine. For example, a caregiver that does not usually transport a child to daycare may do so on this day. They then drive to work as normal, the motor cortex out-thinking the cognitive brain and leading the parent to completely forget their child is in the back. They go about their day with no recollection of their intent to drop a child off and looking forward to seeing the child in the evening.




Thing is that you can apply this to anything. It's not a baby-only phenomenon


This strikes me as psychobabble nonsense.
Parents are responsible for the children in their care. The is no valid excuse nor explanation for killing an infant by leaving it in a car.
The best remedy for this might be to make all parents aware that this is an offense that will bring prosecution for negligent homicide, as would be appropriate.
Anyone entrusted with a precious young life must have the protection of that child as their foremost concern, not their smart phone.
Dropping a small child off at a caregiver's location is routine. How anyone could forget that and bring their child to work with them and then leave them to die in a car sitting in the sun is beyond comprehension.
Yes, we did raise two sons from birth, so I'm not speaking from ignorance.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top