I bought my wife's engagement ring thru a lady that designed and makes jewelery. She helped me design a great ring and I was able to get a lot more ring. I chose a 1 carat vvs1 diamond in a platinum setting. The big stores and stuff mark up those things so much bc they know we as future husband's want everything for our soon to be bride. Also forget that stupid 2 months salary crap. Buy what you can afford don't get into debt. And congrats on your soon to be engagement.
Engagement/Wedding Rings
- Thread starter john_pifer
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One thing that makes our situation a little more complicated is that it's a long-distance relationship at the moment (she lives 7 hours away at the moment, though she's currently making plans to move here).
In my grandparents time a ring meant forever.. in my parents time it meant at least 18 years for the most part.. in todays time i dont see where it means much except for selfies on social media.
My girlfriend of 9 years has been married 4 times.. i dont think she has any of the rings.
Best of luck to you and base your decision on your heart.. not on what others think.
In my grandparents time a ring meant forever.. in my parents time it meant at least 18 years for the most part.. in todays time i dont see where it means much except for selfies on social media.
My girlfriend of 9 years has been married 4 times.. i dont think she has any of the rings.
Best of luck to you and base your decision on your heart.. not on what others think.
Originally Posted by The_Eric
My 2c worth is don't go crazy on a trinket - it's simbolic, so get her something tasteful and preferably from a local gem cutter. There are also many artisans online that can create beautiful rings and combine them with any gem for something that is truly unique and meaningful.
FWIW, I'm biased against diamonds. I think they're plain and overpriced.
Yep. + 1000000 %
My 2c worth is don't go crazy on a trinket - it's simbolic, so get her something tasteful and preferably from a local gem cutter. There are also many artisans online that can create beautiful rings and combine them with any gem for something that is truly unique and meaningful.
FWIW, I'm biased against diamonds. I think they're plain and overpriced.
Yep. + 1000000 %
You can get GREAT deals used (most marriages end in devorce) the mark up on jewellery is HUGE. Just look at the retail values v what you might get in cash if you sold it!
If you are both sensable you will agree NOTto waste money, and not buy into the jewellery scam. Use the money on somethig that has use.
If she does not agree to this, just buy an old ring, practice being teary eyed, and tell her it was your grandmothers.
Good luck.
If you are both sensable you will agree NOTto waste money, and not buy into the jewellery scam. Use the money on somethig that has use.
If she does not agree to this, just buy an old ring, practice being teary eyed, and tell her it was your grandmothers.
Good luck.
Kestas
Staff member
I am disgusted by the monopoly De Beers has on the diamond industry and how it fits into our culture of wedding engagements. If you want to know the true worth of a diamond, try selling one.
Have you ever tried to sell a diamond?
Have you ever tried to sell a diamond?
LOL, some of the commenters here have probably long forgotten the excitement and passion of pre-marriage romance. I share the values of these commenters regarding jewelry and I am lucky that my wife of 42 years does also. But, still, I did enjoy that blind passion of romantic love during our young courting years. I stopped wearing my wedding band 1 year into our marriage after I smashed it onto my finger while operating a logging skidder. My wife wears her grandmother's (rip) wedding ring.
john_pifer, congrats on your upcoming engagement. If you are really prepared for life long commitment, this is something the both of you should choose together using some common sense. I wish you a long and contented marriage.
john_pifer, congrats on your upcoming engagement. If you are really prepared for life long commitment, this is something the both of you should choose together using some common sense. I wish you a long and contented marriage.
Buy from an estate jeweler. You will be getting Vintage, not vintage looks. I bought by wife an old mine cut diamond from the 1920's for our engagement. Pricing should be a lot lower. Nice to think that someone else enjoyed it too. (Note that the carat weight of older cuts is higher for the same size). Bragging rights only happen with really, really big stones (which cost a lot more than $12K) so get what you can afford. You might have a home to purchase too, so the same applies to the wedding. Don't listen to the 3 mo. salary marketing pitch-or whatever the current pitch is- of DeBeers.
Sustainability apples to your finances.
Also make sure you can get your money refunded if it doesn't work out.
Sustainability apples to your finances.
Also make sure you can get your money refunded if it doesn't work out.
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find a true jeweler near you. Not a chain, but a craftsman that makes his own pieces. Then sit down with him and talk about what your wife is like. If your wife is into sports, don't buy her something that has the stone set outboard of the ring...she'll damage or lose it. If the ring will be a showpiece, bigger diamond with lesser clarity and color. If it's a special item for the two of you, smaller but better quality stone. A proper craftsman will ask you whether fusing the engagement and wedding band is something you want, then design the items around that. You will probably not pay any more than a ring from a larger chain and will get something that she and you will like for the future.
Go to Walmart and get the silicon stretchy rings for working out. I got two for $10. Comfortable and safe if you work out or with machinery. Then for show get simple gold bands. A simple elegant look.
Great thread, lots of perspectives for the OP. My vote is to settle on your budget and get the "best" ring you can from Blue Nile or Costco or similar. The reality is diamonds have no intrinsic value and the gemstone industry is basically a racket. Sure if you want a unique ring/setting get it custom/locally produced but for the stone itself you need to be ruthless. It's literally a rock. Unless you're a guy who likes to brag about how much you spent on something, you want to shoot for the best value for acceptable quality here.
I was fortunate (in one way) to inherit the diamond used for my wife's wedding ring.
One piece of advice for your own wedding ring - don't spend a lot on it. I got married in 2003, got a very nice but plain platinum band for about $800. I lost it. I replaced it with a Cobalt ring from Amazon that is visually indistinguishable, comfort fit and everything, for less than 1/10th the price.
jeff
I was fortunate (in one way) to inherit the diamond used for my wife's wedding ring.
One piece of advice for your own wedding ring - don't spend a lot on it. I got married in 2003, got a very nice but plain platinum band for about $800. I lost it. I replaced it with a Cobalt ring from Amazon that is visually indistinguishable, comfort fit and everything, for less than 1/10th the price.
jeff
You cannot go wrong at Costco or Sam's Club. Much better quality for the price than any mall jewelry store.
Originally Posted by Old Mustang Guy
Go to Walmart and get the silicon stretchy rings for working out. I got two for $10. Comfortable and safe if you work out or with machinery. Then for show get simple gold bands. A simple elegant look.
MY ring for my second marriage was stainless steel. My son in law still remembers my comment: "Good enough for my spoon, good enough for my marriage."
Go to Walmart and get the silicon stretchy rings for working out. I got two for $10. Comfortable and safe if you work out or with machinery. Then for show get simple gold bands. A simple elegant look.
MY ring for my second marriage was stainless steel. My son in law still remembers my comment: "Good enough for my spoon, good enough for my marriage."
John - I went to a local jeweler. Good reputation.
Yeah, markup is high, but being an informed consumer and shopping around helps. These guys were asking a fair price. I am still very happy with it. She loves it.
I found a used ring that was exactly what I was looking for. It was serendipitous. I spent quite a bit more than guys are recommending. I don't buy the "two month's salary" marketing hype from deBeers, but you'll want to get something that is nice.
After the wedding, we had a custom ring made to make a wedding set. It fits into the engagement ring.
PM me for details.
And congratulations!
Yeah, markup is high, but being an informed consumer and shopping around helps. These guys were asking a fair price. I am still very happy with it. She loves it.
I found a used ring that was exactly what I was looking for. It was serendipitous. I spent quite a bit more than guys are recommending. I don't buy the "two month's salary" marketing hype from deBeers, but you'll want to get something that is nice.
After the wedding, we had a custom ring made to make a wedding set. It fits into the engagement ring.
PM me for details.
And congratulations!
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Originally Posted by Voleak
You cannot go wrong at Costco or Sam's Club. Much better quality for the price than any mall jewelry store.
Correct. My wife's ring came from Sams. The stuff for similar prices in the mall stores looked like it would be better suited used on cutting tools.
You cannot go wrong at Costco or Sam's Club. Much better quality for the price than any mall jewelry store.
Correct. My wife's ring came from Sams. The stuff for similar prices in the mall stores looked like it would be better suited used on cutting tools.
Triple_Se7en
$50 Site Donor 2024
Originally Posted by john_pifer
She says she likes the "vintage" style rings, and has sent me photos of a few "wedding sets", which is an engagement ring and a wedding ring that come as a set and fit together.
Thanks...
Since she already knows you want to marry her and from the sounds of it, already had a discussion on rings, then let her pick it out.
You are supposed to propose to her when she's not expecting it. You are supposed to hand her finger the ring when you propose. It's your decision on the ring, when using this M.O.
Since you've done NONE of that, then let her pick out the ring..... since the surprise and the ring (of your choice) has not taken place.
This country's history of marriage proposals is very old..... goes back 100 years at-least. If you are going to break tradition, then let her pick-out her own ring.
Wait - I'm not done. I suppose you never asked the father for permission either. If he's dead, then did you ask the mother?
She says she likes the "vintage" style rings, and has sent me photos of a few "wedding sets", which is an engagement ring and a wedding ring that come as a set and fit together.
Thanks...
Since she already knows you want to marry her and from the sounds of it, already had a discussion on rings, then let her pick it out.
You are supposed to propose to her when she's not expecting it. You are supposed to hand her finger the ring when you propose. It's your decision on the ring, when using this M.O.
Since you've done NONE of that, then let her pick out the ring..... since the surprise and the ring (of your choice) has not taken place.
This country's history of marriage proposals is very old..... goes back 100 years at-least. If you are going to break tradition, then let her pick-out her own ring.
Wait - I'm not done. I suppose you never asked the father for permission either. If he's dead, then did you ask the mother?
Thanks for the comments, but it's not like it's that simple. Like I've mentioned, it's a long-distance relationship (though we do see each other approximately once a month), so there needed to be a discussion on long-term intentions for the relationship. I also needed to get an idea about what she likes. Why would I go into buying a ring (something I know nothing about) blind, and risk getting something she doesn't really like?
Yes, I do plan on making the trip and asking her father for her hand in marriage. I have a good relationship with him, her mother, grandfather, and the rest of her family (she's the eldest of 12, the youngest being just a few months old), and I plan to keep it that way.
I do plan on making the moment of the proposal itself a surprise, even if she knows I do intend to ask at some point.
Yes, I do plan on making the trip and asking her father for her hand in marriage. I have a good relationship with him, her mother, grandfather, and the rest of her family (she's the eldest of 12, the youngest being just a few months old), and I plan to keep it that way.
I do plan on making the moment of the proposal itself a surprise, even if she knows I do intend to ask at some point.
I haggled like I was buying a car. List price was $10,500 and I got it for $7000. it's beautiful. Took my g/f ring shopping at many jewelry stores to see what she would like. It's a 1 carat emerald cut with a platinum art deco setting side baguettes. I see color well in diamonds so I got a high grade in color. My wife loves it.
It's expensive and should last your whole life. Spend time to research. I knew as much about diamonds as a jeweler when I purchased. Knew all my prices from Blue Nile.
I got down on one knee and proposed. It was a surprise to my wife because I kept taking her to jewelry stores to look at rings months after I bought the ring. Took me a few months to pay it off and I didn't want to propose until the ring was paid off.
It's expensive and should last your whole life. Spend time to research. I knew as much about diamonds as a jeweler when I purchased. Knew all my prices from Blue Nile.
I got down on one knee and proposed. It was a surprise to my wife because I kept taking her to jewelry stores to look at rings months after I bought the ring. Took me a few months to pay it off and I didn't want to propose until the ring was paid off.
Get up early one morning and drive down to Atlanta.
Solomon Brothers
Negotiate.
Bam.
Solomon Brothers
Negotiate.
Bam.
I can't fathom spending so much money on a rock. Thankfully, my girlfriend feels the same exact way! Been together for over 16 years now.
We'd rather use money for a trip or other life experience. Such as our trip to Germany in a few weeks. Much better use of the same amount of money as a ring!
We'd rather use money for a trip or other life experience. Such as our trip to Germany in a few weeks. Much better use of the same amount of money as a ring!
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