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Re: Need help. How to agree on spending decisions with wife. [Re: quint] #5093743 05/02/19 11:58 AM
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Quattro Pete Offline
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Originally Posted by quint
He, the court, his lawyer, or whoever eventually got her to write him a check for $125,000, his half of what she had accumulated that he didnt know about. I snarkily asked him why he thought he should have got any of it, since they split the bills 50-50 and whatever was left over, she kept her money, he kept his money, remember that big debate we all had that night uh huh? He just chuckled and said "yea well that goes out the door when you get divorced"

Sounds like pure greed on your friend's part, which is a bigger issue than how you manage your finances, IMO.


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Re: Need help. How to agree on spending decisions with wife. [Re: callbay] #5093878 05/02/19 02:27 PM
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exranger06 Offline
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A lot of people here seem to be assuming the wife is the one who wants to spend the money. The OP never specified who wants to spend the money, and who wants to save it.


2006 Ford Ranger Sport
1992 Honda Accord EX
2013 Toyota Sienna XLE AWD
1994 Ford Bronco XLT (project)
2011 Cadillac Escalade ESV (wife's)
Re: Need help. How to agree on spending decisions with wife. [Re: exranger06] #5093901 05/02/19 03:07 PM
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Malo83 Offline
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Seems to me people with separate accounts have some underlying TRUST issues LOL

Re: Need help. How to agree on spending decisions with wife. [Re: hatt] #5094063 05/02/19 06:02 PM
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xxch4osxx Offline
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Originally Posted by hatt
Originally Posted by xxch4osxx

LOL. So you're not a team at all. If getting together on large purchases is asking permission obviously you guys aren't all that connected.


Thats your opinion, doesn't make it fact.

Where does it stop? If you wife comes home unannounced with a new Audi A8 that's cool? [/quote]

She is paying for it, so, that's her choice. What is wrong with that? When I bought my Ram, I just told her I'm buying a truck and all she said was she can't wait to see it.


2015 RAM SXT Crew Cab 5.7 with 6 speed tranny.

2008 Mazda 3 GS Sport Hatchback 5sp MT (Girlfriend's car)

Re: Need help. How to agree on spending decisions with wife. [Re: xxch4osxx] #5095191 05/03/19 08:39 PM
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hatt Offline
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Originally Posted by xxch4osxx


She is paying for it, so, that's her choice. What is wrong with that? When I bought my Ram, I just told her I'm buying a truck and all she said was she can't wait to see it.

I see you checked in with your wife before your purchase. My wife was pushing me to buy my current truck.

Last edited by hatt; 05/03/19 08:40 PM.

2013 F150 5.0, Delo XLE CK-4 10W-30, Baldwin B7449
2010 Camry 2.5, PP 10W-30, Mobil1 M1C-251A
Re: Need help. How to agree on spending decisions with wife. [Re: callbay] #5095856 05/04/19 07:13 PM
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Cujet Offline
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Something to think about:

Nicolas Kilsdonk-Gervais summarizes rather bluntly:

“Economically, women cost more to the state than they benefit. Put another way, the government (or men) is literally paying women to be alive. Strong independent women are only that way because the state is transferring money from men to them.”

So how bad is it? Kilsdonk-Gervais continues:

“By the end of her life, the average woman will have a negative fiscal impact of $150,000.”




I don't have a wife that outspends me and my airplane. In fact, around here hang out at any boat ramp and notice the 3500 series diesel trucks towing fishing boats with 3ea. 250+HP engines on the back, coupled with a huge fuel bill. Relatively few women can truly outspend men. Even in very wealthy families.

However, it's good to remember who takes the risk to earn all that money. Very few women work as linemen or in power plants, or as airline captains, or as truck drivers, in logging, mining etc. Heck, just the training for an ATP airline captain requires one thousand five hundred hours of flight time in risky, small aircraft. Yes, they are risky, with fatality rates matching motorcycles. Risk, hard work, capability and hours on the job are directly intertwined with money.


Bottom line: Women take far less risk, work (by choice) different jobs and fewer hours than men. We men are entitled to spend appropriately.

Last edited by Cujet; 05/04/19 07:15 PM.

People who count on their fingers should maintain a discreet silence.
Re: Need help. How to agree on spending decisions with wife. [Re: Cujet] #5095922 05/04/19 08:32 PM
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madRiver Offline
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Originally Posted by Cujet
Something to think about:

[i][u]Nicolas Kilsdonk-Gervais summarizes rather bluntly:

“Economically, women cost more to the state than they benefit. Put another way, the government (or men) is literally paying women to be alive. Strong independent women are only that way because the state is transferring money from men to them.”

So how bad is it? Kilsdonk-Gervais continues:

“By the end of her life, the average woman will have a negative fiscal impact of $150,000. Heck, just the training for an ATP airline captain requires one thousand five hundred hours of flight time in risky, small aircraft. Yes, they are risky, with fatality rates matching motorcycles. Risk, hard work, capability and hours on the job are directly intertwined with money.


Bottom line: Women take far less risk, work (by choice) different jobs and fewer hours than men. We men are entitled to spend appropriately.


On commercial passenger airline pilots the only 4 I know are two female and two male. One female a former KC-135 Pilot I think flying a large Boeing now.

Last edited by madRiver; 05/04/19 08:34 PM.
Re: Need help. How to agree on spending decisions with wife. [Re: hatt] #5095979 05/04/19 09:26 PM
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xxch4osxx Offline
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Originally Posted by hatt
Originally Posted by xxch4osxx


She is paying for it, so, that's her choice. What is wrong with that? When I bought my Ram, I just told her I'm buying a truck and all she said was she can't wait to see it.

I see you checked in with your wife before your purchase. My wife was pushing me to buy my current truck.


I would have bought it regardless lol


2015 RAM SXT Crew Cab 5.7 with 6 speed tranny.

2008 Mazda 3 GS Sport Hatchback 5sp MT (Girlfriend's car)

Re: Need help. How to agree on spending decisions with wife. [Re: callbay] #5096557 05/05/19 01:35 PM
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My wife and I have a combined account we only need to inform each other of any luxury expense over $100.. all bills are on auto pay. She also makes more than me so I’m not too picky with her disposable income. She’s usually very generous anyway most purchases benefit both of us. I think an agreement and communication is important
.

Re: Need help. How to agree on spending decisions with wife. [Re: callbay] #5096643 05/05/19 03:04 PM
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BossMoss Offline
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There’s a book called “proper care and feeding of husbands”

It works.

The basic premise is that the woman’s actions decide if the marriage works well or not. She has to put forth 100% effort to see her man happy.

Regardless of how the finances are, ask yourself if she really deep down puts forth effort to see you happy.

I suggest you both read it.

Re: Need help. How to agree on spending decisions with wife. [Re: Malo83] #5097508 05/06/19 01:42 PM
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madRiver Offline
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Originally Posted by Malo83
Seems to me people with separate accounts have some underlying TRUST issues LOL


My wife and I have such accounts. Completely visible to one another online but just logical buckets of money. Her flow in is per diem job she has. Mine is side gig consulting. Our personally play money to spend how we choose on self, family or each other.

Re: Need help. How to agree on spending decisions with wife. [Re: callbay] #5097604 05/06/19 03:41 PM
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Cujet Offline
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Does anyone here have a wife that actually outspends them?

I like and generally own things like:

Racing bicycles
Sports cars
Motorcycles
Airplanes
Seadoo’s
Audio equipment
Machine shop equipment and tooling
TIG welders
And so on.


People who count on their fingers should maintain a discreet silence.
Re: Need help. How to agree on spending decisions with wife. [Re: Cujet] #5097607 05/06/19 03:45 PM
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hatt Offline
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Originally Posted by Cujet
Does anyone here have a wife that actually outspends them?

I like and generally own things like:

Racing bicycles
Sports cars
Motorcycles
Airplanes
Seadoo’s
Audio equipment
Machine shop equipment and tooling
TIG welders
And so on.

I spend more than my wife for sure.


2013 F150 5.0, Delo XLE CK-4 10W-30, Baldwin B7449
2010 Camry 2.5, PP 10W-30, Mobil1 M1C-251A
Re: Need help. How to agree on spending decisions with wife. [Re: callbay] #5097651 05/06/19 04:49 PM
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Originally Posted by callbay
Any method of agreeing on how to spend money with your spouse that works for you?



The most effective strategy I use is reverse psychology. It works more often than not.

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